Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Johnny Again

Johnny,” says the teacher, “what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”

“He takes a shit, sir,” says Johnny.

“Oh,” says the teacher, “and what does your father do for a living?”

“He’s a bricklayer,” says Johnny.

The teacher thinks, hmm, working class, what else can you expect?

“Bobby,” says the teacher, “what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”

“He takes a shit, sir,” says Bobby.

“Hmm,” says the teacher, “and what does your father do for a living?”

“He’s a joiner,” says Johnny.

The teacher sees this as confirming his suspicions about the lack of linguistic skills among working class children.

“Freddy,” he says. “What does your father do for a living?”

“He’s a lawyer, sir” says Freddy.

“And what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”

“He reads The Times, sir,” says Freddy.

“Interesting,” says the teacher, “and how much time does he spend reading the paper?”

“Not long,” says Freddy, “just until he’s finished taking a shit.”😂

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Signages

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Thoughts #10 – Kind & Considerate Traits

My Caveat: This is a new series that I have started. It will contain my personal opinion of things happening in Lil Red Dot or around the world. I would love it if my readers will chip in with their views and balance things for my views. There will be no contentious content. But I assure you, a lot of humorous content and about this or that or what ails – theme of my blog site really! So do chime in, like you always do and lighten our work load, put down our worries and just laugh or cry or both.

Sunday morning is a downright rainy one – buckets of torrential rain fell from the skies such that it prevented part time help to come to my unit as he does not own an umbrella! The humble umbrella yet many refuse to have one with them, much less own one.

Ms Young One, a member of my staff team, is another. Millenials refuse to carry umbrellas as it seems to mar their pristine image. In this aspect, I think I am either old or practical as I always have an umbrella with me. I buy a truly lightweight one and it is always in my tote bag when I am out taking public transport.

Ms Young One did not have an umbrella on her and texted me last Wednesday to say that she need to wait out for the rain to stop before she can continue her journey to work. I asked her if the rain does not stop then it means she pcannot come to work. I suggested for her to find a cafe or coffee shop and log in on her laptop to work then. Sigh! I rolled my eyes – I was being cheeky telling her to do that and loh and behold, she replied she does not carry her lap top with her. She is one that carries an itty bitty purse with nothing inside except her housekeys and money bills tucked in her key card to office. Amazing!

I am in this essence, old and fuddy duddy as I have just about everything!

Anti bacterial wipes, tissues, Trace Together Token, housekeys, car key etc including nitroglycerin in case when I am with my folks and they suffer from Angina pain. Yes, I am prepared for anything and everything under the sun, which is why my bag weighs a bit. But I feel “naked” and unprepared if I need something and it is not there.

Back to part time help! I offered to pay for his Grab or Gojek fees but he was too kind as he did not want to incur additional costs for me. I taught him to ask for a passerby with umbrella to shelter him to the nearest train station. He was shy but he ended up doing it. So all he needed was for me to go to the MRT station where he would alight with an umbrella to shelter him. But, again, given his kindness and understanding my condition, he made his way in light drizzle to my place.

Kindness begets kindness I feel. Naïve? Maybe! But I feel that I have been receiving kindness from total strangers lately.

Whilst running errands for my folks, I parked at the handicap lot and was struggling to get back into my car. Given my spinal issues, it is hard for me to get in and out of the car seat. A very kind Malay gentleman approached me and asked if I needed help. I thanked him and said I was ok but still, he waited and pushed the door shut for me when I got in. Time is money and he could have just left me as he had food delivery to do. But his kindness touched me!

Part Time help in his own way was also kind and considerate of me as he knew I was not in the best of mobility health and he refused to take private hire car to my place, hoping to help me save $12. He knew it was his cause that will make me spend this sum and he refused to do so.

If I was part time help and my employer told me to go ahead, I would have dialed for one – fastest fingers and enjoyed a free ride in air con comfort at the expense of my employer, heck care if I do not have an umbrella!

Last Saturday, was my follow up with Dr James. My surveillance Xray showed some minor fusion of the spine with implants. I explained to Dr James on the immense stiffness in my legs and he explained that given the length of the implants, my spine is no longer going to be the same as it becomes challenging to do things.

I asked if I will be looking at immobility in my older years? He did not reply me directly except to say that I need to really manage my spine and not do things that will make it worst. He opined that I ought to get an SUV with height such that my butt can sit on the car seat and swing my legs in. But we both agreed that given the cost of car prices, it is crazy with the Certificate of Entitlement (COE) – birth certificate to own a car. It is currently going at SGD111,000 for open category i.e. 1,600cc and above.

I cannot manage getting into Mr Nice’s Lexus RX nor S Man’s Land Rover as the height is too much for me to climb in.

So my next car choice will have to ergonomically suit me else it will be a chore to get in and out of the car.

Have a super Sunday all and take care. Bank loans and interest rates are on the rise as Feds raise it and it is causing a dent in most wage earners pockets here. Inflation is crazy as yesterday I was at the supermarket and 6 tiny mandarins from Australia cost me $5.00. I thought it was $2.95. I had to have the cashier void it and instead I exchanged it for a bag of mandarins (about 8 of them) x 2 bags for $5.90. Topping up $0.90 was a no brainer as it gave me more mandarins than the $5.00 ones and I think my 2 bags came from Israel.

Yes, I am not a savvy shopper and must learn to do better as given these tough economic times, we need to save as much as we can to overcome the rising bank interest rates on mortgages as most Singaporeans have loans to service for their homes.

Don’t forget to do something nice for someone. I will try and do that, pay forward what the nice Malay man did to help me.

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Lurpak Butter Seems To Be A Precious Commodity Now

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Cordless Drill In Old Days

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Kitty Is Hungry!

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Spelling Is Important

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You Are Alone….A Feel Good Read

Every month Martín’s parents took a trip to see Grandma and came home on the same train the next day. One day the child said to his parents:
“I’m already grown up. Can I go to my grandma’s alone?”
After a brief discussion, his parents accepted. They stood with him as he waited for the train to exit. They said goodbye to their son and gave him some tips through the window. Martin repeated to them:
“I know. I’ve been told this more than a thousand times.”
As the train was about to leave, his father murmured in his ear:
“Son if you feel bad or insecure, this is for you!”
And he put something in his pocket.
Now Martin was alone, sitting on the train as he had wanted, without his parents for the first time.
He was admiring the landscape out the window. Around him some unknowns pushed themselves in. They made a lot of noise. They got in and out of the train car. The conductor made some comments about him being alone. One person looked at him with eyes of sadness.
Martin was feeling more uneasy with every minute that passed. And now he was scared. He felt cornered and alone. He put his head down, and with tears in his eyes, he remembered his dad had put something in his pocket. Trembling, he searched for what his father had given him. Upon finding the piece of paper he read it:
“Son, I’m in the last train car!”
That’s how life is, we must let our kids go. We must let them try new things. But we always like to be in the last car, watching, in case they are afraid or in case they find obstacles and don’t know what to do. We want to be close to them as long as we are still alive.

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Trust Your Vet To Save Cost

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, I’m sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away.

The distressed woman wailed, Are you sure? Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet..

How can you be so sure? she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$1000!” she cried, “$1000 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $200, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now $1000.

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Saturday Hee Haws

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