Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Mourning The Loss Of Common Sense

on January 9, 2019

An Obituary printed in the London Times…..Absolutely Dead Brilliant!!
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
– Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
– Why the early bird gets the worm;
– Life isn’t always fair;
– And maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death,
-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers;
– I Know My Rights
– I Want It Now
– Someone Else Is To Blame
– I’m A Victim
– Pay me for Doing Nothing
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.


16 responses to “Mourning The Loss Of Common Sense

  1. You bet I am passing this on to everyone I know!

  2. There is a good allusion in Henry Fielding’s 1736 play ‘The Life and Death of Common Sense’, where Queen Ignorance, with the help of the learned professions (Law, Religion and Medicine) succeeded in murdering Queen Common Sense.

  3. […] via Mourning The Loss Of Common Sense — Garfieldhug’s Blog […]

  4. A most excellent article. I am glad to know I am not entirely alone in my thoughts. Nice to meet you.

  5. Hammad Rais says:

    This is utterly brilliant.

  6. I couldn’t agree more. Wonderfully satirical and truthful words. You’ve made my day.

  7. Lynn Simpson says:

    Just received this today from a woman I met from Sydney while on a tour of India. All my friends in Scotland will love it and agree with it. Thanks

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