Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Hard To Let Go

I find that in life, the hardest thing is to let go of things. Letting go is easier said than done.

It could mean dying and not wanting to leave behind loved ones.

It could mean leaving a loveless or loving relationship. This takes great courage regardless of reasons, rationale or otherwise.

It boils down to regrets.

I don’t wish to leave with regrets and do strive towards doing things to the best of my ability, trying my best never to harm, hurt or cause pain and suffering.

It is difficult as I am an imperfect person. I may unknowingly hurt or cause pain and suffering to others.

I do admit that I often deliberately inflict guilt onto especially those without a conscience.

Sadly, these buggers do not seem affected by it! Hmmm…as if I could be a genie and walk them through their lack of conscience!!

Good news for me is that my dear Mr Architect who moved to Beijing is coming home for 3 weeks.

I do miss his sharing of architectural designs and views of this or that new building or yak about Corbu or Borromini’s walls!

My hacking cough is lighter after I started Cravits 750mg. 6 more days to go.

I also inhale Seretide at night to sleep better.

Danzen helps me too.

Ah well, Monday I will get my lungs checked by Dr Lui. Maybe he can turn on a Dyson and vaccum my lungs haha!

Meanwhile 3rd Aunt is in a palliative ward. She is stable save for lung infection and will soon need a catheter.

I pray she does not suffer.

I know what it is like to suffer and take meds….sometimes I too, want to give up.

My epitaph could read…

“I lived. I died. I cried. I hurt. I hated… of Garfield Hug, definitely not a saint!😝


Valentine’s Day

Yup…another commercialisation of gift days are on the horizon.

I share what it was like with MR EX.

MR EX started with the 99 rosses and escalate to 199 roses. He soon realised his pocket had a huge hole as roses were jacked up during Valentine’s Day.

MR EX, with his glib tongue, then swore on his heart (*he had none by the way😉), creatively saying that he would make me happy, every single day and not just on Valentine’s Day!

I give him credit for creative lies.

I find it hard that despite the years we were together, I cannot find it in my heart to even remain friends with him.

Regrettably the bullshit he gives is not acceptable anymore as his ethics, principles or morality and selfishness reign supreme.

It is my mindful decision on 23 December 2017 that MR EX can never be a friend as he does not even know how to be one.

Que sera sera!


3rd Aunt Is Dying Of End Stage Liver Cancer

Some days back I posted a short blog entitled “2 Sisters”

I am now not too emotional to write a bit more as I was really bummed out last Saturday when I saw how my mum and her sister met.

My mum had a fall in late January 2018 and when her elder sister found out, she was distraught. Though she is in end stage liver cancer and ridden with pain, she insisted for her daughter to make a trip to see my mum.

My 3rd aunt lost her husband some 6 months ago and shortly after the death of her husband, she was diagnosed with liver cancer.

3rd Aunt cannot accept the fact that she has liver cancer and her attending oncologist has presented a death sentence of 6 to 8 months!

I hate these “death sentences” as it does nothing really to help anyone, other to remind relatives and self that you have an expiry date.

Still, I have had a neighbor who defied the odds of “6 to 8 months” end stage breast cancer to live on and on – it is now more than 3 years since she was “sentenced”

3rd Aunt’s husband was a gambler, but not a compulsive gambler. He knew when to stop and provide for the family. He never left the family without food. 3rd Aunt has 3 children and growing up years for her was tough. My mum assisted as she knew this elder sister was a housewife and rather timid.

My mum shared that she used to stand up to anyone who bullied this elder sister.

3rd Aunt’s husband loved 3rd Aunt a lot and when she was diagnosed with end stage liver cancer, many shooked their head and said that her husband had wanted her to be with him.

I was really sad to see 3rd Aunt being ferried in a wheelchair and had to be propped up to sit on the sofa. She had 20 minutes to visit as her morphine dosage will wear out.

My cousin shared on entry, the death sentence! I hated it and told her to be positive and that with the right hospice and palliative care, 3rd Aunt can be given the right medical care. For now, they have selves and a newly minted Indonesian domestic helper to care for 3rd Aunt.

I was told that 3rd Aunt refused to be in a hospice and so, I sat and convinced 3rd Aunt that if her pain was not managed, she could not eat. Without food, she will get weaker. This is a vicious cycle and that I wanted her pain free and with the ability to eat.

I spurred her on to live life to the fullest. Do not moan or gripe why me, I said. Be strong and once the pain meds are administered, she will feel better. Also with other patients and visitors, she will be cheered up instead of staying in 4 walls with a foreign helper.

When 3rd Aunt had to leave for home, I saw how tenderly both sisters hugged and cried. Mum cried because, she knew that her sister will not be around for much longer and that this may be the last time she will see her.

I cried because, I could see how much they loved each other. If and when 3rd Aunt passes on, mum will only have one sister left and this sister is not a nice one. She behaves like my own sister and I guess this is where the genes come from.

I pray for 3rd Aunt to live through Chinese New Year so that she can be with her family a little longer and for my mum to feel better to be able to see her again.

I would give years off my life to 3rd Aunt to live a little more, pain free and happy. Afterall, I am single and I do not need many years of my life.

Blessings and good wishes for 3rd Aunt to have a pain free time left with us.


2 Sisters

2 sisters meet,

1 with end stage liver cancer and ridden with pain, elder of the 2.

The other with old age but armed with a sharp wit.

Crying & hugging,

Both recount their childhood.

Old age sister loves older sister with end stage liver cancer and they swop tales of their hardship.

In 20 minutes, sister with end stage cancer has to leave as her pain will kick in once her morphine wears off.

As Sister with end stage liver cancer is helped up from sofa, both hug and cried uncontrollably.

Sister with end stage cancer had asked her daughter to drive her to see old age sister.

As Sister with end stage liver cancer was wheeled out of door, she said, ” where blood arteries flowed without blockage, there can be true sisterly love!”

I cried.


And So The Story Goes #76 – Insist, One Word Prompt

5.30pm….I receives a text message from MR EX.



“Kopi?” (*colloqual Malay to mean time for coffee break)


The moronic MR EX thinks if he insists and acts like nothing happened after our World War 3 war of words just like Kim Jong un and Trump, he better think again.

I ignored him for an hour and then replied.


“1. You are not forgiven.

2. You did not apologise.

3. $0.90 cheapo teh o kosong (*colloqual Malay for tea without sugar) at a cheap food court is just not my style.

4. You think after all the crap you did, it is expunged? Think again. Amnesty International does not apply to you.”


Within an instant his reply is texted back.



“I am in a meeting now. We talk tomorrow”


“I have nothing worth talking to you”

“I don’t wish to be in a loveless or unappreciative relationship that makes me a “gap filler” & all my previous messages has said it all. Until & unless there is, which I doubt, my position is final. Good bye”


There you have it, my insistence to MR EX to go hither, disappear and poof….he is not the only one that can insist! I can better insist, desist and ensure he does not exist! 😉

Yes….I am evil!😝


So True For My Mr Ex

I am admittedly quite naughty to pop over to Facebook to peek at what rubbishy posts that MR EX posts.

I do this not because I ‘stalk’ him but because I seek new laughs.

If one needs to identify an ‘idol’ or ‘icon’ of sorts to worship, one should just go and buy a stuft toy or pick a stone to worship instead of ‘wahhing’ or ‘oohing’ over the fakeness of his magnamity.

His posts are usually reeking of loyalty, honesty or how generous he has been.

One can see pictures of him amongst the seniors in a home or foreign labor type workers in dormitories. The photo effects feed his ego, nothing more.

I often wonder why he needs to be seen as a saint on a pedestal when in truth he is a devil in disguise and if you look closely, his 2 horns are well hidden and the tail tucked nicely.

I always emphasized empathy, compassion and love to him. From the heart and not from the mouth I used to remind him.

It fell on deaf ears.

Loyalty is extinct to him as he would sell his mum for $1 if required.

MR EX is a typical loner. In fairness, if and when he drops his showmanship antics, a gentle and kind hearted man lies within.

These are rare and few moments as it is often shrouded in lies, hoo hahs and noise.

It seems as if he is almost afraid to be allowed vulnerability. He is guarded at all times with a fixation of accumulating wealth.

Fame, prestige, recognition and social stature is pivotal to him.

He “teaches” loyalty and posts articles on loyalty and conversely of betrayals by his “besties” for backstabbing him in business from behind.

An old staff of his who became my good friend shared how her father was nearing bankruptcy and needed funds fot treatment of cancer.

She put the family home to be sold to get cash. Price valuation by valuers said it was $2.35 million. Offers for the property hovered around that value.

Knowing how generous her boss or my MR EX was in his posts, she approached him to see if he was interested in buying at the valuation price.

She was stunned when he offerd $2 million, take it or leave it. He knew of her dire situation but he wanted to stiff her of $350,000 so that he can reflip and sell the house.

Such is but one story of MR EX.

We both laughed at his loyalty post on Facebook.

She was loyal to her boss, now EX Boss.

He was never loyal to employees or business partners. He is loyal to cash though!



I have one word to describe the behavior of my bro-in-law who showed up with Statues yesterday evening – OBNOXIOUS!

If I  had a choice, I would not have gone over to mum’s last evening but I needed to, as I had to clear their errands for the house.

On arrival I saw him and I politely greeted him. He ignored me and went to the kitchen window to face the outside.

He then stomped to the living room area and told my father that ” I do not wish to be in the same room as her”

My father, as usual, did not stand up for me.

The background to this was that I am the Fall Guy because, my asinine bro-in-law, assumes that his ideas for Ikea furnishing for the new house was lampooned out the window my me!

Gee! I was not even a party to that decision and my parents had no gumption to tell him in his face that Ikea is not suitable for Asian cooking style of a kitchen or spot lights.

Being old, they are imbued in Asian style living and wanted bright lights – not the western warm lighting style.

But because I obtained quotes from the 3 parties and my parents decided on one, whatever the designer suggested was based on the likes of my mum.

Kitchen is her domain. Lightings had to be practical and bright as they needed bright lights – for citizens in their late eighties, they cannot tolerate dim lights.

I installed grab bars for their safety. Bro-in-law never put self in their shoes and did not see it in their eyes as seniors who need certain aides for their movement.

Sigh! I felt really hurt and upset. I explained to Statue that whatever I do is in the role of minion. I act according to the instructions of my parents, tailoring to their needs. I cannot impose my likes or views as I respect their choices.

In front of Statue, we went through selection of the roller blinds. Mum insisted on a particular color and the curtain blinds vendor is now on a task of selecting a special mustard yellow that is Mum’s favorite color for her room.

With that, I explained to Statue and Nephew that it is really uncalled for and ruddy rude of her husband and nephew’s dad to behave that way to me.

One cannot impose what one likes to others! Respect the needs and wishes of seniors is my behavior.

I felt really horrid last night after that encounter with the OBNOXIOUS man.

Sometimes, I wonder why my father would never speak up for me…*face palms…I forgot, I am not his favorite daughter!


So…Monday Begins…

Monday! Gee whiz and we are into day 8 of January 2018!

I had another medical scare last week and thankfully the doctor saw me immediately on Saturday, keeping his clinic open till then.

I thought I had cancer! He assured me that it was unlikely but I will need to do another test this Saturday to re-confirm it. For now, the tissue sample he has taken will await days to see if infection is apparent too.

I am tired. I wish I could really rest but I cannot as my parents house move is next week and I did openly tell mum that if the test proves to be cancerous, then I will need surgery but I will do so after I ensure that their move is done.

I have been going through their list of things and short of the physical move, all other paper work is duly completed, pending handover of the old flat on 20 February 2018 and transfer of season parking to the new block.

Life…and its lemons but what can I do but laugh right?

Next week will be even more stress for me as my ex siblings a.k.a “Statues” I call them will be in town. I firmly told dad to let his precious two preferred children to shut their trap and let me complete the move.

They have not offered assistance and I have had to seek help from my 3 friends to assist me with the operational move as singularly me alone, cannot be split into thirds! I cannot afford to have them aggravate my friends too who committed their annual leave day for my sake!

By appearing and the 2 statues think that they can be “supervisors” and point here and there, I told dad firmly, I will walk out of the move and I do not care if it was midway or otherwise. Dad has a habit of always playing the good guy and I am sick and tired of it as when push comes to shove, none of his 2 precious will roll up sleeves to get things done!

I cannot have contradicting instructions to the people on the ground as packing and unpacking has to be closely coordinated. It must move and end like clockwork.

I just need a break to regain sanity and will be so glad when January 15 2018 ends as it means I can breathe and slowly catch up on the bits and pieces of remaining aspects of the move.

The renovations have gone well and short of small amendments, the new unit is ready for occupancy.

I know that in reality I can only breathe better after February 13 2018 as other errands can close for mum and dad which also arrived on my plate.

Right now my plate has the main ingredients:


Closure of all utility accounts and incidentals relating to old unit and hooking up new unit

Main Course

Physical move of old unit items to new unit and handover of old unit.

Plus another major project to conclude.


Transfer of season parking and having the roller blinds put in for new unit

God speed is all I can wish for self and to ensure I do not keel over and die anytime soon. Though it will make me very happy to depart from this earthly realm! LOL! Let freedom fly then……far from the maddening crowd of moronic blood siblings and a father that never appreciates me, despite whatever I do to help, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week!



Solutions Not Easily Found – Part 3

I too have my own trials.

Dad’s memory is worsening and mum called, crying over the phone that they both tried finding their way to my home but got lost for 5 hours before going home at 10pm.

Mum was worried about me and had wanted to pop by with food for me.

She was sad because her useless eldest daughter made her visit to her as an enroute to their holiday destination.

I knew that! I told mum not to be upset as sis does not care. In her mind the 2 old folks is in the way of her to get her hands on her due inheritance.

What sickens me is that if anyone wants inheitance, shouldn’t one put in the time to care for the seniors before encoffing them? Oops! They both made it clear they were not chipping in to pay for any funeral. Sigh! 

I have no answers for mum.

I knew from a long time back that her eldest daughter and youngest son did not care about them.

It was about money. 

If and when they croak, useless bro and Lizard can buy 3 properties in HK and live like lords.

Meanwhile useless sis will add to her stable of properties in NZ ensuring that her only son need not ever have to work a day in his adult life as he will have a huge amount of inheritances from his mum, my “wonderful” ex sister!

Don’t you just agree with me that there are no solutions to life’s lemons.

I often ask self where is the parity…for one who spends time and money to get equal share versus 2 others to do nothing to get equal shares?

I put forth this question to both my useless siblings, citing filial piety asking them each if they felt ashamed getting something out of doing nothing for their parents well being?

And so this is how the fight started…I am Jimminy Cricket and they want me to expire so that 50% each is better!

I am an obstacle and boy do I intend to be their boulder on their conscience.

But I doubt they have a conscience…sigh!

All I can do is look up at ths skies and wonder how will their lives end in the future?


Solutions Not Easily Found – Part 1 

I have not been catching up with Bird 🐥and Chicken🐔of late as we have all been busy.

So when I could since I was resting at home, I was deeply saddened.

Chicken as always keeps a positive outlook sharing that her Mum in law aged 85 years is contemplating brain surgery as her “screws” were loose.

She shared that the CEO of in laws *her bro in law* called for an AGM of all shareholders i.e. all children and their spouses.

“It was a match fixer as there was no democracy” she texted. CEO put down his foot and said MIL is opting for operation. All will pay equal shares for hospital bill!

Without surgery MIL will have 2 to 3 years of life left!

Gee! At age 85 years MIL desperately wants to live on and on till 150 years old whereas I was ready to cash in all my chips!

I offered to Chicken that her MIL can have whatever years left of my life for her use. I do not need to live on and on as I don’t wish to. Life is literally a pain to me.

Chicken then shared that her MIL then went to obtain an oracle from the Goddess of Mercy.

She texted a laughing emoji and said that the oracle advised her against going for operation as she would die immediately. This means that surgery will see her die on the table.

I loved Chicken’s outlook of life. To me she has found zen. 

Nothing bothers her as life is factual.

Our texting ended as she reached her train station and said that she will be going for a brisk walk as her work day ended earlier.

I miss Chicken! 

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