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Conversation With Mother Nature
A golfer hits his ball on the 16th hole…
It lands in the rough in a patch of buttercups. As he prepares to hit his next shot he hears a voice behind him… “Don’t hurt my buttercups”…
He turns around and sees a woman dressed in flowers and leaves…
He says, “Who the hell are you”…?
She says, “I’m Mother Nature, and if you don’t hurt my buttercups I’ll give you all the butter you can eat for the rest of your life”…
He says, “Where were you three holes back when I was in the pussy willows”…?
Just When You Think You Have A Feel Good Moment
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had £100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension cheque.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner.
Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope.
Can you please help me?
Sincerely,
Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected £96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was £4 missing.
I think it must have been those twats at the Post Office!
Monday….Sunday Went Whoosh!
I blew Sunday beavering away at work, doing human cost budgeting for our group of companies.
On Thursday and Friday, it is an audit for getting an ISO standard that Mr Corrupt needs to feed his ego!
I will be asked alot of questions.
I will be bored but pressed for time as Money Bags want the values for budget by Christmas eve. This is for across the region; China, Vietnam, Malaysia and Indonesia.
I definitely need Paddy’s humor to get me past this week as there is just so much to do, in so little time.
Ho hum Monday!! I dread it really!! The week ahead will be a drag!
