Garfield’s asleep,
Nary a beep!
Silently Garfield sleeps,
Exactly how inanimates sleep.
Garfield on my bed is king,
The corner is his thing.
Garfield hugging is my thing,
Happy, contented – I sing!
Judgemental As Loyalty To Owner Only
Dogs are fiercely protective of the owner.
I know as my dogs were.
They were ferocious guard dogs and other than the occupants of the house of the owner, they were judgemental in that no one else is a person they like.
Dogs are precious and after losing my last dog to heart worms, I swore never to own another live dog.
Hence Garfield my inanimate furball came about. Garfield lives on and on, just shabby from over hugging!
Donating My Cadaver
I shared with some of my close friends and siblings that I chose to donate my cadaver when I leave the human realm and these are their hilarious replies:-
My Sibling1
“BTW, long distance swimming and treading water!😨”
Note1
Obviously Sibling1 has the heart to worry about my ghostly spirit doing long distance swimming and treading water in eternity. Clearly Sibling1 is worried about me getting tired at some point or another. But hey, being dead, so I feel anything? I am unsure but his statement spoke volumes to me.
My Sibling2
“Ha! Ha. Wonder who goes first?”
Note2
Sibling2 is skirting the issue and chose not to comment. I expected this as Sibling2 is not one to talk about death freely and without qualms. A sibling of few words and a polite guffaw.
Mr Docile:
“I cannot applaud this. But you are very brave and am proud of you. I salute you”
Note3
Mr Docile cares a lot about me. I was only blind not to see it. He has never stopped caring for me since the first day I met him. Till this date, I get daily greetings and questions from him on my well being or how am I doing. As to what to make out of his reply, it could be he is not happy about it, but he has to respect my wishes as this is not an easy decision he feels for anyone.
Chicken
“Aiyoh!”
Note4
A lament in Singlish, our colloquial slang!
Ms Legal Eagle
“I always wanted to. I am scared. I want to get rid of my body in the most biodegradable way possible. It would be nice if there is an alternative to burial in lil red dot. Basically, they “plant” you as fertiliser for a tree. Being a tree would be nice.”
Note5
Ms Legal Eagle is a planned out and well thought out person as I suggested for her to be buried in a private property that she buys and no one would know LOL! She said there were laws on proper disposals of the cadaver. She is a good lawyer!
I have a niche ready and my epitaph on it could read as,
“Here lies Garfield Hug 1993 (date bought from ToysR Us till his Master’s Expiration) Whilst Master At Sea!”
I hope you enjoyed and laughed here. It is not macabre. To me, it is addressing a reality of life.
Robotic Garfield
Bird saw this in the display cabinet in a shop at Changi Jewel.
I will not buy it as it is not huggable haha!
Ode To Garfield #22 – Best Pals Forever
Fu Manchu the rat was missing from my inanimate furball Garfield’s life for about 3 years.
Why?
Mum gave it to her friend despite my telling her not to do so when she found Fu Manchu cute and cuddily and I loaned it to her for company.
I was sad as one day when I visited her, I found Fu Manchu missing from his favorite plastic chair.
I was very sad and cross with mum as she ignore my instructions never to give away Fu Fu Manchu as he was a limited edition mascot of Mercedes Benz and was given to me by Mr Mercedes Guy.
Fu Manchu at retail price at that time is $1,200!
Mum retorted by saying that if I wanted it back, she can ask for it back from her friend.
I told her it would be awkward as a gift to take back is oh so very wrong!
I guess mum knew my pain of losing Fu Manchu and last week she retrieved Fu Manchu back for Garfield.
Garfield and pal, Fu Manchu are now reunited, happily and seated side by side in the passenger seats of my car.
Snugly and securely fastened by seatbelts, it is good to have them both together again!
Reunited and it feels so good….reminds me of an oldie song but I forgot the singers’ names!
P.s. I named the rat Fu Manchu as its face reminds me of a character named Fu Manchu in the Pink Panther series – the classic Return Of The Pink Panther (1978)
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Ode To Garfield #21 – All Things Huggable
I am a child of yesteryears I feel as these days, children do not like huggable toys because of artificial intelligence (AI).
This explains the slow death of Children’s programs such as Sesame Street as AI takes over with console gaming, 3D modelling amongst others.
Last evening I had to catch up with Mr Mercedes and I saw a brilliant yellow colored A200 coupe that is souped up with all things AI to capture the millennial market.
A class is the entry level of luxury cars in the Mercedes Benz totem pole of cars.
A class
B class
C class
E class
S Class
Maybach
AMG
E class car paintwork is never loud or eye catching but drabby. When I showed mum the new bright yellow colored car (it brought me back to memory of Transformers colors) photo, she said it was gorgeous.
LOL! Mum is a millennial at heart.
When I asked Mr Mercedes if this yellow hue comes in E class, he said outright that such gaudy colors will never attract a post baby boomer, Gen Xers, Gen Yers or seious businessmen.
Sigh!
Where is the fun right?
Back to Garfield….so now that huggable soft toys are near extinction, I dread the day when Charlie Brown’s Snoopy, Cookie Monster and Disney characters will all end too as no demand for them.
A200 coupe has a function that allows the driver to speak to it like Siri.
As it is, now cars have all the bells and whistles and much of it, I do not even use constantly.
I enjoy the GPS on screen, touch screen functions for SMS to be read aloud to me, a mouse to use, and intelligent warnings on lowered tyre pressures.
But I miss the touchy feely feel of a squoosh and a Garfield Hug.
New children born after 2019 may no longer have the luxury of such toys as iphones, androids, tablets will the main stay of their life.
Farm animals live in the tablets or in the supermarkets in body parts and not alive, strutting on farm land or in its fine feathery plumes.
Where is the warmth?
Where is the humanity – will we become thinkers like androids or robots without conscience and only see black and white?
Will compassion or empathy be lost?
Tic Tac Toe Or Eeeny Meeny Miny Moe!
Getting 3 giants in their own respective fields in the same room as I, is a huge challenge. It is akin to me trying to find my 3 Lords to be together in one room for any meeting.
Surgery has been tossed between Saturday, to Sunday and now it is back to Saturday!
All this is causing me tension and apprehension as it reminds me of the inevitable. I wish it is over soon and I do not need to mull over it.
I hate mulling over decisions and re-thinking. I make decisions like a man and for better or for worst, once I decide, my mind is made up but the doctors keep giving me different views.
What if the histology report comes back and it is non cancerous, would it not be a waste of a surgery? I know it would not be cancerous as lead time has taught me that if the hospital does not alert me within hours, then the tumor is not cancerous.
I remember once, how quickly the hospital reacted to get me to operate on my cervical spine as failure to do so, would render me paralyzed.
It becomes harder to find when the tumor is deflated.
Blah blah blah and it goes on.
My decision is based on management principles.
If a problem is there, let’s solve it. I do not want it lurking out there, waiting to rear its ugly head anytime soon or in the future.
True, if it was not cancerous, would I regret the surgery asked one surgeon?
Would you beat yourself up if after surgery there is a side effect and the tumor could have remained?
*Eyes rolling here*
I replied him “no” as it seems a Whartin tumor or whatever tumor they label it, exists and I do not want it residing in me. Hmm, they could name it the Garfield Hug tumor LOL!
Decision making is hard but my 2 stalwarts agree with me that it should come out.
So, my team of doctors now comprise, Cardiologist, Dr Daniel Yeo; Anesthesiologist, Dr Boey Wah Keong; Gastroenterlogist Dr Lui Hock Foong: Neurosurgeon Dr James Tan Siah Heng, Head Neck and shoulder surgeon, Dr Andrew See; and Neurologist, Dr Lim Chai Beng.
All except Dr Andrew See is a new comer and unto his hands I will entrust the removal of the more worrying tumor whilst the brain tumor is left to Dr James Tan.
How exciting my life is! Sigh!
I could use lesser excitement and more peace really!
Whatever the outcome, I can only look at the skies and as there is little I can do.
I can just hope for the best and wish for the best outcome.
People Who Love Furbies Or Inanimate Furballs
As you would all know, I love my inanimate furball Garfield and this furball would go with me to Bates Motel (*Euphemism for hospital], travel around the world, accompany me on my bed as a huggable object.
I have another colleague who is Ms Legal who collects all sorts of furballs. She particularly likes the brand “Nice” and would bring her different furballs to work and loan them out to colleagues to hug or adorn their work desks.
Prince of Lord does not like this as he strongly advocates hot desking and dislikes us minions bringing furballs to work.
I learnt to toe party line and no Garfield sits on my desk. It is just hard core sweat shop type of desk (thankfully I am not one to be hot desked as human relationships are built on normal same sited desks for other minions to seek out)
Ms Legal when speaking about furballs is soft spoken and almost gentle and kind.
But she has a nasty temper and would shot, scream, slam or throw things if during meetings anyone asks questions.
She is what we call temperamental but fiercely protective of the company.
I remember when I first entered the kingdom of Monkey Lord and she was told to move out of her designated room to let Eunuch occupy it, she was livid.
Prince of Lord had to spend days to placate her and temper her anger.
Many of the Lords would almost always ask what is her “weather vane” or mood swings? LOL!
I am the opposite now. I used to flare up easily in my younger days but what is the point? The Kingdom’s financial gains or savings I make for the Kingdom will never be mine nor will I ever own shares of it.
I have learnt to deliver C standard of work as the A+ standard that I believe in is only valid for my own things.
If C standard gets me by, then it suffices. Why ache over straight A+ work when a passable grade that meets Lord’s expectations is good enough?
Through awful work lords, I learnt that it was no use fighting what is the law of the Kingdom.
I have learnt to let it go and not get upset for work issues, so long as it does not involve me taking on extra load or work that does not fall under my ambit.
Only if I was seeking to do my PhD, will I strive for straight A+ as this would matter to me, myself and I!
Selfish?
Absolutely!
Lazy?
Of course not – I have learnt to be street smart for work matters!
Ode To Garfield & My Dithering
Garfield is my solace,
Always a comfort!
Garfield is hefty,
but cuddly.
Garfield is my stoic inanimate furball.
This week is what I would call “dead week” or in college speak, the week before finals of exams and term ends.
But for me it is for the final week before I am hospitalized at Bates Motel and there is still so much work left to be done. I am worried as my parents will be left to their own devices and if they need help, who can go to them?
I consoled self that I could still function and could discharge self to get to them plus I also asked Chicken for assistance.
It is an even shorter week for me as 2 days is required by me to sort out my parents’ medical appointments and with 3 days left, it is a miracle to close out anything properly as there are so many new things coming in.
The latest debacle was when Eunuch and I had a tiff over the hiring of a “friend”of Lord’s Panel Of Bosses.
I dislike it when Eunuch wants to please everyone and refuses to acknowledge that Mr Push Button was not fit for hire.
Mr Push Button was told to reply to our offer by a given deadline. He refused to do so and I closed the gate with the deadline.
The next thing I knew was that Mr Push Button went to Lord’s Panel Of Bosses who then went to Eunuch to reopen the offering gate.
Mr Push Button claimed that HR was abrupt and that we did not give him time to think!
It seems my department was put on trial and we proved our case that Mr Push Button just knew the right buttons to push.
I was upset with Eunuch as this guy spells trouble.
If Mr Push Button fails to do his job well and we intend to terminate his services, I am sure he will push another button to get us to retract!
I do not like this at all as it seems, we are not hired based on meritocracy but who you know and not what you know.
Mr Bold spoke up as he popped by. He also disliked the button pushing and told me he will handle it. If this Mr Button Pusher is someone that he had to hire, then he will make it so hard for him to work that he will have no choice to leave as he is not competent to do the job expected of him.
I am a principled person. I do not like hiring people without openess – why Eunuch could not be polite to tell us openly that Mr Button Pusher is a relation of someone beats me!
I can only surmise that he wanted to test us.
So when shit hits the fan and the splatter happened, Eunuch then let loose that this Mr Button Pusher is a relation of sorts of the Lord’s Panel of Bosses. I was irate then as asked him why didn’t he openly tell us then and as HR, I will know that incompetent or otherwise, this princely Mr Button Pusher must be hired at all cost.
I threw meritocracy out the window.
In times like this when Eunuch wants to kiss ass, I gotta let him.
The saga continues and we will see how Mr Button Pusher will join us as a minion.
Trouble is on the horizon is all I can say with this moron and I am just sad that Eunuch is spineless. Hence, the name “Eunuch” I coined for him I guess! LOL!
Not Ready For Monday!
I am genuinely not ready for Monday as next week is dead week for payroll to be paid and distributed to minion across 4 countries and it all begins with me.
This payroll is even more important as it contains increments and payment of long awaited bonuses.
The Lords have a Heavenly Panel that do not use much of common sense and rely only on brains. These arm chair Heavenly Panelists chided me as to why payroll for assessment of personnel was paid in June when Financial Year ended in April.
Common sense would dictate that to meet his timeline of payout at April on the dot of closure of financial year, then performance appraisals would need to be done at 5 months within the FY2019. It takes 3 months for the process to be evaluated by the minions supervisors, before it reaches Monkey Lord and Kojack for deliberation.
It takes the Heavenly Panel 3 months to decide on a dollar value budget to be given out for bonuses and they do flip flop a lot.
The final month is then used to generate payroll.
So Eunuch told me to ignore the Heavenly Panel as it was entirely impossible to do performane appraisals at 5 months mark for a years’ performance.
I now know why Monkey Lord is flustered, frustrated and fed up with the Heavenly Panel. I am feeling it too.
So Monday is not fun as Heavenly Panel is now pulling the brakes on both Kojack’s and Monkey Lord’s increment and payment of bonuses.
It means that both these gents payment of increment and bonuses will be further delayed by another month.
Is this fair?
I wish I was Thor, I would send this Heavenly Panel bolts of lightning to enlighten their brain processes! Sheesh!
