Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Why Faith & Trust Are Mere Words Or Are They?

Faith and trust are easy words to spout. But how much faith and trust do we place in any one, including immediate relatives, spouses or bosom buddies? This is a tough answer to boot!

I am always reluctant to rely on anyone, much less siblings.

Siblings are down my totem pole of trust as they have done little to earn my trust in the lifetime I have been with them. Sad but true! Shan’t waste time elaborating. Funny thing about trust. I start by giving trust and when it gets abused, I recoiled faster than a Magnum 457 😉

My ex boyfriend was a cad and he went out the ‘trust’ window too.

My surgeon said he ‘trusted’ me and I thought about it. I ‘trusted’ my surgeon for the particular surgical procedure I engaged him for. I doubt I can ‘trust’ him for anything else. I wondered why he ‘trusted’ me though…think….think….ponder….ponder!

Strange that my muses ‘trust’ me and I was pleasantly surprised when Chicken and Bird told me wholeheartedly that they had faith and trust in me and would follow me….I laughed, it sounded like a song that Whoopi Goldberg sang in Sister Act, ‘ I will follow you…wherever you may go…’ But I ain’t God! 😉

But in looking back, I have had some good trustworthy experiences. I am indeed blessed by the generosity of people’s faith and trust. People trust me enough to seek my advice or business views.

It made my day as lately trust and faith is elusive…just like the words behind the US Dollar Bill.

Trust is a big word with big meanings whilst faith is gargantuan!

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Signages That Rock Meanings

I love reading the words on a billboard, sign post or a banner when I shop or walk. To me, there is so much free laughter out there in these items and I would not need to buy comics, joke books or pour through internet.

Fresh air, sunshine and letting my eyes see things before me, not in digital print. Yes, whilst many Singaporeans suffer from Myopia and have need for corrective eye wear, I am lucky that I do not need spectacles!

Aah the secret to good eyesight is to look at the sky, the trees and seeing things other than digital print on computers, tablets or androids 😉

There is so much to see around us but people hardly notice it unless it is related to something they are interested in. Perhaps it is the new male model for a fragrance or clothes wear that as a female, I would gawk at! For the males, a new female model to entice their eyes.

I am weird as I like to read what is around me and point out the bad English or the wrong syntax, erroneous spelling or the ‘strange message’ it infers! All these give me huge laughs and cheap humor as in I need not pay for it in the form of a joke book, google or read about it on the electronic gizmo.

What attracts me to displayed signage is the context with which it is written and the meaning it is trying to send to the potential customer. I laugh truly hard when the English is so bad and distorts the meaning it intends to send. This is besides the Singlish used.

Today I walked past the YMCA and it had a long banner promoting its facilities. The banner reads as,

“Function Spaces Available. Our exquisite ballrooms and meeting rooms provide the perfect setting for all of your momentous banquet or intimate private party”

I laughed at usage of ‘Function Spaces’ hmm….perhaps the intent was function rooms for banquet events?!

My alarm bells in my hamster wheel rang when I further read and it inferred an intimate private party…my mind raced to visions of ala Hugh Hefner style with Playboy Bunnies perhaps? Sounded like sex was inferred in ‘intimate private party’ and all things kinky could be done 😉

Isn’t reading signage just fun! You should try it sometime!

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Mechanics Of An Ideal Marriage

If you are reading my blog for the first time, I am oh so very single and never married. Yup! I am one of those bachelorette left on the top shelf of Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard and forgotten.

Thankfully I am not mouldy! Not yet anyway!

I almost got married but gleefully I escaped the clutches of my ex boyfriend. Still, if I ever should decide to get married, I envisage the mechanics to marriage, my way 🙂

Rule #1
In the treasury department, I would ensure, my monies are my monies and his monies are my monies! LOL! Who asked him to marry a distant 15,000 removed cousin of the Federal Chief of Royal Treasury!

Rule #2
If he is a divorcee with baggages as in a kid or two, do not expect me to be the “mother” as I am not step mother of Norman Bates standard. Neither am I one of the Steppford wives.

Rule #3
The matrimonial home must be bought as joint owners and he better pay his 50% share. I am not interested in his properties if any and neither must he be interested in any of my properties if any. I did not marry a toy boy and do not intend to start.

Rule #5
House chores expected! He did not marry the housekeeper 😉 but he is welcomed to hire a maid and pay for it!! He can then live in a pig sty as the housekeeper can clean and give me a clean pig sty when I am home. Yup the Queen of freaky cleanliness must be happy in her domain or kingdom 😉

Rule #6
Man must keep out of my business and not pry. Neither must he ask my whereabouts. I did not marry a private detective.

So many rules….I might as well continue to stay single till a kind hearted chap comes along such that I can co-exist happily 😉

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Barracuda Ally’s 3rd Concerto In D Minor

Each time I go for my physiotherapy by Barracuda Ally, she will be pummeling my sore muscles or should I say, spasms in the 10th degree. Technically, it is a sports massage but admittedly, I am a drama queen! Aww…it does hurt!

I would be writhing in pain as she massages my sore legs, back and neck. I complained that last week her manipulations to my tummy area to get at the aggravated nerve left me with so much residual pain that it hurt even when I leaned against the kitchen sink!

She was relentless in her reproach of me. “That ought to teach you to move away from the kitchen sink and use your back muscles!” – she is worst than my mum! LOL so fierce!

I would ask her the same question, “what is your prognosis for my full recovery as in no more pain?” Her sharp retort would be, ” when you stop misbehaving and start doing all sorts of silly activities that sets you back in your progress!”

She further added, “each session you ask me the same question but you do not cooperate with me and instead of pacing self, you climb Mt Everest and do activities beyond you!” Technically I did not climb Mt Everest but she was making a point! Actually, she is also a drama queen 😉

I laughed. I enjoyed the banter and she lets up. “You are the only patient that keeps annoying me and must make me nag! I might as well, record my nag and play it back for you when you ask me the same question!” 😉

Aha, I retorted, “Yes! Yes! I shall use it for my ringtone on my cellphone and call it Barracuda Ally’s 3rd Concerto in D Minor” – she burst out laughing.

I told her I would call my whining, “Garfield’s Lament In Pain G Sharp”

To make her day, I told her my numbness in my thigh had lessened but she was sharp to ask me if I did anything? I told her I vegetated on the couch watching my 108 epic Korean soap. I was down to episode 105!! She went ‘Tsk! Tsk! You see if you behave and rest, you heal”

She is off for a well deserved weekend shopping trip to Bangkok. Have a great shopping and eating trip Barracuda Ally! 🙂

Till Tuesday and Thursday, both concertos shall be played again….ha ha ha! And in sensurround too!

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A New Muse For My Blog, S Man

S Man whom I shall so nickname is not Superman but just S Man. The pronunciation fits him as I felt he was a real ass of a man when I first met him! 😉

Obnoxiously arrogant reminding all he meets he has a doctorate. He was somewhat, he thought, the blue-eyed poster boy of his employer.

In less than a year into his job, he became yesterday’s flavor after he got into a bitter brawl of words with his employer.

Businessmen are sharky and they are movers and shakers or else how do they get ahead to build or accumulate wealth.

Though he was positioned as a corporate strategist, he wanted to show his broad general knowledge in every part of the business and it included accounting. Of course Mr Accountant was not going to let that happen over his dead Filipino body and so, they both also got into a war of words!

Lesson #1 if you are not The Accountant and the Real Incumbent Accountant is a Filipino and supported by a team of colleagues from Philippines, please shut up! Know your world and territorial rights! Not even United Nations Law Of the Sea can help you 😉

I was amused to hear all this venting from S Man. What ails in this picture was basically S Man’s disdainful attitude I felt. To me, he did not own the business and it is not his purview to get so personal in any of the business decisions made by his employer.

One can give advice but if advice is not heeded, it is their prerogative to accept or reject. Why get personally involved?

As to if there were grey business areas, my view was that there are government agencies or legal entities such as watch dogs to intervene. If anything runs foul of the law, the long arm of the law will catch up. Jail time or I say, free board and lodging awaits the culprits if any 😉

It was really none of S Man’s beeswax as American Slang 101 taught me! 😉

S man was emotionally attached to a lot of things. So over lunch today, I explained to him my thoughts. I shared Lesson #2 As an employee, we are just that, that is, an employee, nothing more, nothing less.

Why must emotions take control of decision making?

Lesson #3 Decision making must be made detached and in the best interest of the company. Call if selfish or otherwise, all employers are selfish as it is their top or bottom lines.

Let go S Man. Do not impose your views forcibly on anyone. Each has their right to live the life they so choose and no one must force their will on anyone.

I further explained that what one sees may not be what one sees. Mind and body is detached and we live for the now and the today. He told me it was deep thoughts!

He went on to talk of filial piety. I told him that everyone is transient on earth. Our body is transient as it is a carcass of life. One life ends, the carcass is either buried or it gets shoved into a BBQ pit and it becomes ashes to ashes and dust to dust. For me, I told him it would be from the freezer to the BBQ pit 😉

Filial piety in the extreme was plain stupidity I told him bluntly. If your mum at age 73 expects you to sit with her and curtails your opportunity to work, this cannot be! How can you be economically viable?

In this instance, filial piety fails! My parting shot to S man was wake up and smell the coffee. If you think you are the “hero” of the family and you continue onto drift with no job, let’s see how long his mum can tolerate and the whole kampong (Malay word for village of relatives or extended family) of family?

It is all about economics. Money talks S Man! Good luck on your job search 🙂

As for me, I reminded him, I am cynical and live a detached life or at least I try to.

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Why When One Door Closes, Another Opens

I first learnt of this saying in 2006 when a lawyer who was a managing partner of her firm said this to me. I felt sad she said this to me back then, but today, on hindsight I am glad she did what she did. I learnt life’s lesson.

Since then, I have grown leaps and bounds. I made it to the top 5% wage income earner bracket and worked through MNCs, travelled the world as a corporate traveller and saw Europe that I never knew, such as the in cold fjords in Stavanger, Norway and the Gay City of Brighton, UK. Other interesting sights also made me feel in awe of the Nordic world.

I recently bumped into this lady. She looked better than before! Fit and prettier. I was delighted as I could tell her in person, big thanks for her wise words. If she had not shoved me out the door, I would not have learnt to swim, much less do marathons in the pool.

Today, I used this phrase for a dear friend of mine. He lost an account he was servicing but I pointed out to him that with a new project coming up, perhaps it was divine intervention to get him to focus and achieve better through this new project.

In turn, I will give him whatever support I could in delivering this project with another good friend of mine.

Such is karma. If things end, it means our karma ends. I am pretty sure that bigger things are ahead for the 3 of us and that we will achieve better than the account lost.

Yes, when one door closes, another opens!

Cheers to a new life ahead for three of us! 🙂

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The Joy Of Clean Tap Water

I take water for granted. I get up, I turn on the tap or faucet and fresh, clean, clear running water comes flowing out.

Recently the underground tanks of China have been contaminated! The panic in the nationals of China are seen as they rush to get bottled water.

In less developed nations, water is as clear as mud. We hear of relief missions going out to such countries to dig wells or facilitate water to villages of remote rural towns.

I have blogged previously on our 3 taps; new water, water from Johor Bahru and our own natural catchment areas. Our desalination plants are a pride to our little island state and this is something we can crow about.

We may be a small island state, but thankfully our technology and infrastructure makes us economically viable to afford such water supply at our beck and call. Our driest days a month ago which left our grassy patches brown and ‘green lungs’ looking like a ‘smoker’s lung’ did not see us citizens, undergoing water rationing nor lining up to get buckets of water for our ration from public trucks!

Yes, I do take water for granted and though I know it is a scarce resource, the scarcity is not felt. Still, I must always remind self that for each drop if I should waste, another person in a less developed country who is not as fortunate as I, may need it to survive.

Water….I need you for survival and sustenance! Thank you Mother Gaia and may we all do our conscientious part to help Earth!

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Hello Kitty Mania – Powerful Kitty

My poor Garfield pales beyond comparison to that Of Hello Kitty!

MacDonald’s web site was shut after half an hour of these little Kitties being launched for advance sales.

Sigh, if only MacDonald’s would do that for Garfield. I can imagine Garfield all togged out in different tunics with sarcasm reeking in his T-shirt or jacket or outfit. Tag lines like ‘I hate Mondays’ will definitely not be a crowd pleaser for the majority but hopefully to some twits like me who adore this furry inanimate soft toy creation of Jim Davis will find it humorous!

I am sure my fellow acquaintances who know of my crazy love for Garfield would line or as they say in my little red dot, Q for me! 😉

Created in 1978, Garfield is 36 years old, 4 years younger than his female counterpart without a mouth, Hello Kitty!

Give me Garfield anytime, he has a crooked smile, beady eyes but he is just right for squooshing 😉

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Why I Did Not Marry My Ex Boyfriend

My ex boyfriend was not an axe lobbing or gun toting murderer. He was also not a crook. He was much worst.

He was a money eyeing opportunist who would marry any one with a ready made business or windfall to boot.

I remember vividly how he drove to my office in his 2 liter cc Honda Accord, calling me to date me for lunch.

After lunch, he drove me back to my office car park and proposed to me with a dried grass ring.

I bawled my eyes out and could not say yes to marry him. I did not know why either except the Gods must have looking out for me back then.

He disappeared after saying to me that if I had to cry so hard, it meant that I was unhappy.

3 months later, he told me he was marrying a woman he met in church. I later found out that this lowly educated woman he chose had a dying relative with a ready business to take on.

Ka ching!! $$$ must have rang in the till of his brain and he jumped at the opportunity to get rich quick! Jackpot!!

Wow! Marriages revolve on wealth! I had no wealth. First job after my education overseas.

10 years later, my ex boyfriend turns up like a bad penny saying all things bad with his marriage!

My answer is simple. You chose to marry your bimbo, live with it. Who cares if she controls you like she owns you. Wake up, of course you fool, business was hers.

This marked the start of his philandering ways…. The saga continues! 😉

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My Fruitcake Would Fail Any Sobriety Test

Once upon a time in the late 1986 era, I baked ‘lethal’ fruit cakes!

Lethal?! Erm, isn’t it murderous to feed anyone with it much less giving it away as Christmas presents?

Let me explain! I love baking cakes, actually only one type of cake – fruit cake. No, I am not a ‘fruit cake’ as Americans would brand some folks! 😉

My fruit cakes are hand made. Dried fruits such as raisins, citrus peel and dried cherries are all painfully mixed and soaked for at least 48 hours in XO brandy, Vodka and gold Bacardi Rum.

Each time the thirsty fruit peels soaked up the spirits, I would lavishly add more like a ritual till 48 hours are up and the fruits are plumped and juicy.

The final touch was adding Gordon’s Gin.

All in all, as much as half a litre of spirits are used.

I will then use a wooden spoon to cream butter, sugar and eggs by hand. Depending on my mood, I will then add whisky!

My fruit cakes have a long waiting list of recipients lining up for a cake or a slice.

Moist and chokeful of spirits, men whallop it like there is no tomorrow, lip smacking good they claim.

Small wonder, I expect if I put a match against my cake, it would flame on like flambe or Torch of The Adventourous 4 fame! 😉

My warning to those who help selves to more than 3 slices of my lethal fruitcake is watch out if there is a road block and the cops do random sobriety tests on drivers. Chances are they may be legally drunk!

Well my cake baking days are over and my oven died due to neglect.

Electrical items unused after a while die naturally!

I look forward to baking in better health and giving happy eaters a slice of my lethal or high spirited fruit cake 😉

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