Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

An Epiphany Of Sorts

on July 25, 2017

When the logical becomes illogical, I logically ask self to reflect and think!๐Ÿค”

Think I did and I had an epiphany of sorts, on 2 fronts.๐Ÿ˜‡

I was wallowing in self-pity, actually not really โ€“ I was angry as to why I keep getting Lords from hell from last 3 jobs and why was I consistently bypassed for several top of the class jobs when it seemed I had it in the bag!

Educationally and experience wise, I met the criteria. At each potential wooing session, I wowed! Yet why did I fail?๐Ÿค”Big Frowns!

It then dawned upon me that I am one person who always worked like a dog. Top ranking jobs needed a lot of my focus and attention. My entire life thus far has been dedicated to the corporate ladder that sapped me of a life, other than work. 

I would slave from 7am till midnight and the vicious cycle continues. I oversaw companies with more than 1,000 employees (at my peak 8,000 employees) and the responsibilities were heavy! I worked 24/7 across Europe, Africas, Americas and Asia.

I looked back and realized that even my surgeons noticed this when I was in hospital. Dr James actually spied on me and text me once to ask why were there so many people in my room when I should be resting! Tongue in cheek, I told him I was holding a management meeting.

Dr Chan once had to tell the ward sister to stop letting faxes come through the ward fax from work for me.

So, I realized that the reason why I was having hellish Lords was to get me to leave the job and rest, relax and chill out.

Since I will not willingly back down on any job offer, the divine forces do it for me โ€“ they stopped potential employers from offering me a top job.

I need a no brainer type of job or one that allows me to leave on the dot when each day is up. This is what I now have with Submarine Lord.

It may not pay all my bills, much less offer me savings but it is a way to stop me from slavery as a minion. It does not starve me but gives me a little to subsist on, after paying bills.

I need the time to heal, rest and relax โ€“ smile the roses and enjoy leisurely things. Last Saturday, I realized that my gut had been a messโ€ฆmedically a problem that I forgot all about till the clinic nurse reminded me!

The above is my first epiphany!

My second epiphany is that my dad is getting old and with age comes forgetfulness. My parents are not the sort to be comfortable with live in help and so, I think I have to fill this gap.

Since neither bro nor sis would return to help (* their self-centered brain cannot function outside of the country they live in), both will not and cannot be around to assist. I have come to realize that both do not want the responsibilities but welcome the financials once both parents depart for the heavenly realm.

My second realization is that without a tough demanding job I can have time to fulfil my dutiful role as a daughter to care for my aged parents. I will also have time to breathe and focus on my own sanity and health.

Even if it means taking them out for walks, dinners or meals or doing something โ€“ it is a small way of being there for them when the other two ignores. Dad is now realizing that his two favorites have largely abandoned him and will only return to collect the cheque when the will is read. But he still prefers them over me, sigh!

True or false? Views are welcomeโ€ฆmeanwhile I am forced to plan for early retirement and my life goes onโ€ฆ.like it or not, it has to go onโ€ฆ..

 *Sorry to innundate your reader with an extra post and I had a eureka moment that I now have to deal with.

I have to stopfighting the Gods!!



20 responses to “An Epiphany Of Sorts

  1. calmkate says:

    my previous comment just as you posted this gives you my response ..

    I have no idea of your age but here once one is over 50, well qualified and capable then others are very threatened .. employers prefer minions that they can control/dominate and a capable qualified employee usually has their own way of doing things … sounds like you might be approaching your employment used by date ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Slow down, smell the roses, you can pay the bills .. sure help your parents but they are NOT your life .. find something for YOU, or do you need the gods to batter you some more?

    • Garfield Hug says:

      My kind intelligent Calmkate is correct!๐Ÿ˜ƒ I am told by good friends that I am far too intelligent for my boots and yes, a threat to non working lazy buggers. I think what is pressing now is for me to find self, chill and heal ha ha!

  2. I said it was just a matter of giving yourself space to breathe and prioritise, help but also heal. ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ’•

  3. I also had this dilemma a while ago. A stable job job is good and all, but the stress isn’t worth it for me. While earning money is a lot harder for me now, I’m a lot happier.

    Just do what you think is right but think about it carefully.

  4. The V Pub says:

    It’s suggested that we should slow down to smell the roses. I never thought much of it until I got sucked up in the corporate world. It’s true – we need the time to back off of the hustle and bustle of careers and take time to see the beauty around us.

    • Garfield Hug says:

      Thanks for sharing your views! Do it Rob! Don’t end up like me. Stop and take it easy…take care my friend and Garfield hugs!๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ

  5. My Greatest Gift life gave to me was giving me a severe back injury wherein I lost everything I knew my life to be. And I mean everything. At that time, I was not a happy person, oh believe you me! I was ripped asunder from every angle and bed bound not walking for almost 2 years. Yet this “opportunity” afforded me to get out of corporal America, see who my real friends were (not many), start fixing me on all levels (THAT is a book!), and most importantly, create a world for me I wanted for me according to me. I’ve learned how to be “selfish” by putting myself first, yet within the world I created I have tons of responsibilities for others who look to me for their wellbeing. I work hard, I play hard, and LOVE my life and I just will no longer compromise who I am or what I created for anything in this world. Sounds to me like you are at a junction where you can make some pretty BIG decisions. FOLLOW YOUR HEART even if that scares the pants off of you. You will not regret it. BIG HUGS!!! ๐Ÿ’ž

    • Garfield Hug says:

      Amy, thank you for weighing in. I know about spinal injury as I have 10 surgical implants, titanium rods and plates to boot. That first step to start working was tortorous. Yet, I soldiered on, working long hours in corporal Singapore. I need to let go and move on in a semi retired mode as in taking a small job. I am truly tired…physically and mentally. I have not begun to make steps to love self or my life. I truly want to do my PhD. And yes…it is a scary next stage๐Ÿ˜ฑ
      Thanks for your advice of which I deeply appreciate. Garfield hugs๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

      • Garfield, you know that I know the best support and the best advice is from someone who has walked your shoes. I may not have the injury to your extent but through *my* journey of gaining the use of my legs back, and all that entailed, I discovered after many many years of discipline and healing, I could say without doubt I do love myself. I respect myself. I am in awe of all of what I have accomplished and still am accomplishing. I’m done pleasing other people and this world. And I don’t give a fig if others don’t like me or don’t get me. My true friends know me, those who accept me love me, and that is all that matters to me. I was SO ambitious at one time, full of ego and pride for I was at the top of that hospital I worked in and I was the best of the best to boot. All that came crashing down to flames and embers leaving me with nothing. And out of that ash I found me. So can you!!! BIG HUGS!!!! ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—

        • Garfield Hug says:

          AmyRose๐ŸŒน, we are sojourners in our respective journeys and I understand your journey too. I am proud of your achievements and finding self. Before I read this, I felt like I failed in my life. Many things I worked for has come to naught. But what is soothing for me is that in the world of volunteers helping the elderly or elderly unemployed, I feel worthy as I see their toothless smiles or laughs. Many people do not get me and so I laugh. The truckload of lemons have been coming to me for the last 2 decades and the amount of lemony stuff I have made to overcome is soothed by my self found mode to laugh. I admire your tenacity and will soldier on as you rose like a Phoenix. Together and with others in our situation, I am encouraged. My journey in life has been very tough. Many a time, I do want to cash in my chips as how much can anyone physically bear the pain of repeated surgeries and all the lemons life dished out. Thank you for sharing and encouraging me on. Garfield Hugs๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿพ๐Ÿพ

          • Honey, as I see it the world at large will see you as a failure IF you don’t do what is “expected”. According to the world and many people I am a failure yet I have a HAPPY heart and LOVE my life. Is that a failure? Nope. Do I have millions in the bank? Nope. Do I have a lucrative career? Nope. Am I famous? Nope. But am I happy? OH YES!!! And about cashing in those chips …. been there and still at times go through it. What’s the point, I ask sometimes? I live in chronic pain and some days …. grrrrrrr …..Just hang in there and you create your life the way YOU want it to be. ๐Ÿช๐Ÿท๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒˆ๐ŸŒน๐Ÿค—

  6. bjaybrooks says:

    I, almost, began working, again, after retirement. It was another management position…and very stressful.

    I decide that my retirement income would be enough and that I wanted a few years, if possible, of peace.

    I am thinking of you, my friend. ๐Ÿ˜Š

  7. jackcollier7 says:

    Quitting a job that was killing me was surprisingly hard for me to do. Obviously it was the very best thing I’ve ever done. โค

    • Garfield Hug says:

      Thanks Jackcollier – it seems I am not alone in this difficult time and yes, I am finding it very difficult. I am glad to hear the positives after and will do my best to assess my situation. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. Amy says:

    It’s a hard decision to make, Garfield! So many factors to consider, also the health benefits…

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