Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Ending Friday Night With A Worthy Chuckle Or Two!

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be
here soon” Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

“Good morning, madam. I’ve come to….”
“Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,” Mrs. Smith cut in.
“Really?” the photographer asked. “Well, good. I’ve made a speciality of
babies”
“That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat”

After a moment, she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”
“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
fun too; you can really spread out!”
“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry and me”
“Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different
angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results”
“My, that’s a lot of…..” gasped Mrs. Smith.
“Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with that, I’m sure”
“Don’t I know it,” Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures.
“This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London”
“Oh my God!” Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
“And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with”
“She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Smith.
“Yes, I’m afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get
a good look”
“Four and five deep?” asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
“Yes,” the photographer said, “And for more than three hours too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in.”
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. “You mean squirrels actually chewed on your,
um……equipment?”
“That’s right. Well, madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my tripod so we
can get to work.”
“Tripod?????”
“Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big for
me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ……. Good Lord, she’s
fainted!!”

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748

748 days I have posted non stop.

748 days is around 2.05 years and I have been diligently posting daily for 748 days.

A feat?

An addiction?

A joy?

A vent I used?

WordPress is a fun place and each post I write gives me much happiness as relieve as it allows me to vent and or get things off my chest when I have a lot to say.

It also helps me with constantly using English and stringing words together to form a story line. I studied English from kindergarten and to me, it is my first language. But then, actually, my mother tongue is supposedly Mandarin.

I am not good at Mandarin. I am fairly conversant in Bahasa to make small talk and get by.

I think and write in English whereas those who are strong in Mandarin use Mandarin to translate to English they wish to write in and this causes a difference in syntax as Mandarin is always the other way round and one can tell.

I watched a documentary recently on dementia and was alarmed to hear that a 48 year old suffered from dementia.

I do not wish to have a brain full of mush and come what may, I must use my brain to the fullest!

So, I am counting daily posts – WordPress calls it a “streak” – I call it prevention of being a freak! A mindless freak!

Ah well it is lunch time Friday and I am not complaining as I am having a breather posting this.

If you are where you are at and having lunch, enjoy!

If you are where you are at and having supper, enjoy!

If you are where you are at and having breakfast, enjoy!

if you are where you are at and having dinner, enjoy!

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By The Bye…

As the weekend rolls by,

I bid Friday good bye.

The work week has quickly rolled by,

People tend to bid “hi” and “bye”.

I had an interesting week of sorting out warring humans.

Human relations are funny. We all co-exist at work, yet why all the angst and animosity?

It begins with mindset I feel. If one is not open to a spirit of cooperation and sharing then work becomes silo based.

The art of tai chi then comes into play and by tai chi, in our colloquial usage it means “deflecting” work.

There are some with the mentality of why bother explaining to newbie as it takes too much time and so, it remains forever the job of one person. Perhaps it is territorial protection to ensure job longevity so that no new comers can come unto one’s turf?

Then there is battle between “in laws” – Ms Calculative I having a hard time with her mum in law. The drama is so thick that Ms Calculative curses her MIL to death all the time and MIL will throw away her breast milk expressed for her 8 month old baby.

Why not give and take and let it go- was my silly advice!

In an Asian filial piety world, elders are to be revered. But Ms Calculative will do no such thing and is rather focus on getting what she wants. It becomes a battle each time so much so that it affects her work as she is on the phone sharing her sorry tale with those she know.

I find it sad as it puts the husband in the middle. He is MIL’s son and she is DIL. DILs are expected to respect and serve MIL but just not this one.

Who is right? Who is wrong? Who is to say as I am sure there are 2 sides to a coin and in this family’s tale, there is so much animosity that I feel it is a relationship that has broken down irrevocably.

Life is hard when there is a lot of anger, angst and hatred.

I am not a saint and am angry for the right reasons for situations that give me the short end of the stick of when I know I have been used.

I do have angst and hatred for MR EX as what he has done is not right! All the lies, cheating and hogwash was not fair but then who am I to say who or what is fair!

I live, I learn from daily lessons in life.

Most importantly, I adapt and change.

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Adventures Of Tiger Woods

On a golf tour in Ireland, Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant who knows absolutely nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
“Top of the mornin’ toyer, sir” says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick “hello” and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
“What are those?, asks the attendant.
“They’re called tees” replies Tiger.
“Well, what on this god’s earth are dey for??” enquires the Irishman.
“They’re for resting my balls on when I’m driving,” says Tiger.

“Fookin Jaysus”, says the Irishman, “Mercedes thinks of everything!”

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Visitors In CM’s Home

A bird’s nest….chicks or nestlings soon will arrive I guess!

CM said that the caterpillars were well camoflagued.

Looks like CM has a small natural reserve at his home 🤣

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More Strawberry Laughs

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Is Good Health Taken For Granted? A Timely Reminder

Is good health taken for granted? www.alifesgayventure.wordpress.com is a practical blog site and I follow it to learn useful practical ways of stretching dollars whilst living in the UK as a retiree. Do pop by and have a read.

I read his recent article on how he was glad that he was medically cleared of an ailment. He stated a fact that reasonated with me – people moan about ill health but people do not celebrate or write about good health they enjoy! Hmm…

I have good days and bad days for health. Generally, I am ridden with pain daily but I do not live life as if I am dying. I moan and groan about it but I laugh a heck of a lot as endorphins manages pain best.

I recently saw a colleague walking like a zombie and asked her what was wrong. She appeared shell shocked and whispered to me that she was dying as she has been diagnosed with diabetes.

She is not obese and instead normal sized.

I told her diabetes is not a death knell – unlike cancers of heart failures, one can live a good and rich life as all the person needs to do is amend lifestyle habits and exercise plus taking her daily dosage of Metformin and blood pricks in the morning.

She does not seem to accept her disease and informs me that she will not want to prick her own fingers and have asked her husband to do for it. I chided her for not taking ownership of her own health. I ticked her off as it is not her husband’s duty but her own plus what if the husband is out of town for work or worst case, is unavailable – then what?!

She then bemoaned that she cannot stop eating durians! Durians are lethal fruits for diabetics and will lead them to diabetic comas when consumed in mega doses and I know she does consume it in mega doses.

Her answer to me was a real classic one! I cannot stop it as my kids love them. If I stop buying it, they cannot enjoy it.

“Look here mum – you already have diabetes and you are not looking out for your family. You ought to share with them that your mum has diabetes and they must start eating healthily now. They can eat in moderation. You abstain! You need not eat. You can watch them eat!”

I was cross. Why?

She is not without life. She has limbs and a working heart. Organs all else are healthy.

She would drink sugary drinks etc.

I continued to encourage her that diabetics live a long time – so long as they manage their health.

I am lucky I am alive. I am lucky I can walk. For each painful day, I recognize that I am alive and not a burden to anyone.

Good reminder from alifegayventure on living life, celebrating health!

Cheers to good heart health, mental health and physical health to all!

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Thursday…How It Started & Ended

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What Does Your Dad Do For A Living? And A Kid’s Answer…

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Different Logic Between Men & Women

I think the poor man above is gonna get angry dagger looks from wifey!

Do not ever try this April Fool’s joke with the woman you are dating…as it is sheer hara kiri to your relationship!!

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