Wherefore Art Thou GarfieldHug?

My fair audience, I am alive! But admittedly, recovery has been brutal as the easiest of task I take for granted with hands are my new challenges.

Lately my left paw has been swollen, alongside with all 4 digits save for the thumb.

The phalanges of each finger has a bone joint and in particular for my ring finger, the base phalange or proximal phalanx is especially swollen and tender.

I suppose it takes time to heal and I know I am not doing justice to hospital leave as I need to get house chores done. I am, unfortunately, not a rich tai tai of Rich Crazy Asians genre, but instead a working class generic being.

I need to do laundry, wash up and do minor housework until I can find a stable part time help to assist me. The thought of repeating and teaching is not something I relish now and I will need to get round to contacting a cleaning company that fellow blogger Piglet shared with me. I get tired just thinking of the repeated process and showing them how to set up the vacuum cleaner or how to clean toilets and then the process repeats all over again, each week, week on week.

For now, my floor is not squeaky clean, lathered in dettol but clean to the feet, plus I use indoor slippers for now. Garfield my inanimate furball is on the bed or sofa, he stays clean and off the floors for now. LOL!

Work still continues and I get emails and calls – life has to go on and my responsibility requires me to reply even though I am managing my hospital leave. Sigh!

Humor? My humor has been restricted to one on one conversations with my inanimate furball Garfield and please do not think that I am heading towards the loony bin, well not yet! I assure you my marbles in the brain department is still somewhat intact. Eccentric, maybe(?). Weird (?) Definitely I think!

A typical conversation with Garfield goes like this before I go to bed.

Aww Garfield, Mama loves you and have you been a good boy?

Have you been good with Mousie?

I then, give them both a squoosh and a big Garfield hug to my raggedy fella and he sleeps with me as I hug him till I fall asleep. I will wake up with him, still hugged to bits on my chest!

Weird? Kooky? Definitely I am, undeniably so!

But razor sharp to chomp off the head of morons that I had to deal with yesterday on the phone.

My parents have volunteers looking in on them from time to time. Whilst I appreciate the enthusiasm of volunteers, their persistence in forcing elderly seniors to get them covid-19 vaccinated, they must stop and listen to these seniors and understand their medical conditions before forcing them out the door of their flat to the center for vaccinations.

My mum was smart to have this enthusiastic volunteer call me before she was to be dragged off to the vaccination center.

My impression of the enthusiastic volunteer is that she does not stop to think nor does she have the patience to listen and I had to repeatedly tell her to stop and listen to me.

Further I have just had surgery and she did not understand that any side effects of bone issues such as aches and pains or meds they are on, would require me to watch over them like a hawk to rush my folks to A&E if they become unwell because of the Covax.

But right now, I have no hands to drive or much less, be there for them to help them move to the toilets or feeding if they are immobilised.

She refused to let up and kept telling me she can get my parents transported to the vaccination center.

I ticked her off. My mum has great difficulty walking and my father has dementia – can she alone handle the 2 persons without understanding their needs and if my father wanders off, then what? I will then have more issues to face and during my recovery stage, it is not helping me.

Again, I told her the medical issues and only after 15 minutes of repeated words from me that she had to stop, listen and understand as she is refusing to hear, did she finally shut up! Ok I had to raise my voice.

Also I told her, there is a home vaccination program, if we decide at the right time, this can be the preferred option.

Finally she achieved nirvana and said that she will get the doctor to speak to me from the center.

I spoke to Dr Yeo from SATA, Jurong. He was smart and listened and told me that he also suspected the over zealous volunteers were forcing their will unto seniors as many appeared at the vaccination center and said they did not want to be vaccinated and explained their medical conditions which Dr Yeo agreed were unfit for vaccination.

Conclusion for Dr Yeo after my conversation for him was that it would not be wise for my parents to take the vaccination now. If I wish to try it, I have to be on standby and until my hands were better, should I re-visit this decision. Plus I need to consult my mum’s cardiologist.

Life…it goes on…

I get riled by morons who refuses to listen to logical reasoning and decision making.

Sigh…I appreciate volunteers and I know, as I am one too. But as a volunteer I cannot force my will unto others. That would be wrong as in my case, if my mum had not forced her to call me and went quietly to be vaccinated and passed away or croaked as a result of complications then what!

I would shudder to think. As such this volunteer must learn to listen and hear the medical history and observe the incapacity of the person she is forcing to walk to the vaccination center.

Sigh!

Bates Motel – Day #17 Introducing Dr Bohemian

Dr Lim is, to me, Dr Bohemian or Technician or Electrician. He looks like one – simply dressed and if one sees him on the street, he could pass off as a delivery guy too.

But looks are deceiving as he is really talented and the deities endowed him with hands to heal patients like me.

I am not reducing his status as he embraces it. Down to earth without White Coat Syndrome, he does not care about riches, Marseratis or Rolls Royces.

He proudly tells me, he drives a Japanese car and the engine works well. Not ostentatious but quietly seeking practical outcomes.

He dons the same red colored polyester t shirt and told me that he has 2 pcs and goes to the clothesline to get it. It dries fast and the best part is, no ironing required! I nodded quickly too as I have to wear cotton or linen as my carcass does not like other fabrics.

If he is drenched jogging in the rain, he wears scrubs and washes the red T and puts it in the “dryer” in his clinic. It is his “uniform” I told him and it becomes him!

We are both so alike in outlook of life, not chasing designer togs and he does house chores and drives his kids to school and back before and after clinic hours. His committment to both family and patients is 110%.

He has a good sense of humor and always give a loud chuckle. Sarcastic or sardonic.. I love gabbing with him on the world’s ill. I feel he is definitely on MENSA – a highly gifted person with a heart of gold.

Humble, not pretentious and I like his honesty when he cannot fix my other ills. I told him if only I could unscrew my head to let it rest! He offered to cut it off! This is our brand of humor as he always give a straight humorous and fast quip.

Bates Motel Day #17 – When Bored & Finding Distraction For Pain

When bored, I think I am a great photographer.

Note: Key word is “Think” and not actually!🤣🤣

Admittedly, I’m not anywhere near the standards of Ansel Adams or any great abstract or stills photographer.

Gee….I am not even comparable to those lovely photos taken by the WordPress community!

The photos I took in this post was from the basket (see photo below) I received last week. The flowers had begun to wither and I was trying to give it, its last hurrah in life’s stage.

I was trying to find beauty in things that are on its last nature’s legs.

I am waiting for Dr Lim to inject my neck with shincort and marcaine. Then Samy will do my physio.

Away I must…I have a virtual meeting in a bit.

Garfield hugs

Am I Odd?

I think I am odd because I am one person who just loves my inanimate furball Garfield. I started with Pink Panther, moved to Care Bears, tried Alf, hugged a smurf, played with Snoopy and then fell madly in love with Garfield. All things Garfield – mugs, plates, spoons, bowls, glassware, T shirts, bed sheets, bath towels, face towels, kitchen towels, cushion covers – anything remotely Garfield, I try to have it.

I think I am odd because I like to do things with head and tail i.e. meticulous, with a big picture as background before making any decisions – informed decisions and not knee jerk reactions.

I think I am odd when it comes to boy-girl relationships as I overthink it and then gets overcome by paralysis as a result of fear. Relationships are not fool proof and I like things to be thought out, like making management decisions. It is not easy finding a soul mate and or marrying that soul mate without knowing the baggage it comes with. Plus the village behind it. I dislike breakups and want to hear reasons or rationalise it. But I discovered it is a 2 way street and not a one way street. If I tried but the other party does not try to work at it, it is a loss cause and like any business arrangement, I must cut losses.

I think I am odd because I do not have an aristocratic palate. I like simple foods and do not crave the fineries of specially prepared cuisines. Food is food and I can hardly taste the difference between a dish prepared by a hawker or at a restaurant. To me, it tastes the same. But to the discerning palate, it is a waste to let me try Michelin starred foods! I am told I have a rubber mouth and good food is wasted on me.

I think I am odd because people who meet me for the first time thinks (key word “thinks”) that I am intelligent, rich in the pockets and well connected. I assure you, as a wage earner, I am no richer than the average man on the street. I am not a beggar, thankfully as I have a job for now. But I practise frugality as I worry about saving for old age. Perhaps the effigy of God of Fortune’s girth is reflective of me and the natural assumption is that I am one of those rich folks. Well, I do not drive a Jaguar, a Bentley, Ferrari, Lotus, Maserati or Lamborghini.

I think I am odd as I do not like to leave relationships hanging (and to humor Neethu who loves reading about MR EX), I made an olive branch attempt to text MR EX and asked if he will give me closure by telling me the truth of how he saw me in the relationship we shared for decades. I asked him to just tell me that I never meant anything to him and that his request to me to “wait for him” was for “fun” as he had no intention of making good his promise. I will never know as he will not reply and in so doing will not give me closure for my sanity. My insanity says he may have cared or did care but for whatever reasons best known to him, he ended up hurting me. He does not have the strength to address it with me because, a part of him probably knows he was making a mockery out of me, using me for his business needs and profiting from it, at my expense. I have faith that one day, MR EX will give me the closure I need and perhaps I may even eke an apology out from him. Or maybe not? I might go to my grave never knowing the true intentions of MR EX and knowing if I ever mattered to him, in his life or was I just a thorn in his paw (which to me, I know I am now to him)

Yes, I am odd.

Somewhat odd,

Not quite wholly odd.

When fully odd,

I will be worried about my oddity,

As by then I am old and crotchety!

Today’s Natter From Mour, The Not So Wise!

Honestly, I do not have globules of wisdom and most times, just beaver away to get things done. But I recognise that I have a knack of brokering people to get together for mutual business benefits.

Ms Dog is in the dog business….a local dog whisperer of sorts that cater to dogs being taught and trained to do things.

Ms Dog used to be the people business and when I first knew her, she was in an identity crisis, figuring out if she was gay and if her current vocation was what she wanted. Fast forward on, after a failed relationship with a female partner, she married a man and is now a mother of 3 kids and a thriving business centred on dogs.

I have not heard from her in a while and when I texted her, she spoke as if it was like we met yesterday.

She is doing good but she lacked the contacts or business links to connect. So I appeared suddenly and today, I put her in touch with 3 groups of people for her to introduce pet therapy to marginalised or special needs persons.

Next a colleague called me to say her daughter did not do well in the exams and did not qualify to be accepted into the program of choice. I am now helping the daughter by guiding her on alternative routes to take which will result in the end goal of a university degree and for her to intern at a facility that supports her choice of program.

It is nice to help. It is even nicer to know I am useful to help. This is the least I can do to pay forward to kindness I receive. For e.g. Neighbor’s kindness and generosity to take care of my nourishment so that I can focus on work.

Whilst I have been burnt before by helping MR EX, I felt that he is an anomaly. Not all humans are as sickening or difficult as him. Or was I expecting a “return” and because I presumed we were in a “relationship” I expected better from him.

The reverse on MR EX could be, he never took me as one in a relationship with him and as far as he saw it, I could have been just an acquaintance to him, nothing more and that he expected me to help him when he needed help.

Am I beginning to forgive MR EX? Forgiveness is easier said than done but as the months pass, I have an inner peace as he longer hangs around like a harmful virus akin to Covid-19 and perhaps he has become endemic and not a pandemic.

I do want to reach out to MR EX as what I see him as now is with a different pair of eyes. He is pitiful and pathetic to a point. He is always alone and doing things alone. He does not have the love of his bimbo wife who started a church because she claimed God asked her to and she is profiting from it.

2 daughters who are self centred and spoilt rotten; eldest without a career and he trying hard to pivot her as a leader of sorts.

I doubt he has true friends or even know how to differentiate between good and real friends to acquaintances.

Or I maybe wrong and he is as his publicity paints him out to be; a loving husband, a doting father, a successful entrepreneur, a political activist, a public figure we can put him on a pedestal and worship perhaps?

I will continue to help where I can in small ways. I am not in the banding as rich tycoons like the local founder of Secret Lab who created gaming chairs here and made millions!

I am I.

I am a Garfield hugging nitwit.

I am a minion working for Lords.

I am a daughter.

I am simply, I – nothing more, nothing less…..not rich, not a beggar but genuinely wishing I can do more in life than being just I.

Have a happy weekend ahead folks!

The Perils & Pitfalls Of Romantic Love

I gotta admit that I hate Cupid, the Cherubim. Why! That Cupid has not bothered to fire me any useful arrows of love and instead fired arrows to all sorts of wrong situations.

1st Arrow

Classmate A….we got on famously well and then he went to San Francisco and I went to Oregon, never the twain were we to meet. 2 years of work went into the drain or in our local dialect speak, into the “long kang”

2nd Arrow

Man 1, a starting out business man in fast food. I missed the signals as the corporate ladder was screaming, climb me, like the Venus Flytrap in Little Shop of Horrors screaming, “Feeeeeed me!”

3rd Arrow

Mr Architect….ohh all the wooing and expense he took. I got frightened by his opulence in wealth and gestures! What if he became a bankrupt overnight? How will our lives change? Do I fit to stand next to man in designer togs and me in my worst ratty Garfield T Shirt and worn out shorts with Garfield in tow? Will I fit into the fineries of life with the likes of I M Pei, Frank Llyod Wright or Le Corbusier equivalents? To me, a chair is a chair, what is this Corbu?

4th Arrow

Mr Son Of Somebody…..no drive in life, happy to work 2 days a week as family wealth will suffice. I got bored. I was climbing the corporate ladder and he paled whenever he faded into the background like wallpaper.

5th Arrow

Mr Lawyer was egged by everyone in the office to go chase me. I ignored, it started as quickly as it ended.

6th Arrow

MR EX was like a plague. Hard to eradicate and always around like a nightmare. Business got us together and business wrapped us closer. Lies, deceit, more lies…tiring and despite splitting up and he entering into another marriage, he hovered around like the plague (or to stay relevant, like Covid-19 with its mutant strains) till April 2021 when I fired so many salvos that he dropped me like a hot potato.

I may be wrong but men do not like (men who are reading this, please chime in and correct me if I am wrong) difficult women. They want women to do their bidding, with enough character to be seen as not needy but needy to want them.

Women must be subservient and not talk back, much less challenge them else when they lose, horrors of horrors, they lost to a woman!

It is wrong of me to generalise and or stereo type but in my lack of romantic life, I was told that I was deemed too “powerful” as my worklife circles see me with certain characters that no one will ever meet in their lifetime in person, much less have a meal or sip tea with.

I blast people into smithereens when I find out things go awry at work and I was not kept in the loop and I need to clean up!

Romantic love does not work. It is the good ol stoic love and understanding of love and its characteristics that strengthens or stokes the flame of love.

Why MR EX and I did not work out was simply, there was no love to begin with but the excitement of the hunt by MR EX to try and get me to do his bidding and me just being helpful to his fairy tales of poverty and need to survive that got me tangled into his web of deceit.

So, I gave up on Cupid and am looking at being singleton for the rest of my life on this earth. I will continue to wear ratty T shirts and shorts and lugging Garfield with me, wherever I go.

I am comfortable in my own company, enslaved to work, and knowing that I will grow old, crotchety and lonely in my declining years!

So I envy the married, the divorced (freedom from slavery and bondage) and single group.

Each has its challenges and it is truly, for better or for worst.

Life is not a bed of roses is real as you marry the village that comes with the man and its baggages too!

Uniquely Cats

I have never had a live pet cat before. Instead I have an inanimate furball, Garfield. He is a stuff toy or modernists call him a plush toy.

But my colleague, Ms Feisty, always shared photos of Miffy and the late Miya.

Cats are admittedly unique and regal. They walk on tippy toes…or at least to me, they do.

You see, I used to have pet dogs. In my growing up years, I have had a mongrel ( his name was Husky), a cross breed of a beagle and mongrel (his name was King) and a pure bred Dobermann (her name was Goldlin Gretchen).

Dogs are boisterous and I could grab them and play rough without being sliced like cat claws.

Cats are in a class of their own. They hold their own weight and deems cat owners as their minions.

Latest Trend In Obituaries – I Could Write Mine Now….

I have noticed of late that the obituaries in the papers have been more light hearted. This is especially so for those who live to a ripe old age.

Well, I for one, will not be living to a ripe old age! Heaven’s forbid! Another day of suffering! Enough I say!

I can almost hear the booming voices of deities! “Ain’t your choice human! It is OUR Choice” – hmm they are right as I do not control my end time. Though technically I could, but it is illegal as suicides are against the law in Lil Red Dot.

Posthumously, I will be charged and “caned”.

I vote for euthanasia but it is against the law here.

I digressed. I meant to write my obituary….as if anyone will post it for me when I am a goner.

Here goes…

“It gives me great pleasure to announce that I am a goner! Yup! I left for the upper or lower realms. Unsure where at the moment as my soul has to be weighed? Hmm..perhaps the standards of post death have also changed to meet with new normal.

No angels lifted me. I kinda just left and I guess my cause of death may be medically related as it certainly cannot be due to euphoric happiness!

I lived a life working and doing stuff that most others did not feel responsible for. I was the gopher, a servant, if you will.

Aaah but I have one great inanimate companion – Garfield. He is now rather raggedy and thin from flattened stuffing. For those who grew up on digital toys, a soft toy is a huggable and yes, it is passe as these days the young ones prefer the gadgetry of things.

I am old. I guess I died old. Or older.

My next task is to revolutionize wherever I end up.

If in the upper realm, then I must have done something good. HAH! I will then have alot to complain to the heavenly Lords for giving me the short end of the stick whilst on the earthly realm.

I could change the “filing” system and digitise it. Put checks and balances in place to ensure that no legit humanoid has to suffer. Surely there must be better ways of delivering learning points for them on earth.

If I am in the lower realm – gee the shovelling of coals must be automated. Really…no one break backs doing this menial task anymore. Let’s get Thomas Edison, Stephen Hawking and whoever in the scientific world to assist by asking the Lords above to loan us their services on contract basis. Their way of contributing some good to the dark lower realm.

Yes, I am gone.

Mourn not. Honestly, I know not of anyone who will mourn me, except my inanimate furball.

Relatives – none worthy of mentioning. They probably will turn their noses up on me when they realised that I have not left them any pennies. Not that I have a lot of pennies to give. You see, I am not Elon Musk nor was I Bill Gates.

No wealth really.

So, what is the purpose of this obituary? Not much except to let you know that this person is not around to be used, of use and or for use.

I could be missed for my sardonic humor or silly memes.

Laugh, live and know that I am somewhere around…

Boo! As Casper would say!

And guess what! I lost all my FAT cells – now light as a feather – the only consolation.

Good bye.

C’est La Vie!

Adieu.

Zai Jian!

TO BE FILLED IN DATE….

The Rigours Of Life & Why It Is Making Me Sad

It is hard to fake happiness and of late, I am under tremendous pressure from family, work and life generally.

I took a good hard look at my life thus far. I have been there for others, always lending a listening ear, helping where I can and doing what I can for strangers, so called friends and family. The returns for this are non existent, not that I am expecting anything.

So when I started receiving the generosity of my Neighbor and her daily care by cooking for me and delivering daily hot meals to me, I became a recipient of love and care that I have never received till now.

Yes, I have been disillusioned in life that friends exist. I remember talking to a retiree once and he shared with me that one is of use and remembered when there is something to be gained.

I agreed with him now as I looked back at the people I helped in businesses, the incorrigible MR EX who is selfish, hurtful and self centred, milking me for every ounce of business contact for business, under the disguise of a potential spouse. He is hardly spouse material as he never cared for me, not in sickness especially. He “cared” only when he wanted something from me.

In looking back at my family members, I too, am deeply disgusted.

A selfish and self centred sister who is the eldest but only puts her own family first and to hell with her birth parents.

A cryptic brother who cannot be bothered if I lived or died so long as I am the person to do the work of taking care of parents, running their errands and doing what they do not wish to do.

Life is then to me, horrible.

It is hard to trust family for me. There is a want and a need, then I belong. Once the want and need is obtained, I am flushed down the sewers again and to be looked for when the next want and need is required.

As for work – it is a commercial arrangement. I work, I get paid.

But the fringe benefits are I get Eunuch who is starting to bully me. What is supposed to be his work, he palms off on me and I am expected to do it. What is especially annoying is when he withholds information for me and am questioned by Monkey Lord and Yul Brynner as to why it is not done?

When push came to shove, I pushed back. Eunuch shouted back at me and said that I was ranting. All I did was to explain to him that whatever he wants for the Covid-19 measures, even if he wants or chooses to interpret his way, against government guidelines, tell me and I will do it as I do not have time for his rubbishy hammering away of playing the semantics in the government’s guidelines.

My point to him was that the Fuddy Duddies are meeting and they are the Supreme Lords. If the government raids the office and asks why no safe distancing or virtual meetings, then it will look really gloriously interesting isn’t it?

I am ok to be branded as stupid, ignorant or highly unintelligent as I do not need people to affirm my own intelligence or lack there of.

Heck, all my life I have had lemons. I have learnt to handle lemony stuff with lemony treats and it does not matter if the world feels I am of use only when useful and discarded when not required.

My family does that to me all the time and I have learnt it.

No point crying.

No point whining.

There is my inanimate furball Garfield who is harmless and never betrays me, instead giving me the warmth of a furball hug.

Laughter is my only solace and comfort.

Life has to go on as I am too chicken shit to end my own life.

I also cannot afford a plane to allow me to skydive without a parachute 😉

Generally Speaking….My Saturday Has Gone To The Wind

It is hard to get out of a routine and I find self waking up at 4.30am as if, time to go for work. I went back to sleep, hugging Garfield tight and squooshing his paws as I like that.

I have been getting an awful lot of leg cramps and am wondering if it is because I am overworked? Probably I think. Or too sedentary, given that I need to sit and work and run to the loo or trot about the office attending meetings.

I have a tall order of chopping headcount and next week I have to release two of them. Never nice to do this really.

I am getting geared up for the annual roaster – me being put before the Fuddy Duddies and roasted like a bird as they give me the eye over for work done or not done. It is a tough one and I hope to survive it. I am prepared either way, booted out or kicked but left to continue in this world of minionhood.

I have much to do. Besides getting really angry at my mum for deciding on her own accord to stop this or that medication on her own. She argues with me, saying what is the big deal! My eyes will glare at her and reply with anger, “what is the big deal? What if you become a vegetative state and my burden of caring for her rises to the nth level? Why not control her heart condition by taking the meds prescribed?”

Her naive answer is “die easily is good” and my retort is if you can die. The issue is one does not die but become in a vegetative state or loses the use of limbs or bodily functions. Then what do i do with the additional burden.

I know it is not easy aging but please do not make it tougher for your caregivers than it already. Families usually have a village to care for their elderly but I am a village of ONE or I often cite the unholy trinity of ME, MYSELF and I.

Life goes on and just finished my work at 3pm to start catching up on my blog posts and reading fellow post blogs.

I wish I had more time to vegetate and watch soapies. I am currently catching 1 hour nightly during dinner time for Chicago Fire Season 5. I love the firefighter characters – Chief Boden, Lts Casey and Severide, Hermann, Otis, Mouch, Dawson, Brett, Capp etc and I love it when the creator Dick Wolf has created integration with Chicago Med, and Chicago PD (crooked cop) and Antonio, brother to Dawson a Chicago Fire.

Still trying to catch up on The Good Doctor, Blue Bloods and FBI series.

I wish I could retire and have economic viability to live out my life without lifting a finger. But with my ailments, I think this is a fantasy as it will not be economically viable.

Happy Saturday folks and we are having a spell of wet weather in Lil Red Dot and I love it as it means water for our lil island.

I am alive.

The hills are alive.

Garfield is inanimate, but to me, he is alive!

Each pain I feel, means I am alive.

Each hurt or heartache is echoing my belief that I am alive.

What if this is all a dream and that actually I am dead?

Hmm……conspiracy theory in the making for sure.