Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Reflections Amidst A Chaotic Mind

on July 27, 2017

Reflections……peace…..tranquility or serenity…these are words that I truly hope to embrace over time.

It has been very quiet as my only distractor of life or pet peeve, Mr EX, is no longer a haunting. I suppose the poltergeist has been snuffed! LOL! Or the Gods feel that I needed to gear up for bigger things in life.

Mr EX’s promise of having me work on a farm in Down Under has also fallen through as I exorcised him out of my life!

This is good as I ensured peace and quiet by blocking him in my apps as well as on my android phone.

I must not be unfair to him as sometimes, he did kindly things though I felt it came with an ulterior motive. The last time we met, he was upset with me that I did not introduce him to meet Duke of Yore.

I would be insane to link the 2 of them up as decorum is expected at all times. Bringing loose cannon into any meeting would be hara kiri for myself really!

I feel less tense in that I need not drop everything at his behest and do the things he needs when he wants it or how he wants it. My life is more planned this way I feel.

Dad has me worried as the geriatrician has confirmed he has mild cognitive impairment, which is the stage before dementia and I feel he will degrade quickly as he refuses to help self by being active or go out for walks. I feel his selfishness at making it hard for me, his only care giver in time to come.

It is hard to try and get someone going when that someone refuses to get going himself.

Dad has always been lazy and he is served like a lord most times by mum. He hardly want to do anything except take long naps in the afternoon even when I remember as a child.

I am unsure if he is just having a bout of apathy or too lazy? I feel it is the latter and so does his geriatrician. In fact he got a ticking from his doctor when I shared that despite me getting him puzzle books, he refused to do it. On my suggestion that perhaps I ought to get him coloring books perhaps it may be better?

This was when the ticking off came from the doctor!

“Given your education, it will be beneath you to be doing coloring!”

This comment fell like water off a duck’s back for my dad. Oblivious or cannot be bothered.

My dad has never bothered to do things for me as a child. Most of my care was done by mum. In fact when I was hospitalized year on year, he would not have visited me if it was not for my mum.

I am trying to logically put things in perspective for self.

Perhaps my inability to find a good boss with a high profile job was because I would have a stroke if I had to deal with a demented dad, cope with stressors at work and exacerbate my autoimmune issues.

Perhaps this small role with Submarine Lord was to give me the peace to manage a small role, have some money and plan to be challenged by providing care for my dad and for my mum when she gets older.

Life has its reasons and till I find my reason for living, I will have to plod on and find humor whilst enduring the challenges ahead.

I just hope that my left leg will behave and not require surgery. I have had 2016 free from Bates Motel and I do not intend to start again in Bates Motel any time soon LOL!

 

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27 responses to “Reflections Amidst A Chaotic Mind

  1. Good morning! 🍵🍪🍪🍵
    Yes, it’s worrying when they start showing signs and simply won’t help themselves either..my partner is like that. There’s nothing you can do apart from be there, but don’t forget to take time for yourself too..💕😺xxx

  2. calmkate says:

    I sincerely pray he does have the type of dementia where aggression and wandering become a real issue … but hopefully you have specialised care for these in Singapore

    what are you doing for yourself .. hobby, interest, please stop procrastinating ..

  3. Thanks for sharing your thoughts .Make sure you have time to enjoy things you like doing!

  4. AmyRose🌹 says:

    Slow and steady, Garfield. I too a dealing with an older parent who will not do much to help herself. I’ve long learned to accept this and I thank goodness I am not the caregiver. Nope. No advice from me either is heard by said caretaker so I roll with the punches and let things go. I extend BIG HUGS your way today!! Smile and be HAPPY! 😎🌈🤗

  5. mistermuse says:

    Sorry to say, people usually don’t change — they are what they are, no matter how old they get. Thus you’re going to have to deal with your dad and sis as they are, but I like calmkate’s idea of forcing your sister’s hand and see what happens. You probably (or should I say, hopefully) have nothing to lose!

    Good luck! 🙂

  6. Garfield Hug says:

    Thanks Mistermuse! I could try and will need to ensure he does not get abandoned at NZ airport! 😉

  7. Virginia says:

    After taking care of both of my parents, be sure to make sure that you take time to do something for yourself each week. And if your father descends into dementia, remember it’s a disease – don’t take any bizarre behavior personally! Garfield hugs!💜 😎🤗😎💜

    • Garfield Hug says:

      Agree on your advice! Dementia is a bad disease that robs one of dignity and self respect. It is sad that I pray that my dad’s condition remains stable for as long as it possibly can to give quality of life 😊. Thanks for sharing as I am now trawling internet to learn and know as much.

      • Virginia says:

        My papa was a bedfast quadriplegic (sharp as a tack til he breathed his last!) but my Mama suffered from dementia. A friend gave me a book “The 36-Hour Day” (by Nancy Mace & Peter Rabins) that was a helpful resource. 🙄🤗🙄

      • Garfield Hug says:

        Ohh I am sorry to hear that. You must have been brave to carry all that duty of care. I am grateful for your share and will look for that book. Have been trawling internet to learn more about dementia and how to manage it. 🤗🤗☺

  8. Paula says:

    Don’t take your father’s stubbornness personally. I experienced it with my mom. It’s their way of holding onto independence to an extent. “I’m 80 years old! No one is going to tell ME what to do.” 😁

  9. Mr. Mel says:

    Why me? This must be a question you as many others have asked themselves from time to time. The answer I keep getting is “why not you”. It is a struggle to understand but the only conclusion I could come to was I am strong enough. Stay strong!🌹💐😘

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