Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Ermmm…Amazing Golf! – Friday Laughs!!

Two women were playing Golf.

One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a Foursome of Men playing the next hole.

The Golf-Ball directly hit one of the Men.

He immediately clasped his hands together at his Groin, he fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in
agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately
began to apologize. ‘Please allow me to help. I’m a
Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me, she told him.

‘Oh, No, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,’ the
man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side,
loosened his pants and put her hands gently inside.

She administered tender and artful massage for several
long moments and asked, ‘How does that Feel Now”..???

He replied:- “It feels Great, but I still think my Thumb’s Broken”…!

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Paddy Jokes

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Much Ado Over A Radio

This letter was sent to a School Principal’s office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you…

Dear All,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 87 years old and live at the Pine Tree Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away so I am all alone. I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown to a forgotten old lady…

My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but, she would never let me listen to it. She said it belonged to her long dead husband, and understandably, wanted to keep it safe.

The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a dozen pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I was totally overjoyed that I finally had the opportunity to tell her to buzz off…

Thank you for that wonderful opportunity.

God bless you all.

Sincerely,

Edna.

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Not Just Men, But Women Do Too!

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Lazy In Life

I sometimes feel that I am lazy in life.

I am lazy in trying to figure of what is next in life. Maybe it is because, too much planning gets me no where. I worked very hard all my life but sometimes I feel that I have little to show.

Yet, when I compare self with the less haves, it is not too bad.

But when I compare with the top notch, then it is bad.

So it is a case of comparatively speaking scenario.

I feel that I have arrived. I need not strive for more.

I am happy in my own skin, I sashay in togs that I am comfortable in and do not meet dress code standards except for when meeting Dukes or Duchess of Yore. Where I do not meet, I avoid Black Tie events.

I am not one for parading on any red carpet.

I am a quiet one and literally like to blend in with the walls.

I need no fanfare.

But I arrive in style…in my own style, often mistaken as the cook or handy person.

I don’t care!

At work, I do my job and keep a low profile.

I need not be getting along famously well with everyone.

I need to keep an arm’s length so that if I need to tick off anyone, I will can do so without remorse.

Ms Snooty asked me how do I sleep at night when I have to terminate the services of people or tick people off.

It is all in the job and in discharging my duties, I ensure I am objective and fair in assessing the talents of people under my charge. If they cannot be redeployed, then I really have no choice but to let them go.

I still feel I am lazy in life.

Should I be striving for that extra dollar?

Should I be seeking a mansion?

Should I be seeking a top job? *Note to self, been there, done that and the office politics “killed” me by sapping my humanity and compassion for people and life.

Should I be out there seeking a spouse or partner?

I have much given up on this as this person does not exist. It just manifests as MR EX – a money grabber and extremely dangerous man who will stop at nothing to achieve what he wants. Great for business but makes a poor life partner is my feel.

Yet, our karma intertwines us.

Yes, I am lazy in life and FAT! Sighhhh…

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So True

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Making Millions

I know this is a joke page, but I am asking everyone to wish me luck!! I am on my way to speak to the bank manager, and if things work out for me my life will be drastically changed….I’m talking millions here!!!
I am so excited I can barely get the stocking over my head!!😂😂👍

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My Garfield Collection

Part 1 of my entire Garfield collection of soft toys.

Part 2 of the heap of Garfield soft toys.

A porcelain money box of Garfield and Pooky – this was given to me by MR EX who found this during his travels. It is rather large and for him to lug it home by plane, as a hand carried item, I appreciated it very much.

I may be upset or distrusting of MR EX but I like to believe that deep down inside him, there is a being that does care or did care for me.

The assortment of Garfield pillows or cushions came from several different friends who found them being sold in Malaysia or at the gas stations that sometimes carry Garfield stocks as promotional items for a short period of a week or so.

The Garfield cake was ordered and sent to me by MR EX for one of my birthdays. The cake tasted horrible as it was meant to be an ornamental Garfield. The 3D images of Odie, Garfield and the bones and feeding bowls are handcrafted images made out of marzipan.

Above is a Part 3 of a photo shot of a part of my entire Garfield collection in a heap

Above and below photos are more Garfield photos that are in the cupboards, carefully wrapped.

Above and below is my favorite Garfield.

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Most Functional Word In English

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Wooing By Ship Lord – Good Or Bad?

It seems that I have economic worth left in work life as I got a call from Ship Lord as to if I was interested in joining them.

The “wooing” begins.

I am not unhappy here at Monkey Lord. Monkey Lord has been very nice thus far and Eunuch, despite his hissy fits is still acceptable. I just have to accept Eunuch’s ego and Money Bag’s idiosyncrasies and avoid contact with Money Bags where possible.

So, why do I bother?

I feel it is good to go and meet people; potential or otherwise as it smartens me and my work life horizon.

Ship Lord is not a good company on paper as they almost bellied up and with the downturn for shipping, but I am told they have found a White Knight.

So, I am piqued to know more.

In its hey days when the market was robust for oil and gas, marine and shipping, they were big boys. Now they have shrunk to become anchovies in an ocean. But perhaps with anchovies, we will never know as they are important.

This meeting of the Ship Lord takes place later this week and I guess I will just have to size up.

I do not wish to jump into an abyss of no return.

On the brighter side of things, I  have been busy as usual at work.

Ms Feisty is lost with the English language and looks at me in desperation. I will need her to brush up her English, both conversational and written. Her numeric skills are adequate and so she will be ok.

Ms Blur Like Sotong may be 23 years old but she has the loopy mind of a 90 year old. She is forgetful and requires me to remind her to read emails and process things in her head. She repeats audibly to me the instructions I tell her. I hear an echo whenever I speak LOL!

I have Ms Ajima overhearing our loopy conversations and bursting out into uncontrollable laughter each time. Yes, we provide entertainment to the others in the office who are seated near us.

Like I told Ms Ajima, if the 3 of us in my team loses their job here, we will be out as a comedy trio busking for funds on the streets and if lucky end up with our comedy slot on air.

Ahh well, it is another day at work! Another day of wages earned is my attitude.

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