And Life With Money Bags #2

Yesterday, I did not finish work till almost midnight with Ms Feisty.

We were both hungry and tired. No dinner or lunch for both of us and it is all because of Money Bags.

Money Bags is a bully. He has caused 3 turns of HR Managers.

I am 4th Generation.

Money Bags thinks he is GOD. He is perfect and does not make mistakes in his role as Money Bags.

He accused me of having no integrity because he spotted a mistake.

I explained that it was a system glitch that caused the report generated to show a different result.

MONEY BAGS

“You did not check.”

ME

“I did check. I am explaining that Ms Feisty accidentally ran the report errorneous after I checked.”

MONEY BAGS

“You have NO INTEGRITY. You did not check”

At this stage I lost it as he attacked my integrity.

He is clueless about definitions. Intergrity hinges on no moral principles.

I told him if he has seen me prostituting?

“Why attack my moral principles?

I made a mistake. I thank you for pointing out and apologize but you are incapable of being nice even when you know I am trying my best working 16 hours in a day.”

I told him he was a bully and that he drove my predecessors to leave because of his attitude and rudeness.

MONEY BAGS

“HR versus FIN. I have saved a few in FIN. You should go find out.”

ME

” You have a big ego. You need to win. You are always right. I do not need to win. Co existence and move on is my take.”

I then gave him a soft landing when he backed down a bit.

MONEY BAGS

“Just continue with your checking”

ME

” Thank you for being a gentleman and apologising in your way”

MONEY BAGS

“I do not intend to apologize”

There you have it! Ego and Godlike persona. He will fall one day and I won’t catch him.

I do not need his apology as it is a mere word. Meaningless.

I will not back down to bullies as they will up the bullying when I don’t stand up to bullies.

My motto is not to do unto others what I don’t want others to do unto me.

Afterall karma bites!

I was prepared to shove the job and Eunuch really stood up for me.

Monkey Lord comforted me too and said that Money Bags was harmless. He said that Money Bags was upset with the Chairman.

I am glad Chairman ticked him off. But he in turn decided to kick me as his punching bag.

I kicked back.

Enough is enough!

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Paddy Jokes

Mentally Challenged Dog

Meals, Meals…How Do I Plan Thee?

My biggest bug bear is trying to get meals to be ready, like poof and voila ready for me to eat when I reach home.

Unfortunately, I ain’t a genie nor do I have a Fairy Godmother who would do this for me.

In real life, I am not one endowed with a domestic helper like most lil red dotters. I do not have a live in maid or helper and alot of it, is done by myself.

I am tired of working so late and crawling home only to know that my meals have to be cooked.

I do not eat like a Duke; my meals are simple but it still takes time to throw something together.

Which reminds  me, I need to make a trip to the supermarket as I am out of veggies and ready to eat items as in easy to microwave or dunk into boiling water.

I am only good at cooking 2 things – boiling a big pot of soup and frying rice vermicelli.

Oh, I could fry rice but with rice, I need to cook it and leave it sitting in the fridge for at least a night or else it is sticky and hard to fry.

I could just steam fish but to buy good and fresh Barramundi or bream steaks, I would have to travel to another supermarket.

I am unsure if you folks do your grocery shopping at different supermarkets for their key items.

I find fish not terribly fresh at one local chain as the fish preparer actually murders a perfectly fine fish. I mean, they do not do a good good of gutting the fish and the fish I end up with looks as if Freddy Krueger had taken a swing at it.

The fish at another supermarket chain is handled with pristine care and do not smell. This comes at  hefty price tag of $40 per kilogram for Barramundi or Bream steaks.

I would pay the price as it is nicely prepared, cleaned and packed into individually serving portions.

The other chain would include blood bath type water with the packaging and the fish would like it came out of a mortuary of a CSI lab!

I could fry up some dishes and keep them in the fridge to be reheated. But then, it means I have to boil rice and eat is as an accompaniment. FAT!

Sandwiches could be an option but again, I worry about the carbs. I am usually good at making tuna sandwiches with sour dough bread.

But it is hard to find sour dough bread at the witching hour of when I finish work.

So there…I am at a loss for meals.

Tin can rations, instant noodles or just cuppa soups?

 

And Life With Money Bags Is….#1

If I were to describe Money Bags to you, it would be a droopy eyed fella who loves to wear checkered shirts.

He is not the usual suit or tie guy despite the numerous zeroes in his paycheck nor his CFO title.

He does not even look like a CFO.

At best, I would describe him to be a cross mix of a sardonic mathematician who uses a zipped pencil case for his writing pens, ruler and pencil.

His calculator is not a scientific one but a simple Casio one.

His screen monitor in his room is always fixed on the stock market.

He is a micro manager by character but  he will always chide me when I ask him questions.

ME

“What is your approval matrix for cheque signatories”

MONEY BAGS

“C’MON you ask me these stupid questions. You think I am a guy to answer you with small things like this?”

NOTE1

Moron, if he does not tell me as a Head of Department as to what the approval matrix is, then who does? This means that he sees me as a gnat, not even a fly status and I was to approach his minions.

ME

” For these 2 head honchos do I get the Chairman to sign off on their numerous zeroes (6 to be exact) increment and bonuses?”

MONEY BAGS

” We have a board resolution for that, so just get one to sign for the other.”

NOTE2

This is not the wisest of decision. One recipient signing off for the other? I know we have a board resolution but would it not be nice if the board member appreciates the 2 persons? Or maybe the 6 zeroes is all that matters. The letter does not.

What do I know, I am HR but if it was me, 6 zeroes reign supreme but I would like the letter to be signed off by the Chairman. What Money Bags says goes but to err on the side of caution, I wrote to the right people to ask and carbon copied the Lords in the email.

I ain’t taking the fall for Money Bags. LOL!

 

Why Chinese Man Got Beaten Up

Daily Mail: COPS BEAT UP CHINESE MAN AFTER ASKING FOR HIS NAME….

“I’ve lost all faith in our police” said a very bruised Fuk Yu.

Big Oops…Manhood Gone, Just Like That!

Doc,” says Steve, “I want to be castrated.”
“What on earth for?” asks the doctor in amazement.
“It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time and I want to have it done” replies Steve.
“But have you thought it through properly?” asks the doctor, “It’s a very serious operation and once it’s done, there’s no going back. It will change your life forever!”
“I’m aware of that and you’re not going to change my mind — either you book me in to be castrated or I’ll simply go to another doctor.”
“Well, OK.”, says the doctor, “But it’s against my better judgement!”
So Steve has his operation, and the next day he is up and walking very slowly, legs apart, down the hospital corridor with his drip stand. Heading towards him is another patient, who is walking exactly the same way.
“Hi there,” says Steve,”It looks as if you’ve just had the same operation as me.”
“Well,” said the patient, “I finally decided after 37 years of life that I would like to be circumcised.”
Steve stared at him in horror and screamed, “Shit! THAT’S the word!”

Car Flooded Problem?

My wife just phoned me all hysterical and said ‘the engine has flooded on the car, it won’t start’

I laughed and said ‘don’t worry darling, it’s not the engine, it’s the carburettor, it sounds like you have been pumping the accelerator on the car before trying to start it up, tell me where the car is and I will come and fix it’

‘in the lake behind Tesco’s’, she replied!

INDIANS DON’T USE SADDLES – 18+ Audience Maybe

…

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down.
A Navajo on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.

The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a’ so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final ‘Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!’ and rode off.
‘What did you do to get that Indian so excited?’ asked the service-station attendant.
‘Nothing,’ the woman answered.
‘I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.’
‘Lady,’ the attendant said, ‘Indians don’t use saddles

CM’s Food Porn #34

Classmate or CM as I call him has a voracious appetite. He chugs down food like there is no tomorrow and smokes like a chimney!

1. Breakfast

Below is a typical Teochew style rice porridge with steamed fishcake and salted duck’s egg.

CM is Cantonese and porridge must be accompanied by noodles.

I frowned in seeing his cigarette packs on his work side table.

2. Lunch

Bowl of fish soup with a side of duck drumstick quarter and noodles.

3. Dinner

He found a stall selling roasted duck cheaply at $15!

This is Classmate’s meals in a day. If I eat like him, I would be broke and FATTER!