Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

This & That And What Ails….

on August 30, 2021

I hate it when part time help is not time sensitive and tells me within an hour of supposed arrival that she is delayed, hour every after hour. I gave up after having the appointment dragged from 11am to 3pm and cancelled. The reason I received was even more alarming as part time help then said her son in law passed away in Philippines. She did not even tell me her daughter was married!

I find people using death flippantly as an excuse. I do not mean any disrespect to any nationality but I tend to get this from people of 2 particular countries. It would seem that monthly, they would lose a relative through death. People around them in their home countries would be suddenly dropping dead, pre-covid 19 times when something is required of them to be done. If it was Covid-19 it would make sense but it is not and it is just wrong to do so!

If it was a genuine death, I would be deeply saddened but to have a family member dying monthly and on days of special requests for work to be done, seems to stretch my compassion or empathy a bit.

I also find it so weird that when Mr Nice told me he visited a mutual friend’s late father’s wake (age 93 years old) and I texted a note of condolence out of respect and care, this mutual friend immediately sent me a photo of the obituary and expected me to pay my respects and offer condolence monies. How presumptuous!

I had to apologise and explained that I had just been discharged from hospital and that my hands are heavily bandaged – basically I could not attend wakes, more so during Covid-19 it was not quite suitable for me to do so. I did not get a reply for me to say thanks and or for me to take care too. It felt to me, that since I was not going to the wake, he was not too bothered to reply.

Strange! I am unsure in your country if marriages or funeral attendances require you to gift monies but here in Singapore, it is customary to do so and recover their expenses for either the wedding or funeral.

Personally, I cannot attend anything “red” or “black” events as these are taboo for me – I get very ill when I attend such events and have refrained since as a child. So, I avoid it like the plague or in today’s new normal, avoid it like Covid-19!

My cousins too are not nice folks as one particular cousin is town crier for deaths in the clan and honestly we do not know these clan members and hardly have dealings with them. But once anyone of them drops dead or produces a grandson or child or great grand niece or heck who cares if it is the grand poobah of the clan, this Town Crier, will immediately look for my mum to milk her of a couple of hundred dollars. I did not mind this when my parents are younger and nimble on their feet to go about but with Covid-19 and mum having spinal issues and walking becomes hard, I worry for her safety.

I baulked when Town Crier hijacked my mum and made my mum pay for taxi fare back and forth so that my mum can “generously” donate to the death proceedings of an unknown clan member.

It infuriated me so much that one day I looked up the Town Crier and strictly told her to stop doing it. The whole village can die for all I care – this same village did not bother to visit my mum when she had major heart surgery. Nor did any one in the clan visit my dad when he was also very ill. I sat alone in the critical care area as my dad was in ICU, waiting in the dead of night till I could heave a sigh of relief.

I am not being mean. But I feel that the issue with death, births and marriages have become a lucrative means for people to show off lavish funerals or celebrations for keeping up with “face” and hoping to milk well wishers for monies through “gifts” of cash.

This is why I have adopted a from the freezer to the BBQ pit when it is time for me and my parents to leave this earthly realm. Actually for me, I will be in the freezer for 3 years as I opted to be a silent mentor to a medical school.

It simply riles me when a deeply meaningful event is trifled with for economic gain, useful excuse to get out of work or used for wrong reasons.

It is simply not right! Not respectful! This is how I feel.

12 responses to “This & That And What Ails….

  1. scifihammy says:

    Gosh I can’t believe someone would pretend there is a death in the family just to get out of doing something.
    And the people who expect money from you? No, that doesn’t happen where I live!
    So, you rant away GH – I totally agree with you! πŸ˜€
    PS I hope you are getting a bit better each day πŸ™‚

  2. Kris says:

    Sometimes people will gift monies to the family for meals or whatever, but it isn’t likely. It amazes me your mom fell for that over and over.Although, it was a kind of family gathering and probably full of news and gossips and if your mom is like mine was, that is worth paying for!! Hurrah for you to stay tough and away from places. There have been several services I’ve known of here. Some are online-in fact, one was and I managed to miss it forgetting time zones!! So annoying! Most, however, are open and maskless. Because a mask doesn’t work and infringes on rights…..grrrr.

  3. hartlife1973 says:

    I’m glad you asked them to stop. I can’t imagine that. People here don’t do that thankfully.

  4. Neethu says:

    Expecting money while offering condolences is unheard of here in India… Unless of course it’s a very close family member.. But the maids here…πŸ™„ My own cook has had all her family members killed( not literally) for the past 4 years she has been working for me… Every 2-3 months a so called family member passes away..all excuses to escape work… since then I have been keeping track… Now it’s her neighbors and her street residents who are on their way to the netherworldπŸ™ˆI seriously wonder how can someone give such lame excuses…πŸ™„

    • Garfield Hug says:

      Oh wow Indians too would use the same lame excuses too…amazing and shameless to use relatives like that. It sounds hilarious and they take us as fools as if we do not count or track. πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™€

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