Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Aging Is Unconditional

Aging comes to different people in different forms.

A baby ages as the baby begins to crawl and then pick self up to walk those first steps and enters toddler hood.

I like making up new terms to suit the occasion πŸ™‚ but darn it, parents get all gooey eyed and grand parents gleam as if they are seeing a miraculous feat! Gawd, it is just a darn four feet starting to walk two feet ha ha! Parenthood, I can never understand other than, it is a burden for life or an investment, take your pick πŸ˜‰

As a toddler grows up to be a kid, their lungs become even bigger capacities for air to make a lot of noise or I want this or I want that…parents had better have deep pockets as kids compare bags, shoes, IT gadgetry and communication devices! Unending field trips overseas, not across a neighbouring country mind you, but as far as Amsterdam during the school break. Time to hock your silverware or gold bars to pay for this trip.

As a kid grows up to be a teenager…acne, periods, or male hormones get raging. Dating is an issue with parents. Curfews set in and a lot of arguments on being grounded or something like that.

As a spouse – a whole new world begins. Wifey is always domineering and wanting to control man! Man is always like a meerkat, on its hind paws listening or not really, but programmed to say, “yes dear, or no dear” – this is the best tacit diplomacy to avoid being in the dog house!

As a parent, even if you become a grandparent, your child who may be in their 30s, 40s or 50s, is still your “baby”

As a grandparent, you silently cry when your children and grandchildren forgets you. You take such a back seat that you soon blend in with the walls. If mobility is robbed, you are left in the care of a care giver if you are lucky or with children of domineering spouses. Usually the women are the evilest as you are parked with the son’s home.

Aging is unconditional and a difficult one if one does not adjust to accept and manage old age. Coping or a challenge? Coping with success is fine but when it is a challenge and you lose or your coping mechanism fails, then, you may be chucked into an aged home! But hey this is better than being imprisoned with an “in law” than being outlawed, a prisoner in your own “home”

Ageing gracefully, though often touted, is an art and requires a fair amount of coping, verbosity and mindful determination to retain your marbles and make your position clear.

Feisty to stay ahead as a senior or in my little red dot, our latest tag phrase – the pioneer generation πŸ™‚

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Happy Nurses Day!!

Today is Nurses Day – Yup 1st August is always dedicated as a day for Nurses in my little red dot!

So here goes my speech for nurses…darn and boy have I had a lot of nurses taking care of me over the many many uncountable hospitalisations….

To the nurses at Gleneagles Hospital, my thanks to Sister Selvi, Constance, Doris Tchen (who is now taking care of Parkway East) and their team for nursing me back to health after each surgical procedure.

Yup, my butt gets cleaned, my hair gets washed and I get my teeth cleaned too!

Your humouring my antique Garfield who sleeps with me each time I am incarcerated is appreciated as I could not have made it through the night without Jim Davis’ creation! Thanks for not thinking I am bonkers! Yes, I have checked with my surgeons and they all agree I have not quite gone insane just yet though as I often go for reality checks
πŸ˜€

My countless bell calls as I am unable to move or relieve self reminds me of what it is like to bed ridden. Thankfully my incapacity is shortlived each time but I felt really bad to keep pressing the darn call bell button. Like a heroine, I tried to amble to the toilet on my own only to be chided and locked in through bed rails – WHY? Cos my nurses CARE along side with my wonderful team of doctors!

To the nurses at Singapore General Hospital, my thanks to the nurses who work at the different specialist clinics or wards…too many to name but they are the ones making my wait bearable and knowing when I am really ill to be moved to the front of the queue! I get asked if I am ok every now and then whilst waiting for the doctor!

Despite the huge patient load, the nurses are attentive to get me water or help me when I feel unwell along the corridors.

To the nurses at my private surgeons’ clinics, Han, Thazin, Ling and others – I appreciate them reminding this hare brained brainless woman on dates and times to get to the clinics on the right days and at the right times πŸ™‚

Happy Nurses Day…..you all made Florence Nightingale super proud of carrying on the tradition of patient care!!

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Simple Delights Or I Call It A Quick Hunger Fix

When I am in need of a quick hunger fix, I find my Asian roots rearing its head in choices of food. Asian? Because I am assuming it is of this genre of food choice, given, ancestors take it for a quick hunger fix or is it because of the British Crown Colony effect(?)

This is where I am unsure as my American, Asian or British palate comes into play!

I love taking a heaped teaspoon of Nescafe Gold Instant coffee granules (choked full of caffeine – I assure you the red cap signifying decaffeinated on the jar label is a waste of time for coffee habitual drinkers), stirring in hot boiling water and sitting down to chow down on Jacob’s cream crackers.

The old fashioned Jacob’s cream crackers, till a new variety came along – wholemeal, low salt & high fibre! Of course our own little red dot came out with their own version under Thye Hong brand, oilier but great tasting! Yup, anything that tastes good is usually greasier as there must be some form of oil in it.

Dunking in these superb crackers and slipping an occasional McVities Digestives biscuit or a Marks & Spencer Rich Tea biscuit is a rare treat!

Absolutely satiating and tasty this darn treat is and it is so addictive that I can if I choose, dunk more than 3 pcs of this cream cracker πŸ˜€

But the greedy pig in me has to stop at 3 cream crackers!!

I never enjoyed chunking down pancakes or waffles or bangers and mash as they say as I am oh so guilty as these foods make me so very guilty after pigging out!

Ah well, I am happy to have a 1 kilo tin of these cream crackers in my office cabinet for emergency quick fixes on the tummy growls or if I feel in need of some comfort food πŸ™‚

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Bad Manners …..Think Again!

I find foreign talent (they think they are foreign talent and I do not mean those from upper echelons of society’s rungs like the really qualified CEOs but the minion species hired by stingy firms to undercut the local workforce) sometimes rather rude.

I had the Mistress of Money Bags stomping up to me with a big loud fat “EHHHH…..my dentist claim not approved. Why?”

I turned around with the biggest smile and shot back “EHHHHH why, what happened”

Mistress of Money Bags realises I am slighting her now, adds, “Ehh but I said XXXXXXX your name what” and I again with the biggest smile said, “EHHH XXXXX let me look into it”

After looking up the issue, I went back to her and said, “EHHHH…I have buttered the vendor and they will revert”

Mistress of Money Bags returns a smile, “Ya lor…you Head Honcho sure can solve”

Meanwhile, Money Bags turns around to me and said that whatever I want to talk to Mistress of Money Bags can be said in common area of his department. Of which, “I said, errm, so if she wants to talk about her poor sex performance, I can speak in common area?” All this with a big big smile πŸ˜€

SMILES can kill and will kill – my secret weapon of killing an enemy – WITH A HUGE SMILE! πŸ™‚

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I Am Merlin The Wizard For The Day

Technically, I guess I should be the Witch for the day, ie today! But I could not find the name of a prominent witch as compared to the legend of Merlin, renowned for King Arthur’s tales. Of course, I have the goggle box to thank for the Adventures of Merlin πŸ™‚

Today’s yarn, I meet the Evil Circle Of Distrust. This Evil Circle comprises Innocents and the Tarnished, but white washed till squeaky clean! Don’t you think my story is starting out fine? LOL!

My my, I am spinning a macabre story of the gruesome, eviliest (technically for good English, it should read as “most evil” but I do like the dramatics building to a crescendo of thoughts! HA!)

Merlin is my persona for the day as I am expected to pull out my crystal ball and peer into the future since I am now Money Bags day use to sit and look pretty whilst he does his white washing efforts before the Evil Circle of Scorpion King. Merlin is required to perform and set upon a magical bewitching cloud of cover to show that purity exists in the room. But who are we kidding, it is left pocket to right pocket concept!

The Innocents are essentially innocent as they choose to see what they see and what they cannot see, is not seen. Perfect setting for mindful oblivion – this is the best art skills for management theory. AHA I should write a new theory of management that may help book sales….Amazon.com here I come, Book Cover title screaming, “The Art Of Oblivion Management” or “How To Look & Not See” – perfect for accountants and auditors of the shady kind or management seeking shade πŸ˜‰

Magical wizardry is required to manage this. I wish I had Harry Potter’s wand today to poof up a dragon to snort fire and set relevant processes aflame such that Innocents have no choice but to see.

I hate this “choosing to see what you want to see” – Perhaps integrity and honesty is lost and sadly this is true of the business world. Nothing is real and likely surreal as black is not black and white is not white as white washing makes it grey!

Grey areas float beneath the law and it will need long arm ( I emphasize extremely long arms of the law) of the law to catch up with people who uses such technique to get ahead.

An example to cite, bilateral tax treaties are created by USA with other countries to prevent tax evasion.

The big fat Swiss Accounts of people may come under scrutiny and it seems that the smart or intellectually evil doers of the monetary kind are malleable folks, as their financial creativity is divine.

Test markers are dip stick tested to know where the threshold of greyness can lie and will lie. Evil Doers of the Monetary Kind then presets their outbound markers and stay within the windy side of law.

If one excels, then Evil Doers Of The Monetary Kind excels. Funds go towards their procurement of overseas properties, jacking up prices and later when property flips as in passed to the next buyer, money is cleansed of all mortal and venial sins as if baptised by the Holy Waters Of The Jordan River! πŸ˜€

It takes a while for things to blow up and reading the papers daily, one can see so and so is charged for fraud, money laundering, graft for criminal breach of trust.

Thankfully, once the officers of the Corrupt Practices Investigative Bureau (CPIB) starts, they do not let go and this is nice as it sets the line of how much tolerance dirt is tolerated.

Realistically, in the reality of life, there is always a dark story to how one makes it rich. Unless the person struck gold or black gold with bubbling brew of black crude from the ground like Jethro and the Beverly Hillbillies clan, the likelihood of squeaky clean is perhaps white washed?

What I have learnt in life (one of life’s most awfullest (if there is such a word) is black is not black and white is not white. Trust me, check the paint color code chart and I was floored when I saw a chart of paint list….Orchid White, Lily white, fushcia white and black has ebony black, Jet black and seasame seed black tones!

I wonder if I will survive sitting pretty and being an air head for the day? Hmmm….I hope to win my Academy Award for Best Actress in the category of Magician for the Day or Brainless But Smiley Award πŸ˜€

Given a choice, I would set the dogs on them, blow the whistle but there is this thing called hearsay and proof….aaah…my dear Watson…we need Sherlock Holmes! LOL!

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Kids Can Be Brutal, Kids Can Be “Evil”

Kids (actually I am referring to young children here and not “kids” as in the young of goats LOL) are pure innocence and I mean, truly innocent such that they say it and tell it as they see it!

I love childlike innocence to a certain degree as too much of it can seem like a horror movie! Pray tell, a young child would scream or in their lingua franca…”tell me! Tell me!” when they are eager to know if you will agree to something they want or ask for. πŸ™‚

My nephew was once upon a time a 4 year old toddler and this is the best part of his life to me as I could tell him the best untruths that it confounds him. His innocence as I tell him fibs that my inanimate furry stuff toy, Garfield, can walk and talk only around midnight!

His innocent voice telling me that so and so we met, “is stinky pooh” – Kids being kids will tell you if someone we met smells, be it a beggar or one with bad body odour. As an adult, I cringe when he tells me such things in the presence of the person who is the poor party he is referring to.

Yes, in adult life, we have to be kind and I guess this is where we have to be cruel to be kind. Cruel to me means, we shield the truth from the person referred to as personal hygiene is a personal choice. Or maybe the person works in a menial laborer’s role that he has no choice.

I remember explaining to nephew why it is not nice to say that and keep it to self but he would innocently reply, “Yee Yee (dialect for Aunty) why don’t we just tell him to clean up and he will be smelling good again!” – true, nephew has a point, but nobody likes to hear of anything negative per se.

I especially cringe when nephew says, “why are you so fat!” – this is pure evil! FAT, good grief, that is the end if it is a female person he is referring to.

This adult “fat” person giving and nephew receiving hong bao ( a red packet for Chinese New Year that contains money) may not be amused by his candid announcement. I can see visions of an invisible mallet pounding on nephew’s head.

These days, words like “overweight” or “obese” sounds lighter but it means the same, “FAT”!! Ugh!! What is worst is when the clinician says,
“morbidly obese” – now this sounds evil like! As if a strange foreboding of Doomslayer standards!

Sigh, kids can be the funniest or evilest thing….if there is such a word as “evilest” as technically, it is “the most evil” – but hey, they are kids and as they mix with others in school, they will grow up, they will learn to say “politically correct” words to describe someone or be polite to keep it to self and say or comment in the privacy of his own.

Welcome to a kid’s world! πŸ˜€

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Everything Due Yesterday

There is no equality in life. Though it is often said that all men (including women) are born equal, I do take dispute in this sentence as these days, some are not even born equal, as they are born with disabilities!

A child born out of wedlock or at worst by a crack addict mum leaving disabilities for the poor child.

In working life, one may have a similar title, but yet things at work are so dissimilar and I can totally bash the head of Acorn Nut as he clearly has no clue on what a “like for like” product entails. His usage of the words, “similar yet dissimilar” prompted me to write this blog!

Similar means having a likeness or resemblance of the same as in similar two houses. Similar is especially clear in geometry as in similar angles, triangles etc.

So what the heck is this Acorn Nut talking about? Obviously, his English is poor and he is an old coot! Trust me, mega old, stubborn and asinine most times with a reputation in the market that no one wants to be even 10,000 sq km near him!

Back to my blog article as I got carried away with this Acorn Nut πŸ˜€

One may have the same job titles but the experience and scope of one’s capabilities can attract dissimilar compensation, especially if one’s merits are noticed.

But it largely sucks if one works in a non meritorious environment and relies on currying of favors to get ahead or bluntly, “plain sucking up to get ahead!”

Some may have a job with the world’s best bosses and an understanding environment that things require time to turn around.

Despite my breakneck speed to complete work tasks, I get piled on with a lot more load as this camel it seems can do more. I can do more as I know I have large capacity to absorb but the question is, why should I set new limits for idiotic Head Honchos to pile on more.

Head Honchos are usually a blessed but dumb lot. But to be fair, I guess, they have a lot of luck and some methodology to get ahead of the game as they become head honchos in the manner different from me.

If you want a reply or a decision from Head Honcho, you will probably have to wait weeks or months if you are not quite lucky but hey, if Head Honcho wants something, anything, it was like due yesterday but then, they take forever to return with a decision.

Sometimes, for negotiation settlements, I can be tasked to enter into the fight ring (imagine along with me if you will) with my hands and legs shackled but I am expected to fight like a prize bull! I assure you no amount of head butting would work too, as guess what, Head Honcho shaved off my butt horns too 😦

Not a fair fight right? Wrong! In Head Honcho’s view, the fight is most fair and because I lost, this poor prize bull is locked up without food and water as it failed to perform!

Voila…..Management 101 at my door step!

My strategy is, look good when entering a fight ring. Tell opponents I am bound, gagged and injured. Let’s not fight and instead peace talk with a friendly round of drinks! LOL!

What Head Honcho does not have is charisma, charm or tacit diplomacy! Darn, politics work! πŸ˜€

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I Feel Antiquated When…..

There is a great divide amongst how people think or do things.

There is the baby boomers, post baby boomers, Gen X, Gen Y & the latest, Strawberry Generation. Erm, I am not talking about a new Zombie game or hand held game boy or whatchamacallits but I am describing humans or homo sapiens generally boxed into categories.

I feel antiquated when at conversations, I speak on a topic and people think I am speaking in a language unheard of in my little red dot. Trust me, it is in English and I even said it in Singlish (our local slang) and yet, they grasp ZILCH! Man! It hit me and I know I am antiquated when the Gen X or Gen Y says, “ohhhh, that is retro”

Ugh!!

But thankfully, they are into disco era and it was as if John Travolta is an icon as songs from the 70s, 80s or 90s (erm, these human forms call it “noughties” duh!! In English, I would say “naughty”) is the only way I was taught to spell the same synonym but it takes a whole new meaning!

I love the Disco songs – the likes of Donna Summer, Grease, Saturday Night Fever, Bee Gees – thankfully, their songs are still deemed cool and hip just like Michael Jackson as well as Whitney Houston (God rest her soul, I will never forget her sopranic rendition of the Body Guard theme song).

I feel antiquated when I see George Clooney’s latest pix and realise, Gawd, he has aged! So has Harrison Ford (Indiana Jones fame) and Robin Williams (I was watching his latest sitcom as an advertising firm owner, working alongside her daughter) – good grief, I must be aging too as they have and the last time I checked, I ain’t no immortal like the Chinese Fairies!! πŸ˜‰

Age catches up with everyone and no one is left behind. I see the aches and pains of my parents and though I am riddled in pain most times because of Sjorgren’s, 10 screws, implants and titanium rods, I wonder how I will be if ever I live to their ages.

True, humans are living longer but I certainly do not want to live like an immortal if I have no mobility. I prefer to die with dignity πŸ˜€

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David Versus Goliath & I Am The Proverbial Ant

I felt like such an ant today when David faced off Goliath except that it was me versus legal eagles!

A silly colleague infringed the law and it became the fault of the company. I knew that, the negotiators beside me know that! But ugh! Head Honcho refuses to believe that! 😦

It is as if Head Honcho thinks we have leverage to bargain. Imagine if you will, the damages was at $10 (for easier understanding I used $10) but refusing to admit fault, he wishes to pay $0.10! It is as if we robbed someone, got out of jail with a free card and along the way, did a jig in front of the guard and said ‘neh nanny boo boo…catch me if you can!’

As an ant, I knew we will be crushed as there is no negotiating after a settlement was reached at $1.

I wish I was an elephant as I would love to sit on some fellas till they gasp for breath. Unfortunately I was an ant. An ant who had to toggle on her blackberry to update the Head Honcho of the progress of the negotiation.

I was a sandwiched ant and together with another fellow ant, we both looked like Cheech & Chong, with no life buoys in sight as we threaded water, hoping to hear, “land ahoy” or “agreed to settle”.

Crestfallen the two ants went back after 3 hours of negotiation, bringing down the initial settlement sum of $10 to $1 but without any inkling as to if Head Honcho will settle.

Our own legal eagle said if was a good deal and suggested or advised us to take it. If we end up under a gavel, we may end up paying in so many zeros, one cannot count!

Ah well, Head Honcho’s call with Money Bags!

The two ants remember their places…..amongst the other ants, in the ant hill, till we are summoned by Queen Ant also know as Head Honcho.

Soldier ants just soldier on πŸ™‚

Meanwhile the clock ticks as we do have a deadline….tick Tock tick Tock……

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Moral Compass

I believe in Jiminy Cricket, the cartoon character of “conscience” manifested in a Grasshopper or a Locust.

Life’s challenges are coped or manipulated as one strives ahead without thought of hurting, depriving anyone of their merits perhaps.

I like to believe in a moral compass or one’s moral compass.

Is there such a thing?

Does a successful business man believe in say ” live and let live ” or overpower and usurp authority to get ahead or “cheers to me and to hell with others?!

I have been amongst really successful people and even leaders. At the time of a deed, or any deed, one can be mistakenly seen as a dictator, manipulator of sorts.

But in reality, given any political chaos and an economy in throes of economic doldrums, does one give democracy or have a take over mindset to “save the country”?

Agreeably, too much of anything is or can be a bad.

3rd world countries have rampant corruption. Can it be stamped out overnight?

A tad hard is my view as something imbued in a system for centuries or decades (younger countries) is harder to negate.

A brazen Pig Head Without Tail was bold to say that “so what if people are on the take” – he is amongst those in a South East Asian country that is rife with it.

But was it right for one in the business position he is in? Where is his moral compass I thought?

A glib tongue in his head, he asked an upright citizen of the little red dot to ensure no graft in words, but in action he practices anti graft measures with two eyes closed.

Whilst the one he tasks to ensure corrupt free practices is made an enemy by all in country of work, Pighead Without Tail is politically undermining this poor person’s naivete by supporting corrupt practices!

Such as the likes of managed corruption wherein lies the line for moral compass?

My then boyfriend was also a sterling example of one who seems to purport moral compass and bow head in Sunday service to speak before a congregation.

Yet, he says there is no black or white areas but “grey” ones.

He will sleep with any woman to get what he wants though he is “happily married” it seems on the surface.

He will use social enterprise as a phrase to augment his wealth all in the name of entrepreneurial spirit or “love” for people at large!

What is a moral compass then?

Different strokes for different folks?

I rely on my Jiminy Cricket and that is my moral compass. What I do, cannot and must not be at the loss of others!

Sadly, this may explain why I ain’t rich and famous!

πŸ˜‰

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