Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

10 Commandments Of Marriage

on August 29, 2017

Commandment 1. 

Marriages are made in heaven. But so again are thunder and lightning. 
Commandment 2. 

If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. 
Commandment 3. 

Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand! 
Commandment 4. 

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. 
Commandment 5. 

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6. 

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 
Commandment 7. 

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. 
Commandment 8. 

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife. 
Commandment 9. 

Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste. 
Commandment 10.

A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.. 
Bonus Commandment story. 

A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. 
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, “It really works!”


30 responses to “10 Commandments Of Marriage

  1. michnavs says:

    Hahaha….i love this…

  2. Sarah says:

    Hahaha

  3. Here are 10 more.

    Marriage is like a walk in the park… Jurrasic Park.

    If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears.

    Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.

    Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree

    Marriage is a workshop… where the husband works and the wife shops.

    The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.

    Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

    Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers

    The most important four words for a successful marriage: β€˜I’ll do the dishes.’

    All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble

  4. samanthamurdochblog says:

    Lol! Just the laugh I needed! And join me in a celebratory afternoon tea having finally had the internet connection wire whatever fixed!! πŸ΅πŸ°πŸ΅πŸ°πŸ’•πŸ˜ΊπŸ’•πŸ˜Ί

  5. Mr. Mel says:

    Very clever, funny and loaded with truth. Thank you for sharing. 😊☺😁

  6. Great 10 commandments! πŸ˜‚

  7. Marry in Hastings, repent at Leicester … think I might have misheard that one!

  8. The wishing well…. Oh dear! 😧

  9. […] 10 Commandments Of Marriage β€” Garfieldhug’s Blog […]

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