Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Tuesday’s Think Thoughts

on June 7, 2022

I was so glad that Mr Nice told me he could be discharge from hospital today and that his wife and 2 sons will take turns to help him with his urinary catheter and urinary bag for the next 10 days whilst he recovers, before the urinary catheter and urinary bag can be disposed of.

I know the feeling as post spinal surgery, I was hooked up to a Pethidine dispensing machine that allowed me to press when I feel pain and release Pethidine to ease my pain. I was also hooked up with a urinary catheter and urinary bag. I was flat on my bed for 7 days before I was allowed to be up and about.

I begged for the opening in my neck for IV plug to be removed by day 3 as I was eating and not dizzy but was refused till day 5. Apparently I have baby veins and the veins collapsed once the IV drip went in. So Dr Anaes had to do one IV plug through use of my carotid vein. He shared that this was usually used for open heart surgeries and or other major heart surgeries as this vein was large.

I learnt humility as I laid on my back. I was beholden to the nurses for keeping me clean and made it point to be up by 4.30am so that the 2 out of 3 nurses in the night shift could be less burdened as they had to take care of 12 patients nightly. This way, they can sponge me and move on to do other things.

By day 7 I forced self to get up on commode and be wheeled to the toilet and it was super painful. I now know how people with disabilities or post operations feel.

I had to wear a diaper at night as getting 2 nurses to help me each time to get to the toilet would be a chore and it eased their workload. I did not like it, but I had no choice.

I also learnt to reflect on my life.

What does chasing the extra dollar means to me if I have no life or mobility to pick it up. My mum is wise and reminded me that without health, even if one million bucks dropped in front of me, I cannot even bend down to pick it up, much less lug it home to keep. But yes, I know that legally, I need to report it to the police station as finders is not keepers and yes, I could not even lug it to the police station!!

I am also thankful that I did not get married. Chances are with my myriad surgeries (32 as at 31 May 2022), no husband will still stand by me and live up to the oath of “in sickness and in health, till death do us part!” – I will be a forever burden to the chap!

But I am also open to the fact that I get lonely as I age. I will probably need to live in a nursing home in the future or in an assisted living facility and make new friends to co-exist with. I hope the nursing home quality and standard of living improves from now as what I have seen is quite dreadful here. The 5 star ones costs SGD15,000 for a single room and for that price, I might as well live in a 5 star serviced apartment. This cost excludes medical care, medicines and or laundry etc.

So, I will rot like an old crotchety woman, with a raggy Garfield in tow, watching CSI reruns or NCIS series or some other new police drama like Hudson and Rex.

I have given up on romantic love. After MR EX, I decided that love is not real and is superficial.

Even unconditional love becomes conditional. I started out being supportive of a housekeeper at Bates Motel. I gave her money for this or that when she moaned about her husband being unwell in Malaysia. It was small amounts of SGD10, then it increased to SGD50 which added up to a fair bit during my stay each time.

3 days ago, this housekeep forwarded me a text that the income tax department wanted her to pay SGD1,700+ for her income tax. I knew then, that Housekeeper wanted me to pay for this. I stood firm and turned her down as I too, had to earn my money and this is now getting to be sizeable amounts.

If I was Warren Buffet, I could pay for Housekeeper but Housekeeper lives in a landed property in Malaysia and has 2 adult sons. But I am not! I am a wage owner with my own expenses and family to care for.

Housekeeper is not entirely truthful and information comes in dribs and drabs and only after 10 years, I learnt that there were 2 sons instead of 1 son.

I learnt the lesson of “kindness being taken for weakness” too.

I do not know how I will end up in life and if I had a wish, I will not want to live long if there is no quality of life. I do not want anymore surgeries and want this 32nd surgery to be the mother of all surgeries and it ENDS!

I am not depressed or suicidal. I am practical.

Lil Red Dot is an expensive place to live in and it is quite impossible to retire and think savings will suffice. All it takes is a major catastrophic illness to wipe up hundreds of thousands of savings as insurers are now wising up to medical costs and may not approve all hospital and surgical claims.

If I need SGD2,500 to live a month, I will need SGD900,000 to survive me if I live till 90 years old. But this is unrealistic as with premium increments for medical insurances and cost of living, I will probably need SGD5,000 a month and I will need SGD1.8 million if I live till 90 years old.

I sincerely hope I can croak tomorrow. Easier as I will have funds to take care of self and Garfield (poor fella will then be stuffed into the niche with me).



10 responses to “Tuesday’s Think Thoughts

  1. Ana Daksina says:

    One might almost think it was being made impossible to live so that some force can feed on our frustration, doesn’t it?

  2. piglet says:

    Hi Garfield Hug, your Mum is very wise! I really like what she said.

    So sorry you are going through so much pain. Understand how you feel. My knee is hurting badly now despite the steroid injection I received yesterday. I guess we both have to learn to live with pain and maybe even embrace it. Pain is our new normal.

    I am terribly disappointed with the Housekeeper. You have such a big heart and she took advantage of it. The karma is on her.

    Anyway don’t despair that you are alone. My sis who is married and have 2 daughters tells me all the time that nowadays parents cannot depend on children to take care of them. She and her husband have to save enough to pay for nursing homes when they are old.

    You are an exceptional filial daughter. You will blessed.

    Take care and don’t move around too much 😍😍😍

  3. Sweetheart, my heart is breaking for you and your pain, but you are a very brave individual, and you will survive this tough stretch and go on making us laugh! You are blessed with wonderful friends, so you will never be alone. Praying for you…

  4. hartlife1973 says:

    I hope you are not feeling as down today. Life is a struggle but I know you would be missed terribly. πŸ€—

  5. Thotaramani says:

    People see only looks but I try to understand the soul. But wish good for them

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