Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Death Know No Bounds! Thank Goodness I Am Surrounded By Kindness

People around me are dropping like flies and the sad part is, they should not as Death robbed them way too soon.

Mr X joined my company some 4 months ago and on the 4th month, he did a health screen as he suddenly started losing weight.

The usual colonoscopy was done amongst other tests. He was diagnosed with 2 large tumors in his liver and pancreas – inoperable and end stage.

On 16 November 2020, I was told he succumbed to the cancer and passed at age 38, leaving behind a wife and 2 young children. Mr X originates from the Philippines and became a permanent Resident of lil red dot.

My heart went out to him as all I could do in the last month or so was to check in and ask how he was doing and if the immunotherapy shots delivered by his oncologist was helping him. It is apparent it did not and he spent $1,800 plus per injection. Thankfully he had a good insurance plan.

Then, Mr Vendor I know who jokes and laughs with me or gets a thwacking now and then for not doing things right, suffered a stroke.

I am unsure how Mr Vendor is doing as periodic updates from his colleague said that he managed to come out of the coma but unsure what faculties are affected. He is in his 30s.

I am sad. But I also know that life is fragile and Death knows no bounds. It claims anyone, anytime, without care on age, looks or physical being.

just when I am enveloped by all this sadness, I was suddenly embraced with the kindness of a neighbor, that I say “hi and bye” to whenever we meet in the underground car park where we live.

Out of the blue Ms Neighbor asked me why is it she hardly saw me those times and I explained to her that I was ill and hospitalised.

Next thing I knew, she started to send me cooked dinners.

Top: Baked mackerel fish with assorted vegetables Bottom: Stewed chicken with stir fried nai bai vegetables. Each boxed dinner was served with a side of rice and a bowl of soup.

I am blessed by her kindness and eat every morsel with appreciation and thanks as she need not do. She is not paid for any of these meals and does it out of the kindness and goodness of her heart.

These are local Teochew pastries called Tau Sar Piah. It comes in sweet or salty filling versions. I bought some to give to Ms Neighbor as I feel it is nice to reciprocate her kindness as she will not take money.
I also added some egg tarts for her and hopes it is tasty.

Luckily Ms Feisty walked past a bakery shop and she asked me if I needed anything. Timely, as I could buy these for Ms Neighbor to enjoy.

I love Charlie Brown’s philosophy and agree.

My life has been filled with good and kind people and this extends even to doctors that treat me.

I appreciate the kindness of people and just as I mourn the loss of people I meet, I am reminded of the positives of those that are alive.

My belief is simply this; we meet for a reason and part when karma ends.

This is why some friends feature more in one’s life at one point or another than others.

Happy weekend ahead.

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Miffy Poses & Miya Tales #43

Miya is taking the spot light today as she is growing fast and Ms Feisty shared these with me as she is working from home today.

Miya seems to be blossoming into another cute cat, next to Miffy.

I love her little “buttons”on her paws as it is so pink and clean. Apparently she is really house bound and is not allowed out as she is too tiny and cute just yet. Also I think if she stepped out of the house, she will be picked up and kept by the new owner.

Miya is eating alot too and compared to Miffy the older cat, she eats a lot more at this age when compared to Miffy back then. I shared with Ms Feisty maybe as a first time cat owner, she was unfamiliar with quantum to feed Miffy and kept her on her diet advised by the vet.

These 2 are the luckiest of cats as they eat well, live well and have the best toys plus outfits to wear.

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Un-Fun Thoughts & Wonderings About Today’s World

It is one of those days that I would lapse into a mind whirl of wondering and pondering of today’s world.

I reflected back on the last few weeks of happenings around me.

Mr Kind’s mother passed away and he seems to be in a rut over it, grieving and coiled into his own world. He and his late mother were closed and he was his mother’s favorite. I saw the photo he sent me of him at age 4 with his parents celebrating that birthday.

I looked inward to self and wondered how would I deal with my own parents mortality when the time came. Would I crumple into a heap? Would I be paralysed by grief?

I cannot do the above as there is no one else but me. My siblings will not bother. They have made it clear that should my parents passed, just handle everything myself and not bother them. BUT, I must have them at the reading of the will and distribute whatever is willed to them.

Sigh. Living is about money. Dying is about money too. For the life of me, I cannot fathom how anyone can be consciously not conflicted when they pocket money from inheritance but not put in the time to manage the declining years of their loved ones?

Who am I to judge right? I am, afterall the world’s biggest bitch who would really tick them off for their lack of care and love – their sorry excuse is we do not live in lil red dot and now with Covid-19, all the more we will not be visiting as we refuse to pay for the quarantine or serve the time.

What is time and money to see loved ones?

I am keyed wrongly.

I think differently.

I am not a perfect person and I own up to the title of “world’s biggest bitch” most times!

I also saw how selfishly Orange Man took off his mask, defiling all etiology of the Covid-19 disease. How come?

How is he able to “beat” the odds of Covid despite being in the high risk group of higher BMI and age?

Is the Presidency campaign trail worth infecting more people to him?

Then I ask self – is he not ‘woke’ – new slang for being aware of social causes. Soon ‘woke’ will be included in the world of dictionaries.

The English language these days has evolved so much that the Queen’s English, as they say, would kill the stoic users of English.

Shakespeare must have also turned over in his grave when his brand of bard’s English evolved to the Queen’s English and so forth.

I have no answer please…..do you?

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1 August – Nurses’ Day Here In Lil Red Dot!! Happy Nurses’ Day!

I have a list of Who’s Who to thank on Nurses Day as they have spent every hour of their shift hours, checking in on me, ensuring I am alive, not in pain or at least comfortable.

I am a difficult patient, not because I am demanding but because my body is not easy to take care of.

It protests at foreign items such as drugs, bandages or dressings when attempts are made to introduce into me, to help me get better.

IV drips will cause backflow after a while as the veins will collapse and gee, hunting for a new vein is as good as prospecting for water in the Sahara Dessert with a “Y” fork.

i hate IV drips and will always beseech the surgeon/my trusty Dr Boey to remove is asap and that I promise to drink like a fish so as not to get dehydrated.

My nurses are fantastic beings as they would come in and check on Garfield and I. If My foot is bandaged, they would also do a bandage for my inanimate furball.

Arm sling that is had sewn by Nurse Joanne when she worked night shift!

If my arm is in a sling, so will Garfield’s arm as one of the nurses would painstakingly sew a sling to fit my inanimate furball.

Bandage on Garfields paw or foot done by Nurse EJ

It is the wholistical care they shower on me, complete with indulging in my inane love for an inanimate being.

These little things, besides, wound dressings, sponging me, helping me with toileting etc is not just a job but a job they do without an ugly or unwilling face.

From my heart, I wish all nurses a happy nurses day, filled with safety and protection against Covid-19 and may they be richly rewarded for their kindness, graceful touches of making the ill well again.

A rose for my nurses to thank them for their care and love for each Bates Motel Incarceration I am in for, and walking out alive each time!

Blessings and Garfield Hugs!

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What’s In A Blog Post?

The WordPress community is a friendly, kind and supportive one.

True, not everyone is the same and I do get an occasional oddball – in fact in all honesty, with 7 years of blogging under my belt, I only had one ranter who heckled, chided me for posting about pokes on Orange Man and blogging about my illnesses or about lil red dot.

I did a post on this when it happened and was heartily surprised when my blogging community supported and reminded me that any reader has an option to choose to read. Ranter could ignore my blog and move on to read others. Yet she chose to read and gave some odd comments. I should feel flattered that she chose to read, but had a difference of opinion.

I felt this ranter (a “she” by the way) had a very bad day and was on a melt down or an avid supporter of Orange Man. Who knows, she could have been a staff of Orange Man and had to stand up for her Boss?

My posts have always been about humor, on myself venting of the illnesses I face and work blues.

Thankfully, the latter is manageable now as Monkey Lord is decent and work is really busy but at least I need not be fending off knife wounds!

But what does get into my head when I sit down to do a post?

My primary intent is that it must never debase any human being.

No racial slurs or mean things.

Everyone is a sister or a brother in this zone.

We are all the safe. Orwellian theory does not fly here although some are super great bloggers with hundreds or thousands of “likes” and followers!

I use nicknames for the humans I meet in life but they remain anonymous, known only to me.

No personal attacks or hurling of vulgarities but a good dose of sardonic humor.

I look at things as they are and say it as I see it.

I do not sugar coat things as my messaging gets watered down and that defeats the punch lines I want to deliver. I need to give it that “kapow” LOL!

I appreciate good government, good work ethics, honesty and sincerity.

I dislike hypocrites, dishonest people and those who love to do a “Knife To The Back”

I have long searched for my true love and realised that this person does not exist. There is no romance waiting for me. Romantic love, marital love and all kinds of love tags elude me.

I have questioned the Almighty Lord but He has not found the time to reply me. I am in spiritual limbo for sure. I guess with Covid-19 now, the Good Lord is even busier.

I challenge my medical team of specialists such that they confess they have sleepless nights trying to figure out how to keep me alive.

I quote Dr Short Tongue (Brilliant specialist and a trusted medical chap for the Who’s Who who stutters when he is excited about a find or observation. He is a big wig in his field and it shows me that despite whatever challenges one has, one can aspire to climb to the top because of meritocracy!) and admire him for his honesty with me.

He said that so long as I “stay as I am, without major shifts in conditions, then I am well” and that he has done his job. I trust him with my life as he asked me not to invite viruses or germs to my body when I asked if I should take shots against this or not.

So, now I ponder – if a Covid-19 vaccine becomes tenable and available, should I take it? Or will I react against it and instead die from it? I must remember to ask for his opinion when I next see him! Hmm! I wonder what he will say?!

The insaner side of my posts are about my raggedy inanimate furball Garfield and how he hands out Garfield hugs and squooshes to keep me sane. Garfield with his beady plastic eyes accompany me on stays at Bates Motel and keeps me company when I groan in pain and recover from my many slicing and dicings!

There is always a child in us and I applaud Pam, another blogger who does fantastic quips that really made me think when she did a post on this. I have a big child portion in me but unfortunately due to the position I carry at work and in social work life, I have to be an adult.

Being an adult is draining as I have to always behave in a politically correct fashion. No tantrums, speak in soft tones and be mindful of who the characters are in my plot of what I call life.

So what’s in a blog post? Or specifically, my blog post?

Who’s to tell? I get all sorts of ideas and when the light bulb lights up, my fingers go to the key board and tap away.

But I believe in not deliberately hurting anyone in life or in words as I know what is is like to be hurt. It is not nice!

A blog post is a window to a life I think I need for the day.

A blog post offers me refuge from my daily adult life.

A blog post lets me laugh freely.

A blog post lets me vent my frustrations.

A blog post lets me share my thoughts and elicit views.

A blog post, most importantly, is my own work.

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Please Don’t Clean Your Dog’s Paws With Bleach Or Lysol

The paws of dogs are like our hands. Please do not wash the paws with bleach or Lysol or corrosive substances.

Just like we do not clean our hands with bleach or Lysol!

Maybe you can buy disposable mittens or re-usable mittens for their paws or use simple bath soap and water or dog shampoo?

I was really sad to see this meme. The paws are raw from overuse of corrosive substances.

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Mr Kind’s Sister Succumbed To Her Illness & Passed On Maundy Thursday

Death, no matter how one prepares for it as the inevitable is never welcomed.

Mr Kind shared with me some months back that his eldest sister was in end stage cancer and that she was in hospital. The sad part was that because of Covid-19 outbreak, her sister was denied visitors.

This situation, did not allow Mr Kind and other relatives to visit her.

Mr Kind is very close with family members and it hit him hard when she passed.

In a way, he felt relieved too as cancer took a toll on his late sister as pain ravaged her.

I do not know how to comfort Mr Kind, other than to offer condolences and let him grieve.

Even sadder was that he could not inform his parents that their eldest child had passed. His father was recovering from a stroke and it may hit his father hard and cause his health to deteriorate.

Life…..fragile.

Life….painful.

Life…celebrate it and not mourn its loss.

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Judgemental As Loyalty To Owner Only

Dogs are fiercely protective of the owner.

I know as my dogs were.

They were ferocious guard dogs and other than the occupants of the house of the owner, they were judgemental in that no one else is a person they like.

Dogs are precious and after losing my last dog to heart worms, I swore never to own another live dog.

Hence Garfield my inanimate furball came about. Garfield lives on and on, just shabby from over hugging!

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Fragility Of Life – A Dedicated Prayer

How Odie and Garfield send selfies to each other. I love the unique love they have for each other. Garfield shows tough love whereas Odie is his old slobbering and innocent naive self in showing Garfield unconditional love.

Life at any age is fragile and precious to loved ones..

Regardless of human form or animal form, a life is a life and when they pass, it hurts.

I know, I lost my pet dobermann, Gretchen, in 1989 whilst I was working in the land of the Fragrant Harbor.

I remember returning to lil red dot at past midnight, seeing her blind and crippled from heart worm disease but wagging her bob tail on hearing my voice. I spent 10 minutes stroking her head and telling her I was home.

The next morning, I found her body in rigor mortis. She must have passed after I spoke to her and retired to bed as I was unwell, with bronchitis.

Mr Kind texted me last evening to share that his father (90 years old +) woke up from bed, fell and had a stroke. He did not tell me anything about it till 48 hours later, when his dad was stabilised.

He continued to send me daily memes for those 2 days and acted as if nothing was wrong.

I felt bad as during that last Thursday, I was still talking shop to him and he did not cut me off on text. His kind demeanour continued to let me ramble on.

I apologised for my insensitivity as I could have been more reserved in chatty chats given his mind on his father, overcoming the sudden stroke.

When one is at such an old age, do we celebrate life or mourn death?

I too have aged parents and often wondered – my conundrum, celebrate their lives or mourn their deaths?

I took my mum and dad for our usual weekly dinner.

I felt bad that I am unable to do more often on account of work as well as my swollen foot.

Getting up at 4am or 5am. Being at the office at 6am so as to go home by 6pm and get ready for the rigorous cycle the next day is my norm.

Each time I take mum and dad out, I am only able to put head to pillow by 12.30am and this takes a huge toll on my spine as I get tired out.

So when mum started her whining on her “bad life thus far” I lashed out at her.

She has no debts. She has money compared to the homeless. She can afford to eat whatever she chooses and declines whatever she did not like eating. There is no banker waiting to repossess her home due to unpaid mortgages is another example of how lucky she to be financially able.

Basic needs are there for her and she is fairly well for a woman of her age.

I reasoned with her. The homeless have no choice in lodging or food choices.

Since young, I have had orthopaedic issues with my spine and am living in much pain on a daily basis.

When she moaned about no one helping her, I rebutted. It is her choice not to have a live in helper. It is not the case where she cannot afford one, but a mindful choice of not wanting one.

As to why none of her other children bother to care about her, I ticked her off too. She did not wish to speak up and I have been the bad guy, going after my 2 other siblings to remember their parents.

My parents continuously make excuses for the other 2 urchins to console self that they are busy, live overseas (out of sight, out of mind philosophy) and have their own lives. Thank God, I am not a mother as I will never kotow to this mentality. Filial piety must be guided and taught.

Perhaps on knowing my 2 siblings, I felt that children should not be born as they will only grow up selfish and unappreciative of parents.

None of my other 2 siblings were victims of financial budgets. Only this black sheep was. But I feel it is to my advantage as it taught me hardship and the ability to work hard for my own money.

Alas, I am the one that is direct and obtuse.

When each of them wanted to live in a land other than Singapore, she did not object.

When I fell in love with my economics graduate teaching fellow (he is 12 years my senior) in the university it was either I relocated to USA or he moved in Singapore.

He tried to get a job in Singapore but was unable to do so back then.

I had to let him go as I was the only idiot left in Singapore and if I flew the coop, what would become of the 2 elderlies?

My brother nor sister batted an eyelid to up and go, leaving their parents behind.

They could not be bothered with their parents and till this date, also do not care. The only thing that ties them to my parents is the windfall they will get once they both keel over.

Such is life, rightly or wrongly.

So when I heard from Mr Kind of his family supporting the incident in the family, I felt the loss of warmth in my own family. It made me reflect on my own community of “family” and it made me very sad.

I was sad as it reminded me of how I would struggle on my own to ensure my parents are well to be discharged from hospital when they fell ill. I had no family support. I had to ensure my dad was safe, trudge off to work and report at the hospital nightly or catch doctor’s ward rounds between 7am to 8am.

The last critical heart condition of my mum, required me to blast the 2 urchins to return else they regret not saying goodbye to mum if she did pass.

Life is fragile.

I want to celebrate the life of my parents and not mourn their deaths when the time comes. It is easier said than done but what else can I do?

Mr Kind was right to revoke his father’s driving rights back then as it would have been worst if an accident occured from a stroke.

Meanwhile, I pray hard for Mr Kind’s father to recover from the stroke with minimal impediment to motor skills else it will be frustrating for his feisty and full of life father who likes independence.

May the deities above, bless and guide Mr Kind and his family to overcome the health issues faced by his father and sister. Grant them both good quality of life and the tenacity to overcome.

May all families stay safe during this covid 19 pandemic.

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Mortality – Fear It Or Choose To Embrace It?

This post is written for someone I know who seems to be afraid of the thought of those dying before him and thereby reminding him of his own mortality and days left!


Words like, “my dentist is my good friend and is dead and he is younger than me!” made me see how terrified he was of facing death.

I am not holy in any way nor am I a person with capabilities to spout the bible. But as a lay person, my words to him would be “that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh.”

If a person has served his or her dues on earth, then his or her dues are done and the person leaves the earthly realm. This is my simplistic way of looking at life and suffering.

I have gone through a lot in life. Horrible bosses of the Ogre kind, the love of my life showing me that I was not worth 5 cents in his life and unending surgical procedures – what did all these taught me?

I could wallow in self pity and lose self in the commonly and erroneously used term of “depression”

Nope, I fought tooth and nail.

I was recently reminded by Technician that in some way, God stood with me for this fight. He put these obstacles there and must have a reason for it all to happen to me, but offered solutions.

So there goes, my beating of breasts and crying “Why me O’Lord?” – Out the window!

Each surgery I underwent, took a toll on my body yet, each surgery left me without major disability. I have a brain that functions, legs that walk (although in pain sometimes) and hands that move (did I mention my scapular hurts) – others do not have this luxury!

My doctors may be financially paid to heal me but each of them have become my good friends that truly care for me when I am ill in hospital or require surgery.

Yes, I could be a transaction; a financial transaction at best and I respect the lines.

But for Doctor James to offer me masks when I had none is another touching point of caring. 

He need not do it but he did out of the compassion of his kind and giving heart.

There is also Technician who cares enough to help me understand all my pain and suffering and explaining to me trials and tribulations of life when he could be earning bigger bucks slicing and dicing another patient.

In life I have given to people and not looked back. Giving need not be a monetary act but an act that translates in giving the person in need of whatever, a solution (interim or otherwise).

Being human, I often angst over those I feel I have given but not bothered to acknowledge my existence or abused my love and trust. I learnt that in giving, it must be unconditional.

I feel I am alive, despite all my issues, that I still have undone work left on the earthly realm.

I believe that once I have delivered all that is expected of me, I will leave.

Hence my philosophy and way of life is to live each day like my last. Do no harm to anyone.

As for the love of my life, I will browbeat this person to recognize that what he did to me was wrong.

I am someone’s daughter and sister.

I hope he realizes that his future generation could face the karmic deeds of his and may suffer the same way as he made me suffer.

But I know I will never get to hear his words of remorse which exudes sincerity in any form as he firmly believes he has done no wrong. To him, I am expendable and of use, that is all!

So, I will let karma resolve that. Past life I may have owed him, so this life, I have repaid my debts in full.

Meanwhile death is nothing to be feared.

It has to come – some sooner than later. Others before even life can begin as they are still borned, no chance to even give a shrill cry of life!

As for “good friend” – I will take it with a pinch of salt for the words “good friend” used by the person who feared death and prompted me to write this post.

“Good friend” to the person who feared death is used loosely. He feels he will die a death that is surrounded by thousands of his “good friends” – illusion or reality, we will never know till it happens.

I am less enthusiastic, I will die and if I am lucky, surrounded by Garfield and hopefully 1 or 2 “good friends”.

So my words to the person fearing death is “Stop whining! Man up!”

Let’s please not use the words, “I am in depression” loosely as it makes the real ailment of depression a joke!

Depression when diagnosed is a serious disease and the right support and treatment is required.

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