Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Communicate & Not Hide

on August 24, 2013

Most situations or issues are created on miscommunications.

Biggest challenge is when all communications break down as each walks away with their own perception of what is communicated regardless of if the right theme of message is distributed or received.

Some believe that given time, the matter may resolve itself immaculately! This assumption is false.

Communications come in a myriad of ways. Actions, body language, speech, written mediums all form a part of communications. The difference is, in its deliverance.

My take on communications is to be brutally frank to the point of being candid if the situation allows.

For close friends, a swot on the head like how Laurel and Hardy the comedians do it, can also sometimes work as it releases tension and add comic relief.

But it takes two to want to communicate. If one party decides to negate all communications and “hide” then leave that person be. Maybe this person needs “space” to recover a bruised ego or to borrow the words of Beng, “flee to fight another day”.

Whilst this analogy may work, sometimes time may not be on your side. Leaving things silent has its inflection point as the cold and negative attitude gets further entrenched.

It is good to do a stock check of where we are in terms of deeds done. I am purporting at a societal level of “Living Graciously & Leaving Triumphantly” for seniors.

Often, there are too many things left unsaid before we pack our bags to exit life’s glory.

Lien Foundation has led the pack on this and I am grateful. Whilst many visited me in hospital during my last major hospitalisation, many did not dare touch on death, except Alvin.

I appreciated Alvin candour and we laughed joked about living and death. Rebecca who visited with him also shared the same mindset.

Yes, communication is important as it dictates how we lived, what we want on dying and what is to be done for those to be left behind.

Beng is different. By now you will know that Beng played an important role in my life. Beng avoids reality and quietly hopes for divine intervention. But truly, this does not work. All the positives such as “time heals all wounds” seldom works and is seen as a tacit give up syndrome.

Alvin will do well in what he does. He wears his heart in the right sleeve and seek ways to champion his NGO’s cause to meet the needs on the ground.

Sometimes hearing what we do not wish to hear is unplatable. But the truth of the matter is, the bitter pill must be swallowed before resolutions set in.

I salute the mysteries of life and as each bite makes me tear, gives me indigestion or an occasional euphoria, I maintain the need to have open communications to resolve conflicts or issues AND choose friends carefully. Not all are friends. Some are false friends. Others befriend you for self gain whilst giving you an impression of genuine trust and friendship.

This makes life unique and interesting and remember whilst positivity is an illusion, quiet hopefulness may suffice.  Remain diligent and self reliant always. Save for a rainy day as there are no handouts in life….Economics 101 “no free lunch”!

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