Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Heartwarming

Mr Part Time Help age 33 years old hails from Bangladesh.

He has been helping me out with chores for the last few years such as cleaning my pigeon hole and washing my car.

Living in the rural, he makes up a headcount of those who are poor and decided to leave his home in Bangladesh in search of bigger dollars to remit home and support his mother, new wife and siblings.

As the sole breadwinner, he lost his father when he was 3 years old and he never the opportunity to attend school as his mum had to fend for survival to take care of his brothers and sisters.

Finally with the family living in a zinc roofed hut, he recently took a match made bride aged 18 years 2 years ago. Throughout the 2 years he only saw his wife less than 3 months in total.

Mr Part Time has lived and worked in lil red dot for 6 years now and he is trying to start a family.

I could see the twinkle in his eye as he happily told me that his wife was visiting him in lil red dot today and that her flight would touch down in lil red dot at 1pm. He shared that he bought new clothes to change into and greet her at the airport.

I was happy to get up at 7am this morning to wait for his part time help. I knew he would be in a rush and immediately last evening rolled up sleeves to wash my own car to help him. This way, I shortened his required hours to work at my place.

Big mistake though as today, my spine is screaming “murder of the spine” as I hurt.

I am a serious car washer LOL! I literally use a toothbrush to get into the crevices of the steel sports rim ha ha! To me it is therapeutic but it is tough on the spine.

Like him, I have lived abroad too and knew the feeling of what it was like to anticipate the arrival of a loved one.

He was cheerful and told me that his wife could only bring some shallots or small onions and garlic bulbs as gifts for me as she is not strong and cannot carry too many things. He often shared with me that the grade and quality of small onions and garlic I bought from supermarkets were of “inferior” quality than those of Bangladesh as it is grown there.

The ones I buy from the supermarket are imported from China.

His love for his match made bride is touching. He gave her respect and love – this is pivotal and though he is uneducated, he knows the basic principle of love.

In listening in on EL’s sermons or berations at work that last more than 6 hours, he would boast to us of how his wife “served” him. The image he shared of his wife is one like a subservient maid.

He bragged of how children of his are protected and not necessary to protect his wife because if his wife died, he can find another – but not children as they have his DNA.

I was appalled with his description of “love” for his wife. How she has to place his wallet, car keys and things he would need for going out. I once remembered how EL scolded me for not “behaving” like his wife – he thought I was like his maid

On Friday evening he shared in his sermons of how “stupid and idiotic” his Filipina maid was. Simply put, his children were not served cut fruits and his fruits all rotted in the fridge!

To me, this showed how spoilt and pampered the entire family was, children included – suddenly everyone in the household lost their limbs such that they cannot walk to the fridge and wash, cut their own fruits for self consumption?

If one wants to eat fruits, just go help selves isn’t it? Why blame the maid for not anticipating when one would like to have fruits?!

EL is uneducated too but slightly more educated than Mr Part Time Help as EL studied 9  years of formal school but only paid attention from Primary 5 onwards and could only recite the alphabets at age 11.

Comparatively speaking, EL pales beyond comparison to uneducated Mr Part Time Help as the latter has empathy, love and respect for others.

EL is selfish, evil and does things that only benefit himself and not others. His lavish donations are often related to us in his sermons and how he uses donations to “buy respect and stature”

I learnt an invaluable lesson from Mr Part Time Help – responsibility, love, respect for people. It does not take education to teach us but the innate kindness or respect from within.

I wish both Mr & Mrs Part Time Help an enjoyable reunion in lil red dot and may they conceive the child they do desperately want as a member of their family.

As for EL, my deepest condolences and sympathies to his wife as she is nothing more than the incubator of the fruits of his loins, his caregiver, chauffeur, laundry lady and household manager. I hope she is happy.

13 Comments »

Life’s Vissicitudes #2

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These are seriously painful words in lessons I have learnt in life thus far.

I openly admit experiencing each of the described sentences.

Am I smarter? I hope so..

Is it less painful? Never….

Are my losses big? Horrendously yes! Buckets of tears, sweat and cussings!!😂

Loved? Yup…a moron and I fell in love but I think we both ended up as morons! As morons go…we both lost!😈

Trouble is, these days, the new economy is setting in.

People are nonchalant and push responsibilities.

Where they can assign blame, they can and will do. So long as shit happens…they will stare at you and give you glassy eyed stares.

Yup! I am describing my work scene. But isn’t this true?😨

These days, it is who that can best push the blame to….survives.

The 5 letter word “sorry” does not exist in these hideous people’s vocabulary!

Hideous?! I am not describing witches or wizards with crooked noses but ugly ugly souls!!

Today 2 of my minions broke policy and approved expenses on their own.

Miss No Manners who finds it an aberration of words to say “sorry” (*literally to the tune of Sorry seems to be hardest word!!) would often give me that glass eyed look as if I am speaking in tongues to her.

I hate this!

I truly dislike people who make mistakes but tend not to open up and admit mistakes made so that we can fix it and move on!

All the covert activities she tries to do is, obvious paper wrapping fire!

In the end, the truth prevails as my paw print must appear before any funds can be paid.

I know she is dishonest but I want her to learn….she is no spring chicken and a mother of 2…the leastI can do is inculcate good habits in her and for her to teach or show by example to her children.

Shit happens….so for me…”clean up on aisle 3″…..darn…where is my mop and pail😉

Venting over….thank you for your tolerance😊

6 Comments »

Community Programs

I have a soft spot for seniors as I have seen too many of them destitute or without support from children.

So, to put my words to efforts, I took on a voluntary role to support seniors and create programs with North East Community Development Council.

Mr Hello Hello motivated me to do things in an organised manner as I was doing social community work singularly and on my own accord.

5 years on, I am not disappointed as I see the fruits of labor.

Happy seniors, properly engaged and with proper activities.

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Sharing some our programs for Seniors as well as Children’s School Money Pocket Fund with you.

If you are a Singaporean reading this and want to join in, feel free to do so.

Qualifications are:
Kind and giving heart
Patience
Ability to communicate with seniors – this comes naturally!

Serving our seniors….as one day, I too will become old 😉

2 Comments »

Today Is 15th Of Mid Autumn Festival

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Happy mid autumn festival all and may peace, love and blessings abound in your home. 🙂

My neighbor who lives a floor below me text me yesterday with her good wishes for this occasion and sent across the picture I posted.

She gave me a box of single egg yolk moon cake in liang rong from the prestigious Shangri La. She is sweet and I appreciate her kindness:)

I loved the box though.

It was an ornate red cloth fabric with bamboo and white floral print amidst pseudo leather casing with 4 tiny drawers made from cardboard and each drawer housed a moon cake wrapped in plastic.

As if the mystique a d aura of what in door numbers 1 to 4 has in store!

Half the fun (for me, it is the box that I like) is the decorative boxes that hold the moon cakes.

Deviating from the old fashioned square boxes, some shops retail these moon cakes in canisters (I use them to hold tea bags after, great recycling efforts on my part), boxes made to be carried like handbags or red acrylic boxes with an emblem of pseudo jade to give it a regal quality.

My friend from Hong Kong…H (H used to work with me in a company located  near the ferry point to Jumbo Floating Restaurant) sent me a more kiddy greeting.

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Just like H – he is like me…a child inside. H married an ogre and he quit from the marriage and is now happily single and running his own business.

As I reminisced over my days working and living in Hong Kong (HK), I remember this is the time of waxed ducks, waxed sausages and claypot rice. Yummy as the chilly nights of HK begin

I used to trot to ‘Tong Lor Wan’ for “Aunty’s Soups” translated from Cantonese “Ah Yee Leng Tong” – dinner would be a bowl of piping soup literally!

I met 2 boyfriends there. I could not fall in love with one called M and instead fell in love with a Singaporean commuter called P.

P fell out – I was not rich enough then, strugglinh graduate on first job. P was a head honcho with a financial company.

Just as well or else I would have married an ogre too LOL!

P hangs around just as M does but we are still friends.

M is still single as he is an entrepreneur and figures if he cannot find the right woman, he better stay single or fight alimonies.

M moved to Shanghai and lives in a mansion as he always dreamed of 4 poster beds with sprawling mansion.

In land scarce Singapore or HK…quite hard really!

As for P, he is much like the Cockerel shown after marriage.

Shredded, feathered and tarred with little voice in marriage.

His conscientious choice to pick $ over true love….his own doing and no amount of whining would appease his heart I guess.

All I can do is listen and pat his shoulder with sarcastic reminders…your choice remember….$!

P says till to date, I am his “soul mate” of which I smile with sarcasm…”ya right…maybe because of my current stature, mingling with Dukes and Duchesses of Yore that makes me validated as a “soul mate”

If I was the same non descript human…hmm…I would be plankton
😀

18 Comments »

The Man Who Made Me Love Garfield

I had a good relationship with the man who influenced me heavily on Garfield, my inanimate furball.

“Had”?

Why?

We both fell in love.

He claimed soul mate status. He did the most amazing outlandish things.

He could Wow!!

I claimed unsure status.

Garfield became our “love child” and I started getting Garfields.

When I am happy, there is a Garfield.

When I am sad, there is a Garfield.

On an anniversary, there is a Garfield.

On an occasion, there is a Garfield.

In sickness and in health, there is a Garfield.

Garfields galore and like Pavlov’s dogs, I was attached to Garfield.

Garfield = Man!!

I mused to self and told this man that the oldest Garfield and my favourite is now 22 years old.

The man replied me, ” 22 years is a lot in cat years. Garfield must be worn, tattered and old”

Man is not incorrect. I can see the worn out Garfield paws from too much squooshing.

Cataracts in the eyes as the black paintwork on irises are erased as Garfield is hugged face down nightly and clung on tightly as if the child in me is afraid Garfield would slide off and fall to the floor.

475 Garfields….Man has a made a point in my life.

Man must have loved and cared about me.

What Man did not know was that he never gave me security.

Here today, gone tomorrow was his modus operandi.

If he appears, he appears like Houdini.

When he disappears, poof he vanishes!

I could love him for dollars or Garfields but I am made of integrity.

I could not sell my soul, my heart nor my brain to such a Man.

Plus Man asks if he could sell my organs!! He is odd!!

Technically, this is Garfield’s pops!

Gawd, for my inanimate furball to have such a father figure, I think my poor furball is in need of counselling.

Meanwhile Man wears spectacle frames without lenses – Ion Spectacles…sheesh….easy to con Man!

Ion spectacles is as good as pet rocks picked from rock pile and sold at a premium.

Life of an avant garde…such is Man and never the twain shall we meet 😀

17 Comments »

My Stash

Sister flew in from Auckland this evening.

She is to stay a night at our parents’ home before having her son fly in tomorrow and leave for Bali for her own family’s vacation.

This is her hub point to go to Bali for sun, sand and sea.

Flying all the way out from New Zealand only to spend less than 24 hours with her parents is a sad experience for our parents.

She returns once a year and can only afford less than a day in a year!

Sheesh!

Grandson will not even get to see his omar (grandma) and gong gong (grandpa). He is flying straight from Auckland to Changi Airport and meet his mum in transit to hop onto a plane for Bali.

I disagree on my sister’s treatment of her parents.

My parents are the least calculating and most generous in giving us things, including and not limited to just monies.

Yet, I cannot fathom why she can turn away and not spare a couple of days in a year for them out of her vacation. Even when my mum was hospitalised earlier this year, she denied responsibility and told me not to disturb her unless it was end times! ;-(

I feel for my parents.

I am not a parent and never will be, as I dislike kids. Why? They remind me of my selfish siblings.

I was once taught that it was my siblings’ choice.

Their choice to treat my parents as they choose.

I do not understand nor do I see their way of think thoughts.

I was told not to impose my will to them to see things my way! But seriously..  hmm what way is there to see things?

Western teaching allows a child to ignore their parents as they move on in their lives.

Confucian teaching in my culture teaches fiial piety. My parents are my care as they brought me up.

It is said in our culture if you have a daughter, you lose her once she marries to the tiger mom in laws.

If you have a son, you also lose him as his tiger wife will disallow him from going home to his maternal family.

Both rang true for my folks.

I am smarter….not to marry or actually the truth is no man wanted me LOL!

Maybe I am a hideous ogress?

Toothless with a hunch back?

Or a nicer way of putting it is, my knight in shining armour did not sign up for a wifi plan and his blue tooth pairing failed to connect to me 😉

Neither do I want to be a daughter in law nor a wife to a mummy’s boy who is hen pecked by big momma!

But not all is true as some children really dote on their parents; single or married.

I guess it the luck of the draw.

Or I call it karma. Maybe past life my sister was ill treated by her current mum and dad. This life she ill treats them back.

Evil thing this karma is…..

As for my brother, he is hen pecked by Lizard.

If Lizard does not endorse his exit permit or “home affairs visa”, he cannot see his mum or dad.

Such is parenthood. Whoever said parenthood is 100% joy, I’d say think again. Children are forever children in the eyes of parents, regardless of age.

But children never see selves as children and today’s strawberry generation sees a selfish strain of future adults that puts self before others.

I wonder what my little red dot will be like 50 years from now with this type of adults who grew up on social media? Selfish, self centred or?

I will not know as I will be probably be very dead by then! Dead as a door nail 😀

For mothers with children…don’t have expectations. It is saddest waiting for kids to return and they don’t.

Live, breed, let go…..

If they return, they return.

If they don’t, so be it.

Others will love you…be it a stranger, a neighbor or a cat or dog or inanimate furball like my Garfield who let you hug it to bits!

Garfield hugs to all 🙂

9 Comments »

Home

Home is where the heart is.

Home is where my mum and dad are.

Home is my little red dot, Singapore.

My mum’s recent hospitalisation reminds me of the frailities of life and ageism.

Her recent hospitalisation show me how much she has aged.

I remember her younger days, driving us to school in the wee hours of the morning and returning to fetch us home.

Sorching or searing sun; rain, thunderstorm or blinding rain, my mum waited for us. My personal “chauffeur”!

She did housekeeping, ironing, cleaning, changing bed linens and all cooking of meals. My personal “maid”

When I am ill she takes care of me, seeing me through all my hospitalisations, marathon surgeries, fiercely protective of me.

When mum fell in, it was my turn to take care of her. But I paled beyond comparison 😥

But I am ashamed as I cannot do more or even match what she has done for me 😣

I could only ensure that I find the right doctors to take care of her and remind her to take her medications and rest. I could only worry 😰

So when the doctor rang me at 6pm last evening to say mum was well enough to go home, I was so happy.

I sought doctor’s help to allow my mum for a late discharge so that I can be her chauffeur!

I am ever so grateful to Chicken who came after her work to help me wheelchair my mum to the lobby so that I can drive over to pick them.

I could not even offer Chicken a lift home as I have poor road sense and sleeping less than a couple of hours a night made it worst. Chicken understood and shooed me home.

Chicken bought mum her favorite cherries.

M had also offered to help me. Poor M has the flu too and I felt it was best she rested.

I have these two great friends…gems :mrgreen:

Yes, home….it is good to be home…and mum is happy to be home though she is chesty and frail.

I love my parents and like every son and daughter…we all love our parents 💕💕💕

Peace, love and good health to all your parents and loved ones 💛💜💚💗

13 Comments »

Love – 爱

爱是一个非常好的感受。

没有爱, 我们没有今天。

我们要爱自己才能爱别人。

除了爱父母 – 我认为是最伟大的爱, 我也好爱读书和我哪个加啡猫哈哈! 不是真正的猫,是抱着的玩具!

爱也可以害我。

如果我爱上个不好的男人, 我肯定是完蛋!

我觉得那首歌”爱上一个不回家的男人” 好悲哀。

在唱k的时候听到这首歌我会想到我那个瓜! 😦

爱到底是一个幻想吗?

Love gives us a good feeling most times and we must be able to love ourselves inorder to love others.

Apart from parental love, which is the highest order of love to me, I love studying and of course my Garfield, the inanimate fur ball. Ha ha! These are examples of love in simplest forms.

Love can also hurt us.

If one falls in love with a wrong man, we are finished! *in my books 😉

There is a song that I often hear in Karaoke lounges titled, “loving a man who never goes home” – it is a sad song and whenever someone sings it, I feel the pain of the singer.

It also invokes the unpleasant encounters of love that I have been through.

(**my first attempt at a bilingual post to see if I returned my Chinese to my teacher ha ha! )

My apologies to my Chinese readers if this is poorly written 🙂

Love is an illusion….a feel good moment that does not last really….cynical me of course….ha ha

2 Comments »

A Voice From The Undead….My Ex Boyfriend Speaketh

I tend to categorize my ex boyfriend as the “undead” as he cannot seem to let silence prevail. I allude to the victims of Count Dracula, whose blood once sucked becomes an “undead” stalking other victims of freshly produced blood for vampires to feed from 😉

My ex is some what famous. He is often seen in the press (both digital and print media) as he loves to be in the limelight. If he was not advertising for something, being asked to comment on something or attracting media, he would be contributing to the Forum pages.

Truth be told, I have not seen much of this Ex in the papers and I thought, ohhhh good, he is now contained by his family and leading a quiet life.

It takes a long while to get the Ex out of my system as he is toxic and I had to be cleansed….just like as if I was soaking in the Ganges River or bathing in the Rivers of Babylon LOL! 😀 Actually, it is more of trying to forget the times or things we shared doing together. It is these memories that kills most times!

I received an email from my Ex saying he is now on the way to Vietnam from USA and would be back this week! Next week he would be off to Vietnam again.

Cryptic message….but what has this got to do with me. He has a bimbo and 2 bimbii girls to be with, so who cares where he is 😉

Thankfully, this week is fast ending as it is coming Thursday. Friday will roll along and before I know it, he will disappear into the world again.

I remember once being woken up around midnight to a voice saying, ” Sorry I only read your message now” and I could swear it was his voice and being crappy woken up on a work day the next, I snapped “who’s this” and I guess he realised he must have dialled the wrong number and quickly said, ” wrong number” and clicked off!

I do not want this Ex anywhere remotely near me. Given my state of in between jobs, I do not have the energy nor the mindset to deal with him in any civil tones and if he does, I may poke his butt with a 10 foot pole! HA HA!!

I am happy that he is doing well in business in USA and other parts of the world. One thing I am sure of is that he is a great entrepreneur and is one of those chaps that can effectively sell ice to eskimos and charm the birds down from trees!

So, all I can tell self is….stay away from this ex…he spells trouble and for now, I do not need more trouble! 😦

9 Comments »

Me No Speaketh Hindi, Tamil or Bangla But Hey I Love Bollywood Movies!

I am perhaps odd too in the areas of watching movies on the goggle box.

It has been years since I have stepped into the cinema to watch a movie, any movie. In fact, I seem to have lost touch in the Hollywood movie scene and I think the last movie I watched was Thor. Gulp! I must be antiquated 😉

Lately I noticed that not only have I started diligently watching K Pop drama serials, I have also tuned in to Vasantham Channel, watching Hindi or Tamil movies.

Today I watched an episode of how a Tamil singer (almost town star status) who is married but falling in love with a music teacher. The movie did not condone infidelity but the Hindu teachings of love and tolerance within a married couple and devout belief in Hinduism.

Tamil singer hits rock bottom as he tries to forget this new love and becomes an alcoholic. School teacher is an orphan, born out of wedlock and meets her mother who is now married to the town judge, who is also a big fan of Tamil Singer JKB.

School teacher bears a daughter to JKB and gives the child to the wife of JKB who is barren and leaves.

It brought tears to my eyes watching this poignant, heart rending movie which showed love between the two illicit lovers but yet, cannot materialising a legal status though the wife open admits that JKB can only be saved from his alcoholism if school teacher returns.

Sacrifice, love…..is love so painful?

Love Life is like a Bollywood movie or at least mine seems that way too.

There is no happily ever after. Sigh!

Humans angst over love, marries and loses love as they realise not all marriages seemed the way it would be. Humans find new attractions and yet loses.

Today I received an email from the “grave” or at least I thought this was where my Ex boyfriend has gone to…..the “grave abyss of the world.”

As usual, his email was short….it seems he is travelling and that he is now in Uncle Sam’s Country, en route to Rice Paper Rolls Country and back to little red dot after and leaving again in a week to Rice Paper Rolls Country again.

He painted self as a person just living out of a suitcase, no mention of his bimbo! Typical male.

I wondered on the message and what it meant. To me, I felt he wanted to justify his silence and Houdini disappearance act to remind me that he is ALIVE like fungi, hard to remove so long as the atmosphere allows the growth of fungi.

I can see self doing a Hindi scene of singing and dancing my sorrows and hugging a huge tree trunk before I roll on the ground at a Hindu temple to ask Lord Krishna, WHY?!!

Or, I can see self singing alongside a sea coast amidst crashing waves as I stand on a rock mound, with tears coming down and ruining my heavy mascaraed eye! LOL!

Ok Ok so fungi is around….now I have to whip out CIF or Mr Muscle to scrub the fungi from the toilet tiles…this way, it does not eat into the floor tiles of the toilet and leave an ugly stain 😀

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