Almost Friday Laughs
3 Comments »
A Letter From One In The Army
Dear Mum & Dad,
I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm – tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all yagotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody cows to milk, no calves to feed, or eggs ta get or feed to stack – nothin’!! But ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there’s lotsa hot water and even some soap and a light to see what ya doing!
At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there’s no kangaroo steaks or possum stew like wot Mum makes. You don’t get fed again until noon and by that time all the city kids are buggered because we’ve been on a ‘route march’ -strewth… its only just like walking to the windmill in the back paddock!!
This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin’ – dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody possum’s bum and it don’t move and it’s not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target – it’s a piece of piss!! You don’t even load your own cartridges they comes in little boxes and ya don’t have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload!
Sometimes yagotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy – but it’s OK coz it’s only one at a time like, it’s not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster.
Turns out I’m not a bad boxer either and it looks like I’m the best the platoon’s got, and I’ve only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers – he’s 6 foot 5 and 18 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders. As ya know I’m only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin’ wet, but I fought him till the other blokes pulled me off and carried me to the boozer. He didn’t come with us though, said somethin about sore mouth…
I can’t complain about the Army – tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how bloody good it is.
Your loving daughter,
Sheila😊
Neighbor’s Cooking Week 25 March 22 To 31 March 22
25 March 22 Friday lunch was not served as Neighbor has to be with grandsons for their swim classes. Dinner, Helper cooked fried rice with peas, corn bits, egg and bacon. Lotus root soup with pork and corn on the cob. This is one of 2 favorite soups of Neighbor that I enjoy most.
26 March lunch was a traditional Soto Ayam – a Malay dish with noodles, coriander, 1 calamansi lime, half of a hard boiled egg and shredded chicken. I like this dish as it is a bit spicy and I like spicy noodles and soup.
26 March dinner was rice and fish soup. Fresh pieces of red garoupa fillet with “Tang Oh”veggies with cut red chillis, garnished with shallots and shallot oil.
27 March 2022, Sundays are days when kitchen is closed by Neighbor.
28 March lunch & dinner
29 Lunch & dinner
30 lunch was old cucumber soup with pork bones, wolfberries and red dates & rice.
31 March lunch and dinner was braised pork with bean curd and spinach seaweed miso soup.
The Threat….Or Not?
A little old Jewish lady in the Bronx one day gets a menacing phone call: “I’m the viper. I’m coming in 2 days!”.
She’s petrified. After all, New York is a meshugenneh city so she had a super extra deadbolt lock installed on the door.
The next day she again gets the menacing phone: “I’m the viper! I’m coming tomorrow!!”
She’s hysterical and had double locks placed on the window.
The next day the doorbell rings. She asks “Who’s there?”
She looks through the peephole and sees this little old Jewish guy who says (thick Yiddish accent): “IT’S IRVING DE VINDOW VIPER, I’M COMING TO VIPE YOUR VINDOWS!” 🙂
Lol
A Jingle For Carnation Milk
A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation.
When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering $5,000 for the best slogan.
The producers wanted a rhyme to accompany the photo below – a rhyme that began with ‘Carnation Milk is best of all…’
The little old lady thought to herself, I know everything there is to know about milk and dairy farms. I can do this! She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black car pulled up in front of her house. A large man got out, knocked on her door and said,
“Ma’am,…..The president of Carnation milk absolutely LOVED your entry…..So much, in fact, that we are here to award you $1,000 even though we will not be able to use it for our advertisements!”
He did, however, have one printed up to hang on his office wall.”
Garfieldhug's Blog 