Redneck Medical Terms
Benign…………………..What you be after you be eight
Artery……………………The study of paintings
Bacteria…………………Back door to cafeteria
Barium…………………..What doctors do when patients die
Cesarean Section……..A neighborhood in Rome
Catscan………………….Searching for Kitty
Cauterize………………..Made eye contact with her
Colic………………………A sheep dog
Coma……………………..A punctuation mark
D&C………………………Where Washington is
Dilate……………………..To live long
Duct Tape……………………Suture on a roll
Enema……………………Not a friend
Fester…………………….Quicker than someone else
Fibula……………………..A small lie
Genital……………………Non-Jewish person
G.I.Series………………..World Series of military baseball
Hangnail………………….What you hang your coat on
Impotent………………….Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain……………….Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff…………….A Doctor’s cane
Morbid…………………….A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates…………………..Cheaper than day rates
Node……………………….I knew it
Outpatient………………..A person who has fainted
Pap Smear……………….A fatherhood test
Pelvis………………………Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative…………..A letter carrier
Recovery Room…………Place to do upholstery
Rectum……………………Damn near killed him
Secretion…………………Hiding something
Seizure……………………Roman emperor
Tablet……………………..A small table
Terminal Illness…………Getting sick at the airport
Tumor……………………..More than one
Urine………………………Opposite of you’re out
Varicose………………….Near by/close by
Irony Of Christmas & New Year’s Eve Over At Lil Red Dot
How quickly the year 2022 ends, with this being the last Saturday of 2022. I am not sad to see 2022 end and not terribly excited with how 2023 will be. Too much anticipation of doom and gloom in economy, inflation and my impending surgery is real.
I cannot believe how political correctness has erased all the innocence of nursery rhymes – e.g. ba ba black sheep is incorrect and has tones of racism!
Even now with the meme on Santa, I pondered. How times have changed indeed and the child is not incorrect in today’s climate – children cannot be judged as naughty or nice! Something so simple, is now a big ” no no”
Does this erode the simple joy of having a Santa and that we must always be good?
Or must everyone now over think things?
I think the bowl of cereal with Baileys must pack a whallop when consumed!
Whoever designed the lights for this street is really going to be in trouble!
With the Seoul stampede during Christmas that claimed many lives of revellers, our government is now being extremely careful on crowd control and this New Year, many decentralised sites for celebration has been identified so that all will not congregate at the Marina Bay area.
Still, it is expected for many revellers to be congregate there and headcounts are exit points of MRT stations are monitored.
I will not be out partying as I just want some quiet rejuvenation time. Just Garfield and I, watching TV or doing crosswords.
Dr Bones just called and encouraged me to have surgery on my right paw during the Chinese New Year period as this was the lull period and beds are available during Chinese New Year as people tend to believe in not being auspicious to be hospitalized during this time.
I need my paw and for it to be rendered incapacitated during healing post surgery is not a good idea for me as I need to bring my parents for their medical and manage the driving of the wheelchair for my mum.
So I need to suck it up and bear with it, till I have an opportune time to get my paw fixed again – sigh!
Happy New Year to one and all – my simple wish for all is cheesy sounding but I do want world peace, joy, happiness and good health with job security for all and some money to subsist.
Much love and Garfield hugs to my blog friends out there who stuck with me for many years, laughing with me, laughing at me and crying or praying for me.
If I live, I will be back to amuse.
If I live, I will be back to annoy.
If I live, I will be back to vent.
If I live, I will be back to nag.
Cheers!
Dialogue With Son
Son asked his mother the following question:
‘Mum, why are wedding dresses white?’ The mother looks at her son and replies,
‘Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your bride is pure.’
The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this with his father.
‘Dad why are wedding dresses white?’
The father looks at his son in surprise and says,
‘Son, all household appliances come in white.’
Frightening For Christmas
I don’t mean to be a Grinch, however… to those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, would you please avoid anything that has red or blue flashing lights together?!?! Every time I come around the corner, I think it’s the police. I have to brake hard, toss my margarita out the window, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, and turn my radio down, all while trying to drive. It’s just too much drama, even for Christmas..
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