Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

God Says It Best

โ€“Man: What is a million years like to you?


God: Like one second.


Man: What is a million dollars like to you?


God: Like one penny.


Man: Can I have a penny?


God: Just a second. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

3 Comments »

Lil Johnny

Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.


“Not yet,” said Little Johnny.


His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.


Well, he’s a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.


He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow.

He goes to feed the pigs and he kicks a pig.


He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.


“How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon? Why don’t I have any milk in my cereal?” he asks.


“Well,” his mother says, “I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week.


I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren’t getting any milk.”

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.


Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: “Are you going to tell him, or should I?

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