Caring & Uncaring Or Totally Oblivious
My regular readers on WordPress would know that I have siblings, albeit dysfunctional ones.
Siblings related by blood means squat. It does not mean that blood is thicker than water holds true as it is dependent on the character of each person.
My siblings and I lived under the same roof with parents, ate from the same table, received the same teachings of my mother. Yet, 2 of us have become self centred, materialistic and uncaring, putting self first.
I am then the black sheep of the family as I do not care for materialism, eat to live and only care about my inanimate furballs. I live within a budget, sharing my funds with family. But I soon realised this was not the case with my siblings.
I accepted them for who they are and only now realise that when parents need them most as they age, they continue on in their self centered mode.
Things have come to head now as I have decided to give them the silent treatment – one is roosted in Hong Kong and the other in New Zealand. It was easy to cite Covid-19 as a reason for not returning to visit their parents but now with borders opening, I find it hard to maintain this rationale. It just shows that both are happy not to return so as not to take responsibility for their parents.
Of course my parents hurt, yearn for their visits but the 2 siblings I have, are oblivious to their needs.
I have learnt to prioritize and because I am good at it, I am now the Go To Guy to sort out parental needs. I have become the de facto person and I started questioning the end of my relationship with my siblings.
My sis, who is the eldest by the way, was not much of a sis in my growing up years. She was ashamed of me as I never dressed in designer togs, ate simply and made friends with just about anyone without distinction of race, stature or creed. I was, to her, an abominable misfit in her world of Salvatores, or Whatchamacallit Bling Blings!
In today’s speak of political correctness, I would say she is a first class Bully. When I was in between jobs, I was forbidden food as in her royal view, I did not contribute to the family fund, I was not allowed to eat anything in the house. Thank goodness I had good friends who bought me lunches and dinners. Finally I was thrown out of the house – father played a part as he became my 2 siblings pawn. Irony of it is that today, this Black Sheep is the sole care giver of my father who now has dementia and a mother who stoically stood by me but rail roaded by father, sister and brother back then.
2 weeks ago, I finally stood my ground and berated the 2 siblings in name. I fully understood that I was nothing more than a Go To Guy and that whenever they visited Singapore, I was their designated ATM.
Amongst family, I never looked at funds selfishly as I was happy to share and pay for things or meals with them. But the reverse is not true.
I am now standing firm against my 2 siblings. I do not wish to engage them and have told my parents squarely (hoping to catch father in moments of lucidness to exact my words) that so long as they live, they are “siblings” but it ends when they pass.
Mother understands my position. Father does not care as he never cared if I lived or died. Frankly over the multiple surgeries, he did not make an effort to see me. It was Mother who forced him to take her to visit me in hospital.
As for my fantastic sister, her utterances at my hospital bed, could just kill me if I was gasping for my last breath….”You are a bloody nuisance” when she stormed into my room from Penang, Malaysia where she and her family were based back then. You see, Mother made her come visit me as I had almost died back then.
So when I challenged all these actions of both siblings, I received silence. The 5 letter word S.O.R.R.Y can never be in their vocabulary as my sister would tell me blatantly, she does not remember all these. So, I learnt that one can get selective dementia when one chooses.
I hurt. I remember. I do not forget. I find it hard to forgive too. I tried forgiving but cannot forget when the siblings persist in their lack of care or concern. Perhaps if I married a rich tycoon in the likes of same financial value of portfolios of Gates or Elon Musk, then maybe I will be respected or loved.
Aaah well, I shall be shovelling coals for Lucifer in Hades. I am not a saint. I despise the Catholic faith as this is the teaching outcomes of my siblings and I. So much for being charitable, helpful for being filial.
Thursday, I Wonder Thoughts
Back To Bates Motel Soon In Couple Of Weeks’ Time
I would often say to self that these visits to Bates Motel are like “Staycations” except it is hardly every fun! Seriously the cost of staying at Bates Motel if it was indeed a Staycation, I would prefer to be in the Shangri-La Hotel complete with spa and sauna, breakfast in bed type!
Ooh the glam of a staycation would be more fun than Bates Motel.
I have spinal issues and it is causing a lot of leg issues. Plus my neck and hands are not doing too well. So there is a need to review and figure out what is wrong with me and if the nuts and bolts in me are “getting rusty” – I joke, titanium rods and plates do not rust. If anything, I suspect there is more spinal degeneration.
Like I often quip, I am not 88 years old, but I feel like 88 years old from a young age.
I should not complain as I can still walk but maybe when I am indeed 88 years old (if I ever live up to this age, given what I am going through), I wonder if I am ever going to be mobile?!
This time round, I will be under both Dr James (Neurosurgeon) and Dr Clever Bones.
I am always very glad to be under their care as I know Dr Clever Bones has me sorted out in the sense that he knows what I am going through. Dr James will need Dr Clever Bones to do the slicing and dicing if any as his speciality is in the neck.
I hope to be in and out soon and at least a direction to take for my tolerance of pains I have been having.
Garfield will be in tow for my new adventures. White Coats will have a field day with phlebotomist sucking blood from me…….I will continue to invoke humor and laughter regardless of what rubbishy reports that come out from the MRI or CT scans or procedures required.
Wish me luck then folks!
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