Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Why Catholicism Failed For Me

on November 22, 2013

I am,as Catholics say, a cradle Catholic to begin with as I was born and baptised a Catholic.

I went on to study in a Catholic Kindergarten at Church of the Holy Spirit before going on to do my primary and secondary education at Marymount Convent, Convent of Our Lady of Good Counsel and St Joseph’s Convent.

Every morning before class started I would go to the school chapel or church next door to pray, faithfully attending first Friday masses and abiding by all days of required mass attendances.

My relationship with God continued on and I would be at St Alphonsus to pray in the quiet evenings or whenever I had time.

By age 28 yrs, after a major car crash and almost reporting to heaven, I did not see any bright lights or God’s booming voice or escalators! 😉

Instead I saw self crucified as one of 3 thieves and was being brought down and held in Mother Mary’s arms like in the Pieta scene!

My bluetooth connection to God then went dead. My wifi connection to God disappeared as if he terminated my subscription.

I became despondent as I was hit left right center on major medical issues. He abandoned me and hid.

Instead the more I prayed, Buddhist and Tibetan monks appeared. They chanted sutras for me.

I came to discern the difference in blind faith and teachings of Buddha.

I cannot make sense of what I saw when I almost died.

I am in spiritual limbo and totally disbelieve in God’s existence, much less the Catholic community. I cannot fathom why God abandoned me and decided to send me to be surgically cut up year on year each year 😦 sigh!

So much for being a Catholic journeying from cradle catholic to pious catholic to Sunday catholic and up till some years back, a “bo chap” catholic or cannot be bothered catholic.

I do not believe in God anymore. The church is within us and I am no closer to this God if I make the trip to mass and behaved that hour!

As to why he abandoned me, I am clueless and angry. Catholicism is much dead in my heart. There is no God. But there are spiritual beings; good and bad. Thank goodness my final resting place is adjacent to a temple – my continued spiritual limbo till in death.

I believe in these beings behaving like medical specialists, each with supreme power to treat a spiritual ailment that best matches their expertise. Hence Taoism, Buddhism, Allah’s blessings, Goddess of Mercy and my favorite Lim Tai See, Tua Ya Peh and God of Heavens!

Good bye God. Since you disconnected my connectivity, I have moved on ( HA! The only time I would use this crap statement spouted by motivational speakers!)

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