Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

How To Cure Computer Addiction

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A Reality Check

The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate!”

He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?”

I said, “No, she’s an optician!”

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Wives Rule

Toilet is the zone where the arguments always begin.

Man will forever have no say!

Never talk back with smug remarks.

Morale of this post…to preserve the sanctity of your marriage, just remember 3 words…

Yes dear

No dear

Sorry dear

You will then live well and happy in congugal bliss

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Perils Of Buying A Foam Memory Mattress

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Dad’s Memory Test

I have to accompany my dad for his annual memory test to see if he has regressed further.

I took a day of unpaid leave to take him for this long drawn test and am sincerely hoping that he has not regressed. I will be happy if he maintains this level of forgetfulness.

But deep in my heart, I know he has regressed. He is lazy and refuses to do anything to help self.

He will not walk up to the fast food counter to get utensils and I have to be firm to make him do it. He does not wish to anything except eat and sleep! This is bad for the brain as the more the brain switches off, the more “brain loss” he will get!

He has never had gentlemanly qualities such that he could offer to help carry loads or help mum. I guess mum spoils him since marriage and created this lil Frankenstein of no gentleman like qualities but rather a male chauvinist who thinks women do the carrying.

The test will be a couple of hours and he will get cranky as he loves to eat and wile away time doing nothing. So, I will need to ensure he gets fed before and after the test which could take up to 3 hours.

Tonight is when I get to see the Duke of Yore for a charity golf event. Monkey Lord has booked a flight of golfers and will be playing in this event. I will see him for dinner tonight.

I serve on this council and will be there to lend support for dinner as I cannot golf and besides I need to accompany dad today.

I am trying hard to raise $200,000 for a special cause and Monkey Lord is kind enough to offer help so long as I make it as a company event. I will try my best as the funds can help people with special needs, marginalized or elderly needing support financially or fixing up things.

So after sending Dad home, I will need to dash off for my social work. It is good use of my unpaid leave day and I am glad to be meeting people as of late, all I do is work, eat dinner at ungodly hours and crash to bed to wake up at 6am to start all over again.

 

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When Did I First Hear Of YMCA?

I loved the Village People and their rendition of YMCA!!

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Ghost Festival Or 7th Month (Chinese Lunar Calendar) Is Around The Corner

The gates of Hades will open on 11 August 2018 and the spooks are granted one month of freedom till 10 September 2018 to wander through the earthly realm to visit friends and relatives.

According to Taoist belief, the living relatives of the dead will be busy making paper money offerings, joss sticks and food for the spooks.

This is when their beloved spooks stock up on goods and money as paper houses, aeroplanes, cars, maids and butlers, clothes, IT equipment are all made of paper and burnt as an offering.

Associations or groups will organise “getais” or a live show for these wandering spooks. Empty chairs for the front rows are reserved for the spooks to sit and enjoy.

Contractors or construction sites will usually be very serious about this 7th Month and will not break ground or commence works without proper prayers with monks chanting or serious offerings of all things suitable for the spooks.

People will organise chinese banquet style dinners and this will be followed by auctions.

It is believed that items such as a lump of charcoal when bid and won by bidder will bring the bidder massive good luck for the year.

Bids can run into tens of thousands of dollars for the bidder.

Passers by walking past lit candles and offerings of fruits or food by the walkways or kerb side will ensure they do not upset the spooks by accidentally kicking these items.

Yes….7th month…legends and folk lore a plenty and we respect the spooks as they walk amongst us.

My grandparents may be amongst them, including my late 3rd aunt and 3rd Uncle.

I wish all spooks a pleasant holiday ahead and catching up with their relatives.

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Silence

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Sunday Laughs

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Now We Know!!

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