I hate it when part time help is not time sensitive and tells me within an hour of supposed arrival that she is delayed, hour every after hour. I gave up after having the appointment dragged from 11am to 3pm and cancelled. The reason I received was even more alarming as part time help then said her son in law passed away in Philippines. She did not even tell me her daughter was married!
I find people using death flippantly as an excuse. I do not mean any disrespect to any nationality but I tend to get this from people of 2 particular countries. It would seem that monthly, they would lose a relative through death. People around them in their home countries would be suddenly dropping dead, pre-covid 19 times when something is required of them to be done. If it was Covid-19 it would make sense but it is not and it is just wrong to do so!
If it was a genuine death, I would be deeply saddened but to have a family member dying monthly and on days of special requests for work to be done, seems to stretch my compassion or empathy a bit.
I also find it so weird that when Mr Nice told me he visited a mutual friend’s late father’s wake (age 93 years old) and I texted a note of condolence out of respect and care, this mutual friend immediately sent me a photo of the obituary and expected me to pay my respects and offer condolence monies. How presumptuous!
I had to apologise and explained that I had just been discharged from hospital and that my hands are heavily bandaged – basically I could not attend wakes, more so during Covid-19 it was not quite suitable for me to do so. I did not get a reply for me to say thanks and or for me to take care too. It felt to me, that since I was not going to the wake, he was not too bothered to reply.
Strange! I am unsure in your country if marriages or funeral attendances require you to gift monies but here in Singapore, it is customary to do so and recover their expenses for either the wedding or funeral.
Personally, I cannot attend anything “red” or “black” events as these are taboo for me – I get very ill when I attend such events and have refrained since as a child. So, I avoid it like the plague or in today’s new normal, avoid it like Covid-19!
My cousins too are not nice folks as one particular cousin is town crier for deaths in the clan and honestly we do not know these clan members and hardly have dealings with them. But once anyone of them drops dead or produces a grandson or child or great grand niece or heck who cares if it is the grand poobah of the clan, this Town Crier, will immediately look for my mum to milk her of a couple of hundred dollars. I did not mind this when my parents are younger and nimble on their feet to go about but with Covid-19 and mum having spinal issues and walking becomes hard, I worry for her safety.
I baulked when Town Crier hijacked my mum and made my mum pay for taxi fare back and forth so that my mum can “generously” donate to the death proceedings of an unknown clan member.
It infuriated me so much that one day I looked up the Town Crier and strictly told her to stop doing it. The whole village can die for all I care – this same village did not bother to visit my mum when she had major heart surgery. Nor did any one in the clan visit my dad when he was also very ill. I sat alone in the critical care area as my dad was in ICU, waiting in the dead of night till I could heave a sigh of relief.
I am not being mean. But I feel that the issue with death, births and marriages have become a lucrative means for people to show off lavish funerals or celebrations for keeping up with “face” and hoping to milk well wishers for monies through “gifts” of cash.
This is why I have adopted a from the freezer to the BBQ pit when it is time for me and my parents to leave this earthly realm. Actually for me, I will be in the freezer for 3 years as I opted to be a silent mentor to a medical school.
It simply riles me when a deeply meaningful event is trifled with for economic gain, useful excuse to get out of work or used for wrong reasons.
It is simply not right! Not respectful! This is how I feel.
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