I do not have a lot of memories and whatever I have or gained in the years post surgeries are not worth remembering is how I feel.
You might ask me – WHY?
Memories to me are the past and I do not wish to relive the past as there is really nothing much to relive and remember pain, suffering and how things did not turn out the way I had hoped for.
I tend to live in the now and the present as what good can memories do to help me?
To remember how I trusted the wrong people? Remind myself for being silly thinking that knowing a person since childhood or as a young adult is knowing that person truly?
To remember bosses from hell? Not worth it!
To remember siblings for not caring? I don’t need to suffer the anguish and expectations of having a sibling in name despite same blood that course veins.
I am not being dark or ungrateful if you think I am.
What is the purpose of memories? Some say it is to relive the good moments. Hmm…I don’t have a lot of those and to me, a good moment is watching a nice soapie or a nice dinner with a person in the here and now and walk away.
I am glad that anaesthesia wiped away a lot of my memories – both good and bad.
The trouble is that being human, I have expectations and this is so wrong.
There is nothing in the manual (if there is such a manual) that siblings are expected to care for each other or for their parents.
There is nothing in that same manual to say that relationships between man and woman are expected to be served in a certain manner.
MR EX is a good example. He purports to care for the world and family but in all the decades I have known him, I was never in his totem pole of care unless I was needed to be a rainmaker or to do something of use to him.
Lords of work places will value me for the service I provide and nothing more. I am obliged to serve my sentence as I am paid. I cannot expect thanks and or appreciation as I am a paid minion. It is also wrong to think that relationships or friendships can be built especially in organisations with more than 300 minions.
I must learn to walk away from siblings thinking they owe me due care or that they owe due care to our parents. I really cannot expect that and it is wrong of me to do so.
Life then gets to be less painful as no expectations and if things are done in a surprising manner, wouldn’t that lift my spirits!
I am silly I know but this is my coping mechanism to continue in my journey of life and pooh pooh away the thought of having or storing memories.
Live spartanly, lesser baggage and life gets better all round I feel.
Garfieldhug's Blog 
I understand your point but memories help us change and become.
I can agree too. It has made me more wary of people who cannot be trusted like my MR EX.
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That is indeed a good view of how you see this. Thanksπ€
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Well good or bad we all have to deal what we have been handed the way it best serves us.
True that!
have to agree with cats and coffee. this post of yours has been kicking around in my little grey cells since it was first read. I don’t remember a lot, trust me, but the things I do remember, I am thankful for. Even those bad things. Many lessons I’d need to learn over if I forgot and that would be horrid. Shoot, often they are forgotten anyway!!! So, if I could empty the dead bits as easily as I dumped out boxes at mom’s, that would be wonderful!!! However, hoping those memories I’ve forgotten don’t clutter things up much. Meanwhile, this blog has got a lot of memories in it and am not sure if that is good or not!!!
I am glad that my little post has provoked think thoughts in the grey cells department. Yes, the unhappy bits we can junk but are also practical lessons for learning. I guess we cannot keep or retain 100% of all memories, both good or bad. Yes, this blog site of mine has also helped me cope with lemony stuff too and the memories that I have with it helps me cope better too.
Remember the ‘acuan’ or mould for shaping mooncake? One’s pasts shape one’s present self, for better or worse, bitter or otherwise.
Good advice Chen SP. Good reminder too. Thanks
Memories are there to learn from past experiences and provide framework for more realistic expectations.