Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Oh No!! Don’t Ever Try This!

A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger.

She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn’t have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the fire.

“Monday’s the best night, when my husband goes out to darts,” she said.

The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.

After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed.

She was surprised to see that the lass didn’t have any pubic hair.

She mentioned this to her husband when he came home.

He didn’t believe her, so she said: “Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the back garden.

I’ll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself.”

So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife asked: “Do you shave?” “No,” replied the girl. “I’ve just never grown any hair down there. Do you have hair?”

“Oh, yes,” said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department.

The girl finished her bath and went to bed.

Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, “Did you see it?” “Yes,” he said, “but why the hell did you have to show her yours.”

“Why ever are you worried about that?” she said. “You’ve seen it often enough before.”

“I know,” he said…. “but the f*ckin darts team hadn’t!



Noise is noisy.

Noise is irritating.

Noise is a sound too.

Noise reminds me of life and activity as the economy hums away.

Noise is a ruckus when kids are not minded and scream their heads off.

Noise is the sound of life really.

Without noise, we are literally quite dead to the world.

A world without noise is silence and silence can be deafening!


Bummer & I Ain’t No Drummer!

I think I may be coming down with a flu bug. I seem to be coughing and having the sniffles.

Maybe it is sinus?

This is not good, especially when the government in Lil Red Dot mandated that anyone with acute respiratory problems and who are aged 13 years and above will need to undergo the Swab test for Covid-19.

I hope it is just allergies as I was masked up when I was out yesterday to see Dr Bones and to get groceries for my parents. I guess I must be stressed out from all the “bad” news from Dr Bones and the hoo ha I had with my folks.

I tend to have a short fuse with my parents these days and as I am calmer today, I reflected that the catalyst for my blow up was because of 2 factors.

Factor 1

Moronic people at work do not understand the meaning of one being on annual leave. Ms Twitty Brain was told the night before my Friday annual leave that I would be on leave to attend to the needs of my parents and I will not be hanging a laptop on my neck to reply.

Despite telling her that, she had the brainless mind to text me and hound me for a file. Hence, Ms Twitty Brain as her psuedonymn.

Ms Twitty Brain has zero EQ and some IQ. When she faced a family crisis, I was there for her to hand hold her and help her with her late father’s issues.

I was taken aback by her hounding as which part of my conversation with her she did not understand?

The file I finished but it required input from Money Bags. Until and unless Money Bags replied, that file of mine ain’t going anywhere, much less to the Sovereign Lords.

Besides, Ms Twitty Brain ought to buffer the lead time before promising to send files to Sovereign Lords. She has been with the Lords here for years and know that Money Bags is not a swift responder and dawdles.

Ok ok… I am in a bad mood then.

Factor 2

Medicines need to be sorted and placed in containers for my dad.

I need to get dad to the bank for his needs.

Then Mum decides to go on a grocery shopping spree and with my painful hands, it made things very hard for me to lug a massive filled trolley to her unit and put things away.

I had to also find a new pair of shoes for my dad and it is a chore trying to get him to change out of the old pair as the heels were worn and poses safety risks. All this requires time and effort.

Okok by now I am frazzled. Phone from Ms Twitty Brain does not stop buzzing from her text and now another matter arose at work.

Mr Safety said that he cannot handle one of his non performing minions. Sack the bugger was my reaction…but Mr Safety is too afraid and wants to be the good guy and needs me to be the Fall Guy for his intended action. Such a drama to be played and I had to be the producer, actor and gaffer sound manager!

Which brings me back to the “bad”news from Dr Bones.

I need surgery for my 2 hands. No other tests required as the neuro tests showed nerve entrapment and that the hand that hurts most would require surgery first. Ultimately both needs to be chopped or sliced and diced.

I love the way Dr Bones described me. I am a patient that “cannot be assessed or described” in a proper way. One minute he sees “green thread” (describing all good post surgery) then it quickly becomes “yellow thread” and things go downhill to “red thread”

I am to him a “difficult medical case” as a patient but thankfully, I am reasonable he said.

What upsets him is that he has difficult patients both in medical and character and this gets his goat!

So, I will not be drumming anytime soon. I will continue to bear with the pain till I give up and go under the knife again. There are probabilities of failed surgery and I will need to live with numbness for the rest of my life.

But he will try and avert that by looking for “virgin territory” to cut and not venture into the old site where first surgery was done before as this would have massive scar tissue.

Lemon treats anyone? It seems the drama of my life continues and I wonder how will my epilogue be played out in the end of my living years?

I am tired.

I am cranky.

I need sanity really in this tough Covid-19 times.

Death seems to be a plausible option for me to exit with poise, grace and somewhat of a dignified exit perhaps?


A New Heinz Product?


My Sentiments Exactly


Alien’s Review Of Earth Visit



Week after week, it’s the same ol’chore.

Vacuuming or the Brits call it as “hoovering” because of the famous brand of vacuum cleaner called “Hoover”.

These days, Dyson rules as state of the art of vacuuming world. And it costs thousands of dollars too to buy such a contraption that used to be the job of the broom!

I gave up using my broom as the amount of dust it sweeps up is nothing compared to the volume caught in the container of my Rowenta vacuum (it is also a cyclone propelled unit but not Dyson) cleaner. Plus sweeping displaces the dust and it will fall back onto the floor.

I was silly to try and use it on my inanimate furball and almost had it sucked through. Thank goodness else my inanimate furball Garfield would be an unhappy camper for sure.

Why is there so much dust?

Must be from the height my unit is located and the fact that I leave my windows opened. Gee, imagine me breathing in all the dusty air when out and about.

Like little fluffs of cloud, these fine dust actually gets sucked up and it amuses me to think if dust can be recycled as stuffing for pillows? Hmm, I guess not as it is not hygienic to begin with but hey, it is cottony soft!

I also believe in the saying, “ashes to ashes, dust to dust” and I think I am the culprit too as I drop dust. Reminds me of that character in Peanuts cartoons that walks with a cloud. I forget the character he portrays though. Sigh I must be getting old!

Well, the floor is vacuumed and toilets scrubbed so till the next week cycle, my chores are done for now.

How nice if someone invented a self cleaning toilet or floor! Now wouldn’t that be peachy?


Going Nuts At A Supermarket

I got to say that I should never go grocery shopping when I am ravenous.

I would buy too much as it is determined by the hunger pangs in me that makes me decide what I should buy versus what I really do not need.

I dashed out to the supermarket today, in between work, as I had no time to replenish food and produce items in my fridge.

Of course I was hungry as work days, I do not have time for lunches. With Work from Home as new normal, it seems the only time to get a hold of the Lords is at lunch time.

Buying just about everything I thought I need, I had left out my most important 2 items; Earl Grey Tea and a spread. I love Dalfour jams – especially the blackberry and mixed fruit flavor. It is French origin and it is packed with a lot of fruits and no extra added sugars.

I love putting a little of this with peanut butter or margarine. It just makes it tangy and nice.

I like buying 2 of everything and usually, I will have expired goods in my fridge. But hey this strategy works when the next pandemic hits, I need not panic buy as I have stock of what I need to last.

I did a stock check of my liquid hand soaps – 8 bottles, antibacterials in lovely fragrances – how to resist! I have lots to use as it is at every sink for use. Ok, I am paranoid about germs! I cannot afford to be ill!

Toothpaste – more than 12 family sized tubes! My pearly whites will not suffer for sure! This was a result of miscount and I thought I had only 4 tubes left!

My favorite canned foods – yup 2 of each!

4 kinds of breads in the freezer.

I am well stocked!

I am happy! But poorer by $114 for my crazy binge activity! I gotta stop grocery shopping on an empty stomach! Stomach rules over head most times!


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