Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Laugh…2017 Is Around The Corner

Advertisements
7 Comments »

Best Method To Get Children Home To Visit During Holidays

โ€‹An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says,
“I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage… and that much misery is enough!”
“Dad, what are you talking about?” the son yells.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the old dad explained. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!”.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.
“Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”
She calls her elderly father immediately, and screams at him, “You are not getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, you hear me?” she yelled as she hung up the phone. 
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay”, he says, “it’s all set. They’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own air-fare.”

5 Comments »

2017….Just Having A Blast…

With thanks to Paws Inc who drew my inanimate furball with best pal Pooky his bear wishing all a healthy, happy, good work place bosses and colleagues plus all important wealth.

I am battling day 3 of my cough and am down with bronchitis. Could hardly breathe today…gasping for air like a goldfish out of water.

What a way to start 2017!

I really must have a word with supreme deity…sheesh..

Can supreme deity stop punishing me by ravaging my health and work life!! Meal ol’ fart! ๐Ÿ˜‚

Bird sent me her new year wishes..

I told Bird she is a terrorist bird…can’t get it, shoot it! Ha ha!

Flo, my good friend sent me her wishes. She and God gets on famously well..

“God is walking from door to door depositing success and good health. He has just left my home and asked me who He could go to next. I directed Him to your house. Receive His light and grace to finish and enter 2017 in Jesus name. but don’t keep Him in your house. Send Him to those you love and want to see succeed.”
For me, my 2017 bucket list!

Till my next post….I need to vaccum my lungs, trot down to see my trusty doc when he returns on 3 Jan 17 (*he is a good man, sending me doctoring care from afar in his vacation spot)

I am ever so grateful to Jim Davis for giving me my inanimate furball Garfield to give me and all wp readers warm snuggly Garfield hugs to ring in the new year!

7 Comments »

Best Prescription Of Any Doctor

Better than my Cravits antibiotics, Danzen, Piroxicam and Panadol ๐Ÿ˜‰

7 Comments »

I Never Knew…..

7 Comments »

2017

I am not going to prescribe nor share new year resolutions. These do not work for cynical me.

2016 was a bad year for me and to those whose lives Grim Reaper took. RIP Debbie Reynolds!

It was particularly bad for actors,singers or stars as the Grim Reaper took many of them, including yesterday’s latest victim; Debbie Reynolds, mother of Carrie Fischer.

Will 2017 be better?

Economically, nope! The world is in a pretty bad place right now. Obama not making it easy for Trump and souring alot of economic ties.

Oil & gas sectors are depressed. Marine and shipping followed suit.

Retail will go down the drain too as shoppers are looking but not buying as much.

I will start a new career in 2017. 

A firm offer from Dragon Lady of which I have penned off on the dotted line but waiting for 2 other options; “Holy People” and “Dying People” – all from non profit organisations.

This must be a sign from the supreme beings, telling me to serve from heart and not based on wages.I am figuring it out.

My greatest wish in 2017 is for genuine friendships. 

I cannot stomach any more fake friends who sidle up to me for business or network connections.

I know that in life, it is about “mutual use” – the stark reality of untrue friendships.

But what is real or fake these days?

I really hang my head down in sadness as I do not know. I have been disappointed with “friends”

I just want to do no harm, do my best to carry on to make a difference to people whose lives I can help or better.

I seek to be tolerant, patient and less sarcastic to imbeciles like Mr EX or people who have hidden agendas.

Whilst I try to look for the goodness in people, I must also be savvy enough to tell the difference.

What I do know and will not change is to continue to hug my inanimate furball Garfield to bits, laugh and manage lemony episodes in life and conquer those silly challenges in a journey I call my life.

Life sucks! Especially when one is not well off or facing workplace persecutions. 

But I am happy now, as I am free of a truly evil person ha ha!

Cheers and onward ho to a better 2017 and stop taking anymore stars from earth. Leave them alone….let us live in peace happily.

Happy new year wp readers and friends. May 2017 bring each of you love, peace, joy, prosperity and happiness!

Garfield hugs!

22 Comments »

Managing Woman


Hope this helps a man in managing a woman๐Ÿ˜‰

1 Comment »

Laundry Instructions

โ€‹A woman was unhappy with the way her laundry was done at the local Chinese Laundry, so she wrote a note and put it in the bag with the next collection of soiled clothes: “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!”

She got the clean laundry back, and was still dissatisfied with the results, so the following week she enclosed another note: “USE MORE SOAP ON PANTIES!”

The Chinese laundryman became very annoyed, and when her clean laundry was delivered, it contained a note from HIM: “I USE PLENTY SOAP ON PANTIES!!! USE MORE PAPER ON ASS!!”

3 Comments »

Meanwhile At The White House….

1 Comment »

And So The Story Goes #49

Mr EX has been silent all over Christmas period, till my phone rang this afternoon when I was trying to nap.

He wanted to know if I was accepting the job offer of Dragon Lady.

It would seem he had finished celebrating Christmas with his family and he realised “oops! Forgot to check in on Garfield Hug!”

I feel so “used” and that he is a selfish person!

ME

“I am considering options. I have another invitation to an interview at “Dying” who called me today.

MR EX

“Holy people” how? Why are you still looking? I stuck my neck out for you.”

ME

“I am sick at home. My fever is raging at 38.6C”

NOTE1

I had to be selfish for self as I want best options considering the awful Electrical Lord I had. Dragon Lady was to me, like a similar pot of dramas awaiting me. My fear! Mr EX has to give me time to consider all options that come my way. He does not understand and got upset with me. I disliked him trying to force his will on me and that I must be beholden to him!

MR EX

“Did you see the doctor?”

NOTE2

I doubted Mr EX cared. He asked for the sake of asking and I know it. So I needled him. He did nor offer to take me to the doctor.

ME

“So are you calling to make time for sick Garfield?”

MR EX

“When you stop throwing your trantrums, I may find  peace, fortitude and resilience to have tea with you. Working now”
ME

“Tantrums????”

MR EX

“Joking la! Typhoons”

ME

“Typhoons occur when hot air collides with cold air. So you stop blowing hot air (*pretending to care) and cold air (*nonchalance and uncaring)”

MR EX

“Man who pats your horse’ flatulence is not worth the gas”
NOTE 2

MR EX has now effectively riled me! What the heck is he talking about?

ME

“For once, can you not speak simply. You feel unappreciated? Or my gas deserves a better man than you?”
MR EX

“Your gas will always man or beast near, far, or afar . 

Last message. 

Some men have to work”

NOTE3

Clueless and I was tired and agitated as his English made no sense. So I re-forwarded his message telling him it was incomplete and made no sense.

MR EX

“Working n not thinking are not mutually exclusive”
NOTE4

His usual crap about busy working.

Grrr!! I hate it when he gives me meangingless messages.

I am reminded why I did not end up with him!! Grr!

12 Comments »