2016

I imagine self as the town crier ringing a bell, yelling it is New Year! Ha! Ha! Well, in 6 hours for my little red dot!

The work day is long and I am still at work.

I had to manage lunatics todays as seriously, I had two irate customers shouting at my minions. My minions were not at fault and I do feel for them. We had to call the police as they were mentally unsound.

I listened and placated them. I felt like shouting back but I held my tongue as I too experience the same poor service for other services I seek to buy from vendors. I put self in their shoes but I would stop at going ballistic lest I face the men in blue too – not the men in black..ha ha I would not mind meeting Will Smith! 😀

I had a idiot from my Telco service calling me to say that a specific appointment I fixed with them to enter my premises to sort something out, was “unsure” – hmm….I know the feeling now of what it is like to be irritated! Grr!

To be away from work to be available for personal matters, I have to apply a day of leave. A day is precious to me and I sincerely hope that those morons will keep to their word to ensure that the appointment is kept.

How difficult can it be for morons to find a valve to turn on a service? It seems horrendously difficult for them.

I remind self that it is the New Year season and everyone is in the festive mood. I should relax and let them figure it out as to if they will show up or not. Sigh! Just do not waste my one day of precious annual vacation time.

I wonder what the rest of the world is doing now? Busy shopping and stocking up the fridge for tonight’s big do and or a long weekend party?

Or spending quiet time with family? I really wonder….

I wonder if the homeless feel any warmth during this holiday season and if they have shelter some where, be it a cardboard box or somewhere?

I also wonder about the rich and famous in their mansions and a fleet of Rolls Royces or Lamboghinis parked in the majestic winding driveways…..how will they while away their New Year’s?

I suppose they will have a maestro to conduct their orchestra or we call a “live” band as they have guests dressed to the hilt in their finest…having canapés and champagne as they do their a tete a tete amongst the rich and famous.

Life is different for the different folks around the world.

Regardless….may everyone have a lovely new year celebration, be it a cookie shared amongst many or a feast fit for a king. To each their own so long as the better off can remember the less able.

 

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Eve Of New Year’s Eve

Speechless.

Tired.

Brainless.

Boggled.

Usage of “One words” to start my post.

It says alot doesn’t it….my brain is fried and my body is shacked!

How was my day? Atypical as usual. Guffaws! 😂

I hounded the government for government grants to support my company’s project.

Me and my big mouth! I suggest improvements to our modus operadi and I end up “arrowed” – now I must write it, lead it and diagramised everything into flow charts for ISO certification.

It is awful when I am seen as competent as it means that I will end up with all the work load.

Dang it! I should have gone for drama classes when mum wanted me to! I could at least learnt to play the part of Miss Airhead to perfection or look stooopid!!

Grant would typically pay $160,000 for this job and Electrical Lord is getting it from me at the cost of my paltry salary! 😤

Plus my time cost is fully claimmable! HA! I can now tell Electrical Lord my ROI is $1 = $10 and not $5!! Maybe more….since my brain is now fried like an omelette!🍳 Sizzling!!!

Men in Uniform had posted a “wanted” man status for our thief. He cannot exit our country unless he uses a rubber tube and swim across the seas to Malaysia or Indonesia 😉

So! It is the eve of New Year’s eve! And I AM ALIVE!!

Happy New Year folks!

Drink but don’t drive.

Eat but don’t binge.

Sleep but don’t forget to wake.

Laugh but don’t cry.

Be merry but not selfish.

Be lazy but not slothful.

Be happy. Be blessed.

Be still and know you are loved!

Cheers! 😊

My Typical Day Is Atypical Really

I do not live a typical work day. In fact the only typical fact of my life is waking up and going to bed hugging my inanimate furball Garfield.

Gee…I am akin to Linus and his security blanket of Peanuts fame, except I am a mere mortal, and hardly famous in anyway. I do not have any cartoon character or animated series to my name. Sheesh!

If only I could draw like Jim Davis or Charles Schulz! I cannot even draw a straight line, much less cut a loaf of bread with nice slices. It always end up crooked!

But I do have some typical things I do.

I wake up like clockwork at 4am nightly as my moronic Electrical Lord will send me text messages. If he is not away in a different time zone, he must be having insomnia. Truth is, he starts his work day at 1.30pm. I start  my work day at 7am!

He is in UK now and he does not give me any slack or consider that I am fast asleep. [Gripe 1 :-D]

My typical day is meeting idiots at work. Can I avoid them? I try and learn every guerilla tactic to avoid these morons at work. Includes hurdling across the room when I scent them some ways off, but batteries excluded 😉

I must learn never to send any text messages to Ms 17 years of Service as once I get her started, she will reply with no end in sight. A barrage of messages will flood my device.

It seems she enjoys what’s app so much that she must literally pee and poo with her handheld device with her.

My typical day would always see me ending the evening with a blog post. This is my sanity recharging station as I am able to bang a few words out of my key pads and say what is on my itty bitty little mind.

Today, my atypical day starts with me having the ability to spare the time to write two posts. Yes, I have a struggle ahead.

A thief is amongst us and we lost $10,000 and counting. The men in uniform have been summoned and I have heaps of enquiries to conduct and what we call “damage control”

Sigh….what a humdrum atypical day…..frazzled nerves soon! I shall update this evening if I am not caught up in the thieves’ den! 🙂

Or maybe I can sell this to the makers of James Bond movies and turn it into a best seller in Hollywood.

It only happens in Hollywood…or maybe Bollywood too…except I do not know which star can play me?

Any suggestions? 😀 😀

 

 

 

Cope Or Challenge….Buzz Words

In days of yore….people tend to say, “back in my days” – but I realize I am not old enough to be Churchill or Roosevelt or any great bard ha ha 😉

In management these days, the new buzz word is no longer….we face challenges or a matter is “challenging” BUT how does one COPE!

We learn of coping skills.

Aargh…first it was all this talk of positivity. We do not utter words like “difficult” or we are facing any “difficulty” or “difficulties” – we use “challenges” – life’s challenges! So much so, it is very much a cliché statement!

So a new guru came about and said that we should all stand up and face our challenges and difficulties face on! Yup as if like Nicholas Cage in FACE OFF, and I do not mean we must all go for plastic surgery to have our faces changed LOL!

COPE….in HR jargon, we talk of how does one COPE!

We learn of coping skills.

If any Lord berates anyone….we say, COPE!

How much can one cope really?

Not a whole lot I feel.

Imagine if you will, if you are in my shoes….

I cope by getting up earlier to start my work day earlier to COPE with the workload. Coping does not help when the volume of work increases and job scope and depth expands.

It is the case of I pay you $1, I milk you for $5.

Herein lies my new wisdom….plain truth!

I inform candidates lining up for a job FACE OFF with me. I speaketh the truth. I tell them how morbid our work place is and how bad our culture is and if you COPE, you will be rewarded!

Reward in the heavenly realm and not physical realm…tongue in cheek I would say. My scare tactic but it never works as the truth is, if one can survive here, one can survive anywhere.

But I will stop short of coping in the moment of grief or grave illness.

I learnt coping skills. I call my life as a challenge and self a challenging patient to my panel of surgeons as many would not touch me with a 10 foot pole! I am sometimes a leper in my own colony, minus the leprosy.

But errm…once I spout my medical intricacies, each potential white coat guy would bypass me lest they get sued for malpractice LOL!

Hmm…maybe the white coat guy in Bellevue will welcome me with open arms and give me first class service as whenever any medical doctor cannot find logic in a medical condition, it was easier to stamp their inadequacies and label the patient…”loony” bin.

I often awe my doctors with sardonic evil sarcasm and plant the seeds of maybe I am cuckoo but not quite yet flying over the cuckoo’s nest yet 😀

The great medical men in white coat would always laugh at me and say, “hardly, you do have an ailment and a serious one too” – dang it! Always serious and never mild.

Aaahh well…..new buzz words come and new buzz words will go…for now, let’s all face our challenges and ills with coping skills.

May our coping mechanisms be razor sharp and witty….may laughter and mindful insanity prevail so that we can laugh at ourselves, laugh at the world and with the world.

This is my panacea of ills….laughter is the best medicine and no one can ever overprescribe it! Trust me….you will live, painfully or ridiculously…but you will live 😀

Happy Hump Day folks….

 

Happy Happy Happy New Year 2016

New Year is around the corner!

Literally it is 2 days to the grand ol’ 1st January 2016!

How do people in my little red dot celebrate New Year’s eve?

We have the same ol’ same ol’ countdown and hundreds of thousands of dollars go up in smoke…..erm I do not mean they burn money notes but fireworks!!

Fireworks is banned in Singapore. Fire and health hazards and so, only under controlled circumstances, fireworks are released by our military boys!

Though I must admit that the “daring” expatriate community do “steal” a few and release on the sly 😉

Sentosa, an island resort of ours, will have its usual foam party.

I remember when I first met Bird, she told me she almost drowned in the foam and a knight in shining armour saved her! Ha ha😂😂😂, yet silly Bird missed connecting with her Prince Charming. He disappeared into the crowd.

I mused to self….”death by foam” would look really novel on a death certificate 😆

Zouk out parties are extinct as the owners of Zouk has sold this party place to a Hong Konger. Zouk was the rage in Jiak Kim Street as it was the “in” or “happening” watering hole.

Some would celebrate mass or attend church service. Others get together for BBQs and brave the rains.

Others would go overseas for a short trip to make full use of the long weekend.

As for me….I will spend time with mum and dad. I am not in the partying mood and want to spend whatever time I can spare with my parents.

Like all, one can have only one mum and one dad that is genetically linked. I want to do my best to spend my days out of hospital or Bates Motel with them.

I might get into mischief after…as I may want to explore roads I have never explored.

After that, I would like to dress my inanimate furball Garfield in new togs and hug him tightly as I watch the gogglebox for movies on the rerun and dive into my new volume of crosswords.

Here’s wishing all my dear sweet and kind readers a new 2016 year filled with good health, prosperity, happiness, joy and peace.

May the joy of family time surround all.

May the Fed not hike interest rates.

May the greenback do not get adjusted too much.

May the Chinese economy drive the world economy as they buy more Louis Vuitton bags or Prada shoes.

Most importantly we all continue to have roofs over our heads, loads of good food on table and a stable job less filled with aggro and angst!

Happy new year 2016 folks! Cheers and thank you for reading my blog posts daily 😀

Thank you….thank you!

Neighbors

There is a lovely Chinese saying that says at home we rely on family and outside of home, we rely on good neighbors.

This is indeed true for my sister who now lives in New Zealand, away from family and relies on good friends or neighbors for support.

She has made good friends with a Malaysian and a Philippine family.

Like the kindly magi, they brought gifts of food and poinsettias to my sister for Christmas!

Indeed a true spirit of the Christmas is shared!

Aren’t the poinsettias pretty!!

Pickles or we call “achar” of carrots, cucumber and cabbage in vinegarette with spicy chilli paste!

Home made tiramisu cake!!

Cupcakes with festive decor!

Lucky her!!😀

New Year Resolutions?! Bahh!!

I hear people around me staking their new year resolution lists. Really?! You think they can do it?

I resolve not to do this or that….hmm..between you and me, it will never happen!

Aaarrggh!! I give you examples…

“I resolve not to put on weight”.

Errm…but put on weight they certainly did. Blame it on the cheese cake they moan….or that chocolate cake was to diieee for! 😉

Frankly, we are a foodie nation..near impossible I would say!

“I resolve to stop smoking” says my colleagues.

I can still smell their smoker’s breath despite sucking on fresh mints or Mentos or any minty sweets.

Mind is weak, cigarettes their addiction.

So everyone has a list….a Herculean task to achieve I feel.

I stopped putting up a New Year’s resolution list of unrealistic epic proportions.

Instead I put up a more fun, realistic and achieveable list.

1. I resolve to hug my inanimate furball Garfield more often (*This is definitely achieveable)

2. I resolve to set aside X dollars to donate to my favorite charity. Not many zeroes as I ain’t on Forbes list but some dollars. (*This is my feel good moment of giving back)

3. I resolve to stop complaining more than 5 times about my Electrical Lord a day to myself! (*This is a challenge…but sigh…I will try)

4. I resolve to stop being snappish to morons and idiots at work or people whom I thought deserve it. (*key words are “I thought”) – technically they deserve it really!!😂

5. I resolve to put on lesser weight since impossible not to put on weight. I would have to starve and eat 1,000 calories a day. 1,500 calories is a treat! Sigh!😣

6. I resolve to stop and chat more to the migrant workers on the road and try to bring them food if I can manage groceries. All I need to do is collect canned food or biscuits for them.

7. I resolve to be kinder to my ex boyfriend, keeping a civil tongue in emails or whats app messages! But frankly he deserves all my brick bats as he was not too kindly to me when I was fighting for my life. Hmm…how do I find empathy and compassion…unless the God of Forgiveness appear before me to state his case! ha ha!! Or a case of till hell freezes over!😂

7. I resolve to try sleeping at least 7 hours a day. Currently am surviving on 6 hours and will need to cut down work hours!😨

All other resolutions, I will not even attempt.

Unachievable or unrealistic?

In my case….both really!!

Have fun making your resolutions and may you achieve them!

Good luck!!🍀🍀🍀

Fowl Scratches

Back in Kindergarten, I learnt how to write my ABCs.

To begin with, I am a south paw and naturally, my handwriting leaves much to be desired.

Still, I painstakingly took effort to complete all my writing assignments till secondary school. It was an arduous task I assure you. Not easy! 😉

Thankfully the computer was invented and these days, with handheld devices, I am spared of writing and whatever I write is readable, unlike fowl scratches of yore! 😂

I now need not write and at most, sign off on cheques or credit card imprints.

Should I take meeting notes, my note book is indeed a series of scrawls, not in anyway different than chicken scratches on barren ground.

It is good in a way as my writing cannot be deciphered by anyone other than self.

Like espionage work, my notes are clearly for my eyes only.

Over the years, my writing has become worst as my arthritic fingers make it hard to grasp a pen or writing implement.

Often times, I have no strength to grip a pen or pencil.

I resort to memorising notes and move on to reproducing them after using a keyboard and a laptop hooked to a printer or convert to PDF format to email.

I guess I cannot write a save self note if I am captured and thought of leaving notes for help to get me. Hmm….

I admire those who command great penmanship.

Glorious loops on letters L, O or P.

Beautifully written cursive letterings or italicised words does make a letter look more romantic.

Hmm maybe I was a mad professor in last life hence my poor handwriting. It is often said that a doctor’s handwriting is awful.

Hardly true anymore as I have seen some of my surgeons’ handwriting and they look very neat and pretty.

Fowl scratches….mere fowl scratches and I can visualise my teachers whining away at how I write these days….fowl scratches!!😀

Pay For Pain

Today was my appointment for my great white pearlies to be attended to.

Dr Chua my trusty dental surgeon is always chipper and in the spirit of the yuletide spirit presented me with a golden nugget of Ferrero Rocher.

He is a humorous man and takes great delight in raking through tooth after tooth in my mouth, till I get a bloodied mouth.

I asked where is the Garfield to hug as I would clench my hands when he stokes the pearlies.

In his booming voice he would say, “bring yours since you have many. It would be their staycation at the clinic”

Ya right!! My precious babies…inanimate furballs in a dental clinic!! No way Jose!!

We would chat about family, job etc.

He advised me that in jobs, there is always one or two political idiots. If I was not busy, he said I should get worried as boss would not pay me to do nothing! He has a point!

In dental jargon, Dr Chia begins root planning, followed by application of varnish to my pearlie whites.

It smells like super glue really but it appeases the painful teeth and gums.

“Pray tell what’s wrong” I would ask.

In simple lay man terms, Dr Chua explained it was like a paper cut. Harmless but it hurts.

Varnish helps to assuage the pain.

Autoimmune disease ravages my gums as the lack of saliva actually wreaks havoc in my gums and mouth.

Normally people visit the dentist twice a year. I do mine every 3 months though I brush my teeth 2 to 3 times a day!😣

I would be rinsing blood out of my mouth from all that scraping Dr Chua does and gargling chlorohexidine after to bring the inflammation down.

I feel like Countess Dracula after supping on a vein and rinsing out residual blood😊

In a week, the pain would subside and in a month, new tartar and plaque would form as there is a lack of saliva.

3 months later, the whole cycle would reprise.

Dr Chua shared that he has 2 young nieces living in California and 5 young nieces in Singapore.

The 2 nieces live in an environment that sees gun toting people and their school was shut after recent shootings. Nothing like safe Singapore he said. I agree.

My dental treatment cost me $299.50.

Reasonable, considering Dr Chua spent 45 minutes on my jaw of pearlies, varnishing enamel, scraping every tooth and spraying lemony brine to soothe my sore gums.

I ought to be grateful for my pearlies intact.

I left with 4 bottles of chlorohexidine, 2 Systema toothbrushes and 2 tubes of Colgate sensitive pro relief toothpaste.

See you in 3 months’ Dr Chua!

I will be back to pay for suffering and pain 😉

Boxing Day Laugh