Garfieldhug's Blog

This & That Including What Ails

Making Plans For The Future

I received a comment on my blog “Communicate & Not Hide” requesting for more articles like this one. I am glad someone out there in the web world appreciated my humble write up 🙂

Life is not a bed of roses! Cliché sounding but true. I have given up making plans for the future as elaborate plans without tweaks seldom work given the volatile economic circumstances. Things change as quickly as technology changes. Most times we are playing catch up.

I read an article of how Borders Bookstore closed but how Amazon is still raking in sales! The internet or E arena is a thriving hub of business. Soon, this too may be overtaken if no one continues to strive to stay relevant as a new technopreneur may come up with a new game plan.

So, is making plans really relevant? Yes and No.

Yes when your plans are continuously reviewed and updated. I call it tweaking! For example, investment plans. If you are not razor sharp and being in tuned with the market sentiments, often times one loses out. That’s me. I have no time to review what I have invested and hence I have learnt to put it into safe instruments with  determined returns. I am risk averse.

The more hungrier the investor is, the bigger the risk appetite. Sadly I have none to play with.

On life, is there a planned course? Hmm, first it was to finish well with a good educational background, then build wealth and find a soul mate. Well, the soul mate never happened and so a lot of people are single and happy being single. Marriage is not what it can make out to be. Some marriages who broke down irretrievably told me that spouses controlled their finances with an iron fist! Again, no right or wrong here but perception. If the spouse is a spendthrift and cannot budget properly or tend to spend without thinking, then the other spouse has a right to control for the sake of the family.

However, it is no – when a spouse just wants to control the purse strings of a husband (No) or vice versa if he is a philanderer(Yes). So, it truly depends on the situation.

I have seen people who behave in a certain way with their spouses and another way with others. A regular Jackal and Mr Hyde syndrome I call it. But then, is there any real “person” to begin with as I have blogged before in saying that All the World’s a Stage and in it, people take differing roles to match a situation.

Big successful conglomerates helmed by CEOs are talented in making different circumstances work. They wheel and deal well and it makes them successful. Similarly, a relationship is the same. One has to wheel to gain the trust of a spouse and deal when the spouse gets agitated.

There are no right or wrong answers to me. But it depends on how the situations pans out and what it required to make it right.

If a mistake is made, own up. If never hurts to say SORRY as it is a word. Half the time the people saying it may not mean it but says it to placate a given situation.

Beng is an example I draw from. As a motivational speaker, there is no true face to Beng. I doubt no one knows him, not even himself as he is a versatile chameleon, changing with the environment and saying the things to suit the audience. Is he good then? Yes and No again are my answers.

Yes, if he is a clown and as a profession in clowning, what he say does not matter as it serves not to hurt anyone – it was just pure and simple clowning.

No, if he is perennial liar and does not take remorse or ownership of situations. I frown often times on the situations he diffuses with insincerity and it leads to further complications. It is easy for him to have diarrhoea of the mouth as what is said could be the result of a laxative effect but the post trauma sets in when he realises the electrolytes are not replenished and dehydrations sets in.

Perhaps this was the case when a huge deal was recently scuttled for Beng as a result of his own folly. It probably brought his downfall too. But as a motivational speaker, he would soon be able to rise on stage and sell his failure as his future success. Well, he ain’t wrong too as he is glib and yes, motivational speakers tend to turn around very quickly like a rubber ball. But remember, at the end of the day, elasticity can be worn.

I suppose for people like Beng, it must take time and the environment to wear him down.  Until and unless this happens, he will continue to wheel and deal like no tomorrow and make a living – even successfully too. I remember he once told me, life is not black and white – it has grey areas and he thrived on the grey areas to make his wealth. It does not matter who you trod upon or destroy along the way, but so long as Beng survived. Now, this is not nice. There must be a sense of conscience and care. I believe in the turn of tides and I await the day for when this happens. As to if, there is someone there to offer him a leg up or support, I suppose a kind soul will come along.

Life is not about making plans. Life does not often turn out the way you want it to be. I hate to sound like a broken record, but destiny is often said to be a word of resignation to life. I throw destiny to the wind. Life is a “now” and a “then” – I live one day at a time and prepare for the future but knowing full well that planning does not often lead to a desired end. My goal posts tend to shift too as my ideals change.

The world is a changing one. As it evolves, we must evolve with it but the trick is, knowing when to evolve and how to evolve with it!

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A Note To My Enemy – Should I Have One, One Day!

I am somebody’s child. The wrongs done to me hurts as it would hurt you too, unless of course you are an android.

Like you, I am made of tissue, cells and have blood coursing through veins. No different.

Orwell said some are more equal than others. I suppose so and you see self as more equal than I.

I have given my help always. In circumstances where I could not help financially, I am sure I am deemed unhelpful by you.

Spouting biblical phrases does not gel with your actions. You have judged me as I have judged you. Where you have judged, you meted out a life sentence to me.

Wealth matters. You reminded me often enough. It mattered to you because I did not matter to you. For those whose wealth did not matter to you, you gave as you consumed.

The world is a smaller place but yet you successfully made it a great divide.

I am a pawn. I am used when of use and as a resource of future use, kept like a prostitute. Expensable, beckon when called, shelved when not required.

I am expressedly tired of being useful. Will I be of use to you in the future?

Perhaps ties would hold me from refraining help. But I am carefully reviewing my thoughts.

If I die, you would rejoice as I no longer am a thorn, reminding you of what you did or did not wish to do. You are then absolved of your promises and can be unshackled of me.

Was I stupid to believe in the ties that bound us? YES.

Will I see light of day? NO.

I am of no economic use. I have no useful contacts as land migration of business models prevail.

Education is a mere phase. Spouting theories to confound your audience in hope of wowing will work sometimes. Not all times!

My dear sweet Enemy has won. I concede defeat. My life lay in ruins before you, at your feet.

Rejoice my dear Enemy….you won in the end!

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Day #8 – Bates Motel, Alive & Visit From Piglet & Friends

Piglet is a friend I met on my blogsite and I was very happy to see her today when she visited me.

We chatted and she gave Garfield a carry as she loves my raggedy furball.

She gave me a print out of Garfield get well wishes which I appreciated.

Piglet is another strong person, overcoming medical issues. We encourage each other.

I was especially touched by her kind words to me today.

I am always at odds with God and I have lost wifi connectivity with heaven.

But my surgeon, Dr James, sent me a tweet from the Pope.

Dr James is a very devout Catholic and a great surgeon. He does not give up on this “soul” he says LOL!

I appreciate his tolerance of my nonsense.

I kept asking him WHY? Why ME? Why am I chopped up so much?

I came to know Dr James for my cervical implants, titanium rods and screws – the works!

He later then helped me with Dr Pang BC to put lumbar spinal implants in me.

I could walk. But no rollercoaster rides or bungee jumping!

Instead of WHY, he said my suffering is a vocation to help others.

I told Dr James, let me mull over…….is God speaking through him?

Mr Docile visited me and I will save that for another post.

Ms Feisty, Mr Jaguar, Ms Audit and Ms Legal also visited me.

I feel so loved!

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Day #5 Bates Motel – Decision Of Titans

Dr Andrew See (Head Neck Surgeon) and Dr Boey Wah Keong (anaesthesiologist) jointly sat with me to finalise surgical plans for tomorrow, Saturday 27 July 19.

Everything was abuzz as Dr See blocked booked the operating theatre (OT) and sat me down again to remind me of options to watch and see.

I told him, my mind is firmed up.

He assured me that the tumor would be the smallest he would ever excised. 1.4cm x 1.1cm.

It would be relatively easy to remove without accidentally severing nerves. I pray hard that there shall be no nerve severing of any sort.

The excision would be a long one from behind the ear lobe all along the chin to the neck line.

The scar would take 6 months to disappear.

I guess I would look like Mrs Frankenstein! But Dr See assured me no…no..no!

I truly wish for a non eventful surgery tomorrow.

Dr James Tan would remove the first tumor on forehead and that would take 1.5 hours.

Dr See would take over and remove the 2nd tumor in 2.5 hours.

I was told what will happen after, pain and doom and gloom for worst case scenarios.

Haha…I laughed when I saw this meme of the peach!

Gaaarrfield I need a hug!

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A Silent Cry

A silent cry I cry,

Tearless no matter how hard I try.

People ask why and pry,

I remain silent no matter how hard they try.

MR EX is trying hard to get back together with me and I have refused.

I told him to let go, to the tune of Disney’s Frozen tune of Let It Go!

Our parting has been acrimonious and he has apologised profusely for his part but I am adamant about parting.

There is no use in keeping this relationship, I told him.

He will not clean up his act and will forever be chasing tons of money, with the notion that more is always better.

Greed is in his veins and this is unhealthy.

He has 2 grown daughters who will not work and he is ok with it. So much for parenting and his marriage that failed.

All I know is hearsay as his words cannot be trusted.

if his marriage is so bad, I told him a long time ago to vote with his feet!

But he is sad to part with the millions amassed by his Bimbo.

His choice I told him to stay in a marriage of wealth. I cannot be bothered as it does not concern me.

I may have turned down his marriage proposal years ago but he chose to marry within 3 months of our breakup and now he compains he made a wrong choice?

Hmm…

Whatever the case, leave it and let it go as I told him squarely on text messaging.

MR EX is an EX – a has been, a once upon a time and never the twain shall we meet!

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Miffy Poses #25 – Weighing In At 3.6 Kg At 9 Months Old!

Ms Feisty showed me the latest photo of Miffy when she weighed her in at the vet.

A whopping 3.6 kg!

Big Kitty Miffy Is Now!

This is one big cat now compared to when she was a newborne when Ms Feisty got her from the shop, fitting her palm easily.

Baby Miffy

Ms Feisty shared with me that Miffy would be really good at walking her up daily for work at 7am.

In fact Miffy is so smart to discern and know when it is Saturday, Sundays or public holidays when Ms Feisty need not go to work and she lets her lie in.

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Why Work Does Not Stop For Me?

Eunuch is either dense or requires me to by his side to cover his inadequacies!

I had distinctly sent out no less than 3 emails to all the Head Honchos that I will be away and that I will not be replying to emails or text messages.

Yesterday I was on one day of my earned annual leave and it is like the minute I step out of office, things happen!

Aaargh!

Incident #1

Cat fight amongst 3 women

The worst kind of disputes is when 3 women fight! I know these 3 women well and know that out of the 3, 2 of them are or can be vicious as they hold very strong personalities and characters.

The 3rd that the 2 dislikes, is softer and quieter.

The 2 Amazons beef with Ms Quiet is that Ms Quiet is not doing her job!

I have not got the facts just yet but based on email trails that I have read at face value, it would seem that Ms Quiet is firm in her position in things not done by the 2 Amazons and have thrown it back their way to clean up.

2 Amazons claim Ms Quiet is “doing nothing”

I shot back – job descriptions – all to submit.

Once I have job descriptions, then I stop listening to who says, what is said and answer the hows and whys!

Sheesh…I am woman but not petty as these are procedural issues.

If all 3 are unsure as to what their job descriptions were, therein lies the causal factor.

In fact when I spoke to Legal Eagle to oversees 1 of the Amazon, it is quite clear it could be a case of all 3 not knowing their roles save for Ms Quiet.

I will need to get to the bottom of this by speak to bosses of 2 Amazons.

Meanwhile I told all 3 to “chill” and let sanity prevail else in the heated moment, no one thinks clearly. Allow me time to return and sort this out.

Ms Legal Eagle shared that she broached the subject with Eunuch but as usual Eunuch did not act on this.

Eunuch, I feel has changed.

Either he is inundated with too many meetings and no time to follow up or he is lost!

I feel that talking too much does not help – I prefer more action, less words and resolve issues as quickly as it pops up so that there can be no festering that leads to pent up anger and once the fuse is lit, the keg explodes.

Meanwhile, Eunuch continues to text me over all the small issues and I cite an example – ” annual dinner, did you invite the regional offices?”

My Reply:

“This is not an endeavor by us but from HQ, the Organising Chairman decides and not Garfied Hug.”

His Reply:

“Then why send out to the regional offices?”

My Reply:

“To clarify, not me, but Organizing Chairman. Anyway the major shareholder said only for Singapore office”

To settle the matter, I had to fish out the email and look through the trail and finally replied him to say that the Organizing Chairman did not invite to all regional office.

Silence ensued.

Blithering nit wit!

If only he used his grey cells!

Sheesh and I had to do all this whilst in the Clinic with my father who was undergoing 5 tests to ensure he is all good before I check self into hospital!

Talk about the lack of empathy on the side of Eunuch! Sheesh!

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A Product Of Life

We are all products of life.

With life, I set out to make myself economically viable, never a leech on parents, siblings and or on society.

I am one of those who pay income tax diligently and am happy to pay income tax as it means that I am doing okay and not in dire straits.

By paying taxes, I qualify for good credit rating status as the ability to pay taxes allow me to purchase things without IRAS doing unnecessary checks as I live within my means.

I have seen colleagues who over extended selves to borrow from loan sharks and end up in bad situations.

I have seen colleagues put behind bars as they siphoned money out from the company to fuel their love of bling blings and designer togs! Why the lure of such things can get people to steal is a wonder to me.

I do not see merits in carrying a designer bag. Firstly these designer bags are ghastly overpriced and weighs a ton! Ridiculous to me to even think of forking out thousands of dollars to carry a bag that hurts my spine.

Have you tried carrying a Prada leather bag – it is heavy and not very practical.

I am, afterall, stingy LOL!

I will have better use of those thousands of dollars!

I carry or use handbags that are made of cheap and light material as I need to lug around medications, cleaning wipes and all things needed for my parents when I take them out.

I am like their nanny and would use bags that are functional and not fashionable.

I am a product of life that I adapt to.

I use alot of wipes as eating out with parents, I have to ensure their hygiene as mum walks and grabs everything in sight to balance herself as she does not know or want to know how to use a walking stick.

Plus mum is an embarrassment as she will always demand alot of tissues or napkins from the food outlets. More is better for her and she is a firm non believer of saving Gaia.

She is amass loads of plastic bags and I have to tolerate it otherwise, we end up in a shouting match.

How will I turn out when I age?

I am unsure what product of life I will end up to be?

I feel I will end up lonely, dying alone with Garfield and I.

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Ji Gong Or I Fondly Call Dao Ji

Ji Gong Huo Fo is known by many names; Huo Fo, Living Buddha, Crazy Monk etc. He is a deity from Buddhist and Taoist beliefs who suffered alot in life and became a Living Buddha, carrying out live miracles to help people.

He is always seen in shabby robes and he is depicted as one who loves to drink, eat meats which runs contrary to the Buddhist faith of being vegetarian.

Dao Ji performs many miracles as a living buddha, helping the ill, oppressed, or champion people’s rights.

I enjoy watching the classical Ji Gong through DVDs in the old days and now the younger version of Ji Gong of which starred our local star “ah jie, Fann Wong” too in blue ray compatible dvds.

Today, I watch it on Drama Cool.

The story lines are simple. It teaches us the need to be kind and be fearful of evil deeds.

I do believe in Karma and that what goes around does come around. The waiting time may take a while for it to come round but it will certainly do so.

In life, it is best to do good and not harm others. Do not inflict harm, lie, cheat or con unsuspecting souls.

If you are married and live in an unhappy marriage, do make a clean cut before you stray as your selfish action hurts both the party you engage in as well as the woman you chose as your bride.

It does not bode well to cheat both ways and a leg each in both boats is just plain selfish. You destroy lives for your own selfish needs. Much worst, is when you take no responsibility although you promise to keep such a tirade going.

Best mantra is to live within your means and cut your coat according to your cloth.

Once someone gets lost in richness, more wealth is needed as a new benchmark of needs and wants arise. There is no end to needs and wants; just like a little toddler wants more candy or chocolate. If a discerning parent allows the little tot to have as much candy as she or he wants, we either have an obese tot or a tot with a potential diabetic future! Hence the need to practice restraint on behalf of the child.

As an adult it gets complicated as we are deemed matured adults. The rush for wealth is a real rat race. The need to be dressed to the hilt is an obsession.  It becomes worst when a spouse is such a chaser of wealth and looks. This gets transcended down to the children.

We then foster what our government refers to as the Strawberry Generation.  Children of today does not know harsh realities. Fast food is the norm and social media is the rage.

Androids are a necessity and there is not end to the gadgets one can have.

As for Facebook, it is a waste of time as it is the biggest market for phishing and scammers. Yet, it has caught on so much so that it is the largest social media platform.

Restraint and caution is much-needed. What do I know is, keep my FB restricted and only for people I wish to share with.

My FB account has only 5 “friends” and I am happy to keep it that way 🙂

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Marginal Utility of Friendship Part 2

In my earlier segment, I used the example of the perfect wedding. I now use the example of the perfect funeral.

As an employee, I have always told business associates that I can be your world’s biggest female dog or best friend. Take your pick.  Many chose the latter as whenever a business issue hits a snag, I am the first to be sussed out to assist.

Funerals are taboos to most cultures. Many refuse to talk about death as the Grim Reaper is always lurking in the shadows.  Chinese believe that talking about death is inauspicious as Tua Ya Peh or Ji Ya Peh with their trusty Cow Head Horse Face assistant would soon be rankling chains and cuffs to drag a soul away.

My “best” friend Beng often bragged about attending every wake, even of those he does not know. I often ask him, strange isn’t it when a “friend” like me needed help, he always ignores but yet for these unknown people, he would rush to attend. Whatever his motivation is best known to himself. So much for charity beginning at home and I soon realised how far up or down the totem pole of importance I am in Beng’s life.

I want a simple funeral – ie no funeral; as in no wake. It has to be straight from the freezer to the barbecue pit as I put it. Mr Ability to Earn has been tasked to ensure that no money is wasted on frivolous ceremonies or wasting people’s time to allow for night visits. I am sure there will be no one coming anyway.

Despite his stuttering and I threatened him that if he did it after I was dead, my spirit would haunt him endlessly! HA HA that stopped him short in his tracks!

A funeral ceremony lasting a few days; usually in 3, 5 or 7 days was to me a nuisance, a waste of funds and time for the living. If I was worthy of remembering, people ought to have done what they could have done in my living years, I do not need a conscience ceremony of people visiting and paying respects.

The monies can be kept for a charitable cause instead of prayers etc. I would be dead – period. I am in spiritual limbo and no one has returned from the dead to tell me that a heaven or hell exists. I do however hope that there is a place for those who have caused much evil to be assessed and counselled.

I did however tell Mr Ability To Earn that I would not mind an occasion lasting 2 hours to be held at a swanky 5-6 star hotel. I told him the music I wanted the visitors to hear. Pop songs of the 80s, 90s and especially Bee Gees Staying Alive (this was to me funny!)  or Shakira or Black Eye Peas. Hip tunes, nothing sad, sombre as I find it all false.

Again, the event is to raise funds for a charitable organisation of my choosing. Guests arriving would be treated to canapes or finger foods in fine elegant dining complete with wine.

The ballroom was to be decked out in silver, gold and blue balloons with silver tassels. Each dining table would be set with a lovely centerpiece of flowers. As for the rostrum, only tiger lilies (not easter lilies I told him) – orange species.

The biggest laughter would be a banner at the rostrum area to say “World’s Biggest B Or World’s Best Friend”

My strict instructions was that on no occasion is Beng to make a speech. In life, I did not matter and I am quite sure I will not allow him to speak when I am dead. It would just be Beng’s way of wanting attention.

Mr Ability To Earn was not at all happy to hear all this. He wanted the dead to be remembered and he felt I needed to have people coming in a for a visit. I firmly said “no”.

I did however say that each visitor at this requiem would be given a door gift – a Tiffany blue box item to remember what they did for me when I was alive. I have a list of people I do want to thank. These who have stood with me over my many difficult times and when I much-needed help.

I am not squeamish about death. Death must occur. It has to happen. I just believe in ensuring that in dying I do not allow my siblings to come to my coffin to say my dying was a “nuisance” like my sister said to me when I was recovering from a major surgery.

I want a fuss free ceremony that leaves me dignified and happy in death.

This is the best way for people to remember my existence.

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